My keys for work have a tag that says “keys to the shit show” and the sad part is, it’s not even funny

My boss just went on a 10 minute tirade because he misheard something, and even when it was explained to him that we didn’t do the thing he was upset about, he just continued anyway. Listening skills are 10/10 on this one.

Additional shoutout to that picture of me with an oversized patched up hoodie and tripp pants on standing in front of a no loitering sign.

Shoutout to 16 year old me taking emo edgelord selfies in the bathroom wearing an akatsuki cloak. You go kid.

Does anyone remember the starbomb video game comedy songs? Every once in a while they pop in my head and I’ll mutter something crazy like “What’s inside the question block? It’s my dick.”

My personality is ephemeral in the way a shotgun shell is, and by that I mean I was made to clear a room.

Going back to work after time off like “Aw shit, here we go again.”

I hate that whelmed is a word. You may know it from underwhelmed or overwhelmed fame but to be totally satisfied with no changes necessary is to be whelmed…how do we use under and over but never in my life have I heard someone say “I’m whelmed”

Alright, I’m gonna be a social media girly. Gonna keep up with it this time. I can do it, I have the power, I WILL shitpost.

As it turns out, the requirements to turn any breakfast into a country breakfast hinges solely around the inclusion of a potato dish, and biscuits with gravy.

I think it’s really funny when people clearly have no control over their lives so they attempt to shame me for things I have a lack of control over in mine. I understand being frustrated in a situation, but coming at my orientation and gender due to that frustration is silly.

NO KINGS 🇺🇸

I tend to the bullet crops, the blazing gunpowder sun washing over my metallic casing.

So like, why does “Bite me” have a negative connotation? Like…what if it’s a genuine request? You know, as a prank between very platonic friends

So I'm taking cyber security classes, and I'm in a lesson about different types of social engineering attacks being tested using this linux program. The class is all online/written/self guided, and so the description is talking about what each option does in the program, and one of them is about

“Comrade”, I say stoically. “Comrade”, she says with light in her eyes. “Comrade?”, I ask as I turn my head 360 degrees. “Comrade…”, she replies with uncertainty. “Comrade!”, I shout with vigor. “Comrade.”, she confirms.

Truly wild to go through life thinking I don’t like being touched, or cuddling, feelings, or existing in any way that doesn’t remind a person of a stone wall, only to find out that apparently that’s not true and that in 30 years of existence I have just now met a person that brings it out in me.

People: blowing their genie wishes on money and big titty goth girls. Me: using my wish to go to Point Pleasant, West Virginia in November of 1966. We are not the same

Execute me on the spot, but in a cute and flirty way that lets me know you’re interested

When you left I felt more alone than I’ve ever been And time passed And passed And when we finally spoke again I knew That in your absence I was less alone than I’ve ever been

You cannot break broken Rocks will crumble, but sand endures the wrath of oceans. You are the storm The rain feels better when it is yours, And it will end And the flowers will bloom Every scar can be art Emotion only breeds creation Make songs of the sadness Paint walls in anger Die laughing

Looking up at the sky thinking about motorcycles and trampolines. Life was better when the simplest pleasures were the greatest. For my third birthday we lived in Safford, Arizona. Ma and dad took me to McDonalds. We didn’t have much to spare, but for some reason that was really special to me.

Fun fact: if someone gets you gifts that you said specifically not to get you, and then attempts to leverage that against you by saying you don’t reciprocate their friendship, they’re not your friend and they’re trying to use you to get stuff.

So I’ve been losing weight and every morning I get on the scale and it shows me a fun new radio station I should check out.

I mistyped a message to someone about a dream I had and said my dream was “hustling”. So I be makin’ dollars in my sleep or some shit.

Who the hell actually let me be in charge of anything? “Hmm this punk ass chick who has a history of despising corporate entities and big business is certainly the best choice to lead a store in our company.” Fuckin’ hell, y’all. #retail #management #work #gottapaythebillssomehow

Those of you in the lgbt community, if you face discrimination or retaliation and need assistance, I am here to help. DM me if you need to. I will always help if I can.

I’ll be here. You can’t erase me. You can make laws and I will not go away. You can sign orders and I will not go away. You can remove protections and I will not go away. You can come to me and try to forcefully remove me, and I will not go away. Shotgun in hand, smile on my face. I will not go away

I recognize that any action I take is simply a drop in an ocean, but it was weird deleting so many of my social apps this morning knowing that the leaders of the companies who make them think I shouldn’t exist.

I knew it was coming and yet I was still upset when I tried to get on TikTok this morning and it said I can’t. How am I supposed to make shitpost videos now?

Part of my job as a manager in a retail environment is to go to bat for my employees. I recognize that customer service allows the customers to get away with quite a bit, but I’ll do you no favors if you mistreat my people.

Lady at work asked me I was pro-life. I said “no but I’m probiotic” and she just stared at me for a while. I hope her guts get better.

Winter storm 2025 y’all

When you see the blank look on my face please just know that the overworld map theme from Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles is playing in my head.

So in 40K the Orks get bigger and stronger when they defeat strong enemies. In dark souls the characters get bigger and stronger when they absorb great souls which can be o rained by defeating strong enemies. Dark souls is Orks I will hear no argument.

Still learning and followed a tutorial for this. The effects of Bob Ross really are still felt today.

Got a mystery flavor from my box of K-Cups like a hot surprise load straight from my coffee maker. Now I’m caffeinated and feel kinda dirty.