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40 Days of Dent? I give up

Helping Iran set up $2 million tariffs for the Strait of Hormuz. That’s capitalism baby!

Like the rising of the sun of in the west as it sets in the east, he will always taco

Somewhere in a nation's capital, We'll Meet Again plays on repeat in the leader's mind

Welcome back everyone who was away for Lent. I have some some amazing gossip—

Jesus Christ has exited and conquered the celebrity death portal. Alleluia.

Off to go quell a minor peasant uprising. I hope nothing goes wrong—!

Jesus of Nazareth has entered the celebrity death portal

There’s a strange green fog/hand outside my window, should I be worried?

Pamela Jo Bondi the now former Attorney General has fallen out of a window!

What if he announces tonight he is also into bimbofication

S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S P A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C E !

What happens if the astronauts don’t get to the moon before the new moon disappears?

He’s Bryon with an o cause Bryon with an O goes ( ‘ )( . )

I have thus far avoided Lindy West poly discourse and will continue to do so

I didnt have the bandwidth for the front page of the Times today. I'm fine—just too much bullshit

Im likely not No Kinging because I like neither crowds nor chants. But Im around—?

The groceradio was playing No Doubt’s Spiderwebs. My god I am old.

He’s going to launch the invasion and/or end this war on or by Easter/Passover. Not because of a country in the eastern Mediterranean but because a Christofascist is running the DOD it would be the most on the nose thing to tie this to the holiest day in Christianity or to coöpt Judaism

So what that they're putting his signature on money. We will just call them donnies and complain about the price of petrol going up three donnies because of his stupid pointless war

Hear me out: Buttigieg-Talarico 2028. America needs a Protestant Twink ticket

I fell down a Wikipedia wormhole and landed on someone examining the historical inaccuracies of Billy Joel’s Ballad of Billy the Kid

Jenna: So Mrs Mullin, your name is also Markwayne? Mrs Mullin: No dear, my name is Mar space qwain, so my name is Mark Wayne.

My favorite thing about Markwayne Mullin is that he is so named after his father’s brothers Mark & Wayne who were childless so his mother wrote Markwayne on his certificate to honor both intending to go back & change the certificate after picking one name. But she never did & now he is Markwayne

Held og lykke, og lad være med at ødelægge det, Danmark

I finally watched Wicked colon For Good. And it wasnt terrible? It has its weaknesses. Everyone knows it has second act problems and there is nothing the film could do to save it. Otherwise, it looks beautiful, the production itself is mostly fine, nothing wrong with them.

What www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/p...

To be clear: I care not for sportinghoop & I hate Spring Mental Illness tournament more

Robert Mueller, enemy to our god-emperor & failed [redacted] to the [redacted] has entered the portal

I have spent more time than I care to admit counting Bibi Netanyahu’s fingers

Now that we unsanctioned Iranian oil all we have to do is sell weapons to Venezuela and use that money to fund rebels in Cuba

How the fuck is Markwayne Mullin not secretly Danny McBride

So 20% of the Duggar sons are pedophiles?

I watched the new Kiss of the Spider Woman (2025) and to call it terrible would be an insult to things that actually terrible. It was so bad I said to a friend, "I am twenty minutes in" before realizing I was only ten minutes it. It just felt longer.

I heard The Ballad of Henry McCarty alias William H. Bonney by William Joel on the Quality Fentanyl Centre groceradio

just look at Rand Paul and Markwayne Mullin fighting like drag queens at a wig sale

Venezuela has triumphed over These United States in the World Baseball Tournament Grande Finale, much to our god-emperor’s delight and satisfaction!

Since I am neither Irish nor Catholic, as is tradition I am having pizza tonight

I realized I have been spelling it the Straight of Hormuz. As opposed to the Bisexual of Hormuz

All the people mad that Mamdani hosted an iftar thus violating church and state are also mad at government officials celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day, right?

PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON! & my friends thought I was a weird guy for loving Magnolia

I was fine until Barbra started singing. Fortunately for you all I still cant cry

Why isnt Thomas Pynchon at the Oscars?! Paul Thomas Anderson adapted his book after all. He should be there!

Is it tradition, there are plenty of people who are not watching the Oscars who will know exactly what to be fauxraged about this week

Kumail Nanjiani: A tie! Katherine Hepburn's ghost: Not again! Barbra Streisand: Well that's marvelous!

These casting directors look so thrilled just to have actors they cast heap gratitude upon them

Anna Wintour to present Best Costume with Anne Hathaway? I think I finally understand vertical integration

What. No brought me pie today? You all disappoint me.

Italy has bested Puerto Rico in the World Baseball Tournament! Finally, someone won West Side Story