"Hey Dowd, I have a joke so funny your tits will fall off. Oh wait, sorry. You've already heard it." I was 14 and we were in music class.

Nephew B is 7 which means I get gifts from the school’s holiday shop. Behold my squishy capybara! It was one of the most popular items, I’m told.

The Onion movie critic has some thoughts about Uncle Billy. youtube.com/watch?v=GGko...

Now, please don't forget to supplement your viewing with the lost ending! www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw89...

Tonight I am watching It’s A Wonderful Life. It’s a movie that I’ve seen many scenes from but never watched it in its entirely.

You will be visited by three spirits.

Merry Christmas to all who observe! It's been years since I've been in a church (other than funerals) but these lines still give me hope. (1/2) And in despair I bowed my head: “There is no peace on earth,” I said, “For hate is strong, and mocks the song Of peace on earth, good will to men.

Me: I'm going to run all of the gifts over to Mom's for tomorrow. I'm thinking ahead! I'm a genius! *45 minutes later* (Drives back to Mom's to retrieve MIL's gifts that were mistakenly dropped off w/the others)

Mailed. I also tucked an Eagles page-a-day calendar into the box.

Here’s the final spread! Clockwise from top: pizzelles, gingerbread cookies, sugar sprinkle cookies, peanut butter blossoms, lemon crinkles, and Hello Dolly bars. Tomorrow I’ll give some to the neighbors and mail some to Dad. #cookieparty

Our office is closed 12/24-1/4 and all we need to do is check/respond to members' emails as we go. It's a sweet deal. But today is 12/23. My tradition is to pull up a yule log video on my 2nd screen as I tackle the last of a year that hasn't been very kind to healthcare & healthcare-adjacent orgs.

Baking day 2! Starting with Hello dolly bars and a graham cracker crust. #cookieparty

(snort!!)

It’s time. Before we go all internetty, hands and surfaces are frequently washed and my kitchen is small. Today’s plan: lemon crinkles, sugar drop sugar cookies, peanut butter blossoms. Possibly more. #cookieparty

I hope if the Democrats (or the next liberal party) ever get back into power, they bring the same "put the letters on the building the next day" energy as the current administration.

Welp, M spent 1hr 40m on the expressway to go a total of 3 miles. He eventually decided to take a PTO day and go home. Be safe out there, NJ.

Oh. Ok mom.

Fun fact about me: When I see a popup with an option to reject all cookies on a website? I'm rejecting them. I can still read the content.

I asked Dad what he wanted for Christmas and he said ... cookies. Okay. I can do that.

ANTHONY GEARY TOO???? I need to be the one to break this to Mom. Shit.

Even *I* watched many of Rob Reiner's movies.

Sweet merciful crap there's so much terrible happening.

Proud to put this lovely work of art by @xingcat.bsky.social on my tree!

Heading home from the work holiday party. I smuggled a coffee onto the train and it is bliss.

Since I woke up grumpy, I'll admit to being the only person who does not Cozy Earth sheets. MIL bought us a set ("Merry Christmas! I bought you sheets!") and I feel like I'm sleeping in chewed gum. Stretchy but still wrinkly. Maybe I just prefer cotton/cotton-blend sheets.

“Here’s my grandmother’s (mainstream cookbook’s) recipe for (common dessert) which I have lovingly adapted for my new cookbook (added sea salt). Comment RIP-NONNA for the link!”

Spent some time this early morning unfollowing every account on Instagram that uses the “comment BLAH and I’ll DM you the link” engagement bait.

*observes Murphy, almost 9, calmly napping in the other room* Does my dog need a puppy?

I’m watching The Holiday for the first time and they’re really going to make Jack Black and Kate Winslet happen?

Not to be all SPORTS but I’d like the NJ Devils to win tonight.

Was the slice of pizza with tiny pepperoni cups, swirls of ricotta, and a drizzle of Mike's Hot Honey worth the 90 minutes of awake time last night? I think the answer is yes. Happy Friday from your friend who is being held together this morning by the magic of Pepto-Bismol.

I never watched Game of Thrones but I use this Tommen tumbling out the window .gif at least once a week.

I swear the most precious of entrepreneurs are the substack writer/podcasters. Most will describe their workday as going to the gym for an 8:30 class, starting work at 10am, taking a lunch break from 12-2 and ending at 4 so they can play mahjong or get Botox.

It’s better to give than to receive but I don’t want to be tech support for the bird feeder with a wireless cam on it so I shall not gift it.

Rent is due on Monday and I am freaking-out, I am a long ways away. I don't know what else to say; I am at your mercy, pals. If you can afford to donate, or share my post: I thank you! 🙏 I can accept etransfers in CDA: idi_canna @ outlook•com Or, PayPal to: BananuhBlueSky (QR) ♥️

I bought a book for Nephew B from Bookshop.org today and with the free shipping it was less than it would have cost on Amazon.

GO SPANIELS!!!

Lainey Wilson is such a a caricature.