Ah the memories

Idk who 90% of my steam friends are but this made me question if I was high

Would female cats and dogs still be popular pets if they menstruated like we do?

If an mythical race lives for thousands of years, and so at 100 they're still seen as a child, if you sleep with them are you a child predator?

Watched a video of someone beatboxing and it made me wonder. Would getting eaten out by a beatboxer be amazing, or would it be like when you click too far on your vibrator and it does those random patterns that no one enjoys? Makes ya think.

If a woodchuck chucks all the wood a woodchuck can chuck; does that make the woodchuck a slut?

We used to be a real country. Look at what they've taken. Feminism has gone too far. I demand my slutty wench wife auction.

I got flat on the interstate going 75 Got over 4 lanes of traffic to the first exitWent to the Walmart. Changed the spare myself. 4 guys parked across from me looked at me and walked inside. I thought chivalry was dead til I saw they were driving a Tesla and prob didnt know how to change a tire

Censoring trigger words is the stupidest shit, but I stg it took me a sec to realize "sewer slide" was suicide and not slang for anal

I'm writing a fan fiction. No you may not read it. No I won't tell you anything about it. But I needed to share. Nice.

I have a very cute pill case that I got to put a dose of my meds in for when I forget to take them (including my adhd meds) Yesterday I forgot my meds but remembered the case I had forgotten to fill the case after the last time I forgot... 🙃 (I remembered to fill it last night)

I need to get up for eyedrops and food but he's pretending to be asleep and that he can't hear me. Everyone knows it's illegal to move a cat off your lap when they're this cute

So many people think indefinite means infinite "it's saved for an indefinite amount of time" "umm actually it's not indefinite. They do delete we just don't know the timeframe" ..... That's what indefinite means you muffin head. An un-defined amount of time.

Hot take I saw an article about Ut banning books in school. I agree, some of them should absolutely not be banned. But ppl upset that acotar series is banned from school libraries are stupid af. Its smut ppl. Porn. I love it, but I don't want my 15 yr old niece reading this (acosf excerpt)

I was finally able to test a theory I've always wondered. If someone who doesn't need glasses puts on someones prescription glasses, do they essentially see what the one with poor vision does without them? I can confirm, (mostly) yes.

I got lasik today and I'm going to be insufferable by pointing out everything I can see.

The carpet in this office building is a crime against humanity The pic doesn't do it justice how blindingly white and nauseating it is (genuinely it gives me vertigo)

People who use "unalive" make me want to kill myself.

My psychologist did more for my mental health with one question than all other forms of therapy combined.

I know ppl like little Ceasars bc they can get pizzas that are ready immediately but I love when they say they don't have one yet and it will be like 10 min A fresh Italian cheesy bread with extra seasoning is on a different level

I constantly tell people the wrong direction when saying left or right. Its not that I don't know directions, they're just named wrong. Right is soft and round and so is west. Left is sharp like a triangle and so is east.

One day I'll put ikea furniture together without any errors on the first try. Today is not that day.

When I want to keep something I'm writing a secret I write it in cursive since like 90% of ppl wouldn't be able to read it (at least not at a glance)

It's taken 31 years, but I finally figured out how to write a cursive s and r without stopping and stuttering my way through it.

My hair went on a little journey this weekend. I went to a salon and pair for a cut which just... No. So I grabbed my clippers and fixed it. How it started What I asked for What I got My own lil magic

Imagine if pube hair was the same texture and the rest of your hair.

Oops 🤭

I decided to play some cod for the first time in years. Got an easy triple kills first game (srs my grandma has better awareness and she's dead). Kid screamed about reloading 😂

I was looking through old pics and... Oct 2022 vs Oct 2025

Just a reminder well in advance. Your tax return isn't free money. It's a part of your paycheck the government demanded you loan them with no interest. You had to remind them to give back extra.

I need to clean... which means I instead recreated my house in the Sims so I could try different furniture layouts

Okay question... I feel like this started when I was in HS but not sure if it's still a thing, bc I've had ppl look at me genuinely worried when I do this. But do yall still jokingly super over react to minor inconvenience that you'll kys? Ex below

I'm not saying I'm the best Auntie, but there's no Auntie better than me 💅

I almost just reached out to best buy about my left ear bud resulting in a high pitch ringing, but thankfully decided to test more. The earbud was ring in my right. So I stuck my finger in my left ear instead. It's my ear itself that's causing the high pitched ring...

I got commission to draw a kid by an organization The kids parents said it didn't look like him, even after I made his face generic (his smile is 90% gums) The parents insisted they use a chat gpt pic instead I still got paid but need ppl to see how good I did

I dressed up in a giant inflatable unicorn for my nieces 5th bday and their first instinct seeing me was to start beating the shit out of me. Sparkles had to ask an adult for help before she started yelling at the children. 5 year olds are violent dude

After a failed bowling night for my nieces bday I was stopped at a red light and heard a loud screech before a car shot up beside me. I got a text from my sister and learned it was apparently a much closer call than I knew Me: ugg bowling right? Sister: you literally almost died.

I 100% thought the people waving American flags at cars on my way to work was about this Kirk fellow (Sorrows. Prayers) until a friend wished me a happy 9/11 😂

There's something embarrassing about returning items bc of cost, but I literally went from the register to the return counter bc the total made me sick. Returned things and bought some of it half price other places. Total cost went from $228 to $90. Dont be afraid to change ur minds pals

I taught myself to draw at a young age so I'd see people who don't draw try and think, how the hell cant you make a smooth line? Then I tried to draw with my left hand.

I'm dabbling with some writing and I'm just going for it, I have no plan as I type and I gasped as I wrote my own plot twist. Me - creates a character for 1 paragraph and falls in love with them Me - kills them in the next paragraph Also me - 😭 what kind of a monster would do this. Oh. Me.

I got some new stickers from Etsy and I'm absolutely in love www.etsy.com/shop/Grandpa...

"loitering" being illegal is absolutely wild. How dare you exist in public without a clear and "legitimate" purpose

Destiny can get pretty repetitive so sometimes I just look for people to help Slowly helped 2 ppl learn the path for expert zero hour who were new. Got on the mic and gave advice for using titan glide. Ended the night getting him the whisper.

I got a chemical peel for some really bad breakouts I've been experiencing (it helped so much) but the girls at the counter obviously get employee discounts. The lip filler and botox on 20 year olds.... Babes pls you look 45 and it's so so obvious you have filler

My mom's 70th bday is coming up and I'm going to decorate the fuck outta the house. Like I'm gonna put one of those tinsel curtains outside their bedroom door before she wakes up. Ideas for decorations??? A bunch of small gifts?

I saw a bright flash last night and realized there was a massive lightning storm happening behind the mountain range 10/10

I had a cup of coffee. Then I took my Adderall. I made another cup of coffee. My boss brought espresso kcups to work. I made espresso. I poured some of my second cup of coffee into the espresso. My body is confused.