Almost made a tweet about liking coffee. It’s over for me.

thanks for calling me back :) just wanted to talk about how I hate myself because im not vegan!

and NO ONE is squeezing them can you BELIEVE it???

if you’re seeing this then you MUST tell me where we’re putting our hands in photos now

Why is there always an until? Why can’t it just all be fun and games?

yeah baby there’s just something about your gaze, I’m getting lost in your SSReyes

Free subscription for anyone willing to physically restrain me from smoking weed

wow didn’t realize I set my apple watch to bully me mode

10:30 is a sacred time. A time to panic and stress about all of the poor decisions you made between 8:50 and 10:29

hmmm where’s my phone?? surely it can’t be in this spot I haven’t moved from in 5 hours, let me check literally everywhere else first!

really need 2026 to be the year that slumber party aesthetic takes off

Misspelling stake here was my final straw btw

Being alive in the 2000’s means I missed getting burned at the steak or lobotomized, instead I just have to live like this

I know for a fact there’s a correlation between how vicious the shit is and how busy the public restroom is I just can’t prove it

Currently experiencing the most vicious case of hiccups I’ve had in years, did one of you hex me?? Watch your back it’s serious now.

me when I’m “working”

Is it cool and cute of me to sink hours into the dumbest video games ever made or is it a turn off that I’ve played superstore simulator for hours on end?

Trying to think of something cute and/or funny to post while depressed is harder than (insert something funny here, I’d do it but I’m ✨depressed✨)

The high of remembering what you were doing after forgetting what you were doing is unmatched

Have more Christmas cookies! They won’t give you a tummy ache if you are truly burdened by the Christmas spirit

Banger? I barely know this woman you freak

What do you take me for, a god damn fool??? Congrats, very astute observation

“you should eat something before drinking all that coffee” okay but then it won’t hit the same way illegal substances do and I want to start my day feeling high in a culturally acceptable way

experienced my first random butt dial. tell me why it had to be a FACETIME call in the middle of the night to my middle school boyfriend who I haven’t spoken to in nearly a decade

“You just want attention all the time” yeah man I’m the eldest daughter of four, god forbid I crave the forbidden fruit

Only using “they clocked you” for time related observations from here on out

I don’t care what you say, my dad reacting to his own messages will always be a great bit

Somehow blindsided and shocked by my glass water bottle breaking

Is there anything better than three beers and posting on socials??

Been stuck in that mood where I’m hungry but nothing sounds appetizing. Just inject me with a nutrient paste at this point

is that bugs on my arm or is it absolutely fucking nothing?

Rating everything I made for thanksgiving: Deviled eggs: 9/10, presentation could’ve been better Puff pastry cheese bites: 3/10, cheese got too melty and the ratios were off Mashed potatoes: 7/10, pretty standard nothing special, I’ll try growing ratte potatoes for next years mashed

reached my lowest point today (had to look up how many grams in a kilogram when kilo literally means 1000)

daylight savings time is actually psychological warfare because what the fuck do you mean you’re making the shortest days of the year an additional hour shorter???

can’t believe I’ve made it 3 days off the sauce (weed gummies)

a singular blink later and suddenly it’s 3 am

Just soaking up some sunshine

if you want to get an idea for what my type is just know when I would flirt with my crushes in high school people thought I was doing it to bully them

made myself cum hard as fuck, hope that’s okay with you!

Just made chai caramel sauce that’s so good it doesn’t even matter if I bomb the rest of my thanksgiving prep

the sudden 1 am urge to change every aspect of my life

be honest do I look blasted?

love when my unpopular opinion becomes kinda normal (feet guys are hot)

they told me I needed to make some friends so I made this little guy

sorry I can’t come over I have an appointment in four days

the edibles hitting this hard only 30 minutes in certainly can’t be a good sign

New video is up! If you’re into JOI, girlfriend roleplay, and cumming together then you might want to check this one out 💕

I wouldn’t say I’m codependent, I would just say I’m fully dependent

I love a dress that helps my tits defy the laws of physics

zipping this dress up took 40 minutes so now I need to wear it around the house for at least 3 hours