yeah sorry I can’t make it tonight I picked at my skin for three hours and now they won’t let me out of my cage until I’m presentable again

the post hair appointment shift in self esteem was so drastic it gave me whiplash

need to be frenched but with the tongue maintaining the accuracy of someone defusing a bomb because im already overstimulated just thinking about it

no one wants to get freaked up in a dennys at 2am anymore what happened to this world?

the overwhelming urge to explain myself six more times

whats a girl gotta do to get 100 compliments tonight??

connecting with my roots by posting nudes on reddit

Just remembered I exist! I don’t like it :)

anticipating the loss of the broth i just spent 5 hours making because i just know im gonna forget the bowl and pour it right down the drain

took a month at the gym to (barely) start beating the thass allegations

Ah yes a cup of coffee to take the edge off! I’m sure that will work :)

so desperate for friends i might just start messaging the bots in my dms back

leaving the expired cheese sticks in the fridge so I don’t Get In Trouble for wasting food (26 years old)

looking for a blood pressure machine but for my whole entire body

The only way I can do chores is if I do 8 chores at the same time so I can switch between them when I get bored

I love being home because I can connect with my inner child by open mouth wet coughing all over the place

Craziest life hack is having an addiction to get you out of bed in the morning. I never hit the ground running quite like I did when I was a wake and baker.

someone please tell me what I was just about to look up please

How did anxiety even get passed on as a trait?? My body: HEY THERE’S A THREAT!! Me: oh okay what’s the threat? My body: We don’t know. But definitely use up all your energy being aware of it! Like how did this shit not die off?

Don’t flatter me, I like it way too much and will fall for all of your tricks.

just got hit with the bone chilling anxiety that you’re all mad at me, so time to post a selfie to win back your favor

Am I about to be murdered by an intruder or is it just the ice machine? A question for the ages.

we can watch a scary movie but you’ve gotta let me pause and interrogate you at every critical moment so i can determine what our fate would be if we were in that situation

guess i should stop being a little bitch and participate in tummy tuesday

call them “lovely lady lumps” to my face i fucking dare you

tragic that I can’t just photosynthesize like what the fuck

I’ll never post my drafts but I won’t delete them either in case I need to humble myself

The way I looked tonight was pretty much as good as it gets and I didn’t take a SINGLE photo so basically I’m as bad as you can be at my job

If I say “don’t even get me started” it means I’m already started and I’m LIVING for it

saw something that I just knew people would be commenting dumb shit on but didn’t open the comments. in my healing era.

once I start getting dressed and doing the absolute bare minimum every morning it’s OVER for y’all

Cooked? Baby I’m burnt to a crisp. Pure ashes at this point.

One week into a 3 month tolerance break and my libido is already on the rise. I predict a content surge in the next few weeks in case you need something to look forward to :)

Graduated from rewatching a show every time there’s a new season to rewatching the entire current season every time there’s a new episode, so I’m not even gonna ask if I’m cooked. I have my answer.

sleep deprived and online, which means I’ll be replying to every post I see as if it was a personal message to me

Crying about pigeons and then feeling immense guilt that I don’t feel the same deep love in my heart for every other type of bird and then checking my cycle tracking app because honey I mean come on now…

anyone want to come help me search for the source of my eternal misery?? could be fun

problematic bedtime gap relationship

Water looks fine I think!

a song could be objectively the worst ever written but if they do that thing where they cut the music while they sing one line then bring the music back with slightly more energy i’m getting goosebumps idc

hmmm I should get up to get a piece of toast. yeah I should probably get up and get a piece of toast. I’ll get up and get a piece of toast. a piece of toast sounds great, I should get up and get that. mmmmm piece of toast. I should get up and get a piece of toast.

Can’t believe I audibly sighed after an app took an extra ten seconds to open. Just take me out back and do me like they did Lennie at this point.

the type of candids you get when they’re in love with you

you’re telling me some of you are remember to eat TWO whole meals before 6pm???

You guys wanted more orgasm videos so you guys get more orgasm videos! (You know where to go for the full vid at this point)

Almost made a tweet about liking coffee. It’s over for me.

thanks for calling me back :) just wanted to talk about how I hate myself because im not vegan!

and NO ONE is squeezing them can you BELIEVE it???

if you’re seeing this then you MUST tell me where we’re putting our hands in photos now

Why is there always an until? Why can’t it just all be fun and games?