Not me disappearing from this app for 2 months to just come back drunk, upset that I downloaded a dating app lmao this is supposed to be a phan account damn it their love is too pure and I want itttttttt

Guys I just took the big step of downloading dating apps even though they scare me like mcr is scared of teenagers and honestly that's enough, im tired. (It took 4 drinks, I literally hate dating apps so much omg but how else do you meet people in this day and age help im cringing at myself)

The cutest boy just came and cleaned the carpets in my house and I left all my photocards out all framed on my desk and there's a lot of them. Fuck my little phannie life imma be single forever thanks to those damn twinks and their little pheal too

Imagine you're a clown fish just about to go out on a journey to find your son and a couple of twinks show up to shove a camera in your face smh

Man, I love Dandelion and Patchouli 💕💕

So we thought it was bad that we were subscribed to a couples channel, well it's so much worse. We're subscribed to a Phamily Channel.

do you reckon phil took that shirtless pic specifically for the meme or do you think he just had that lying around

April fools this year is going to be a post of a thumbnail for it takes two part two, but then they never post the video cause it doesn't exist. April fools nerds.

it came! everybody cheered!!

I've managed to get my hands on a copy of the livestream so I'm going to finally be able to write/record my full review of tit that I've been wanting to make for months now!! I just wanted to be able to see what tit was supposed to be like since my viewing didn't have the set and a bunch of props

guess i need my new phone to come today pray for me plz

is this a safe space? I love doechii but I can't listen to anxiety cause I'm australian and gotye has me in a chokehold i guess

terrible influence tour was a damn movie

I guess we had never really questioned what The Pheal was doing prior to Dan and Phil. My phriend has lived a life!

omg my phone died completely a few days ago and i've been fighting for my life to get back into this account. I can finally shitpost here again (and update my pfp)

They're obsessed with me I fear

Me when I catch my mum trying to take a candid shot to upload to her Facebook but I have to be a queer prick about it

Oh golly gee, where did this mess come from 😏 guess a little roomba like me is just gonna have to nomnomnomnom chow down on this feast

Girly pop I know damn well we all went through the same pandemic a few years ago, put a mask on and give some roooooomm please did we learn nothing

*me at the chemist getting my happy pills* Women directly next to me speaking to a pharmacist: "So yea can I get some of the strong cold and flu meds you have behind the counter? I'm experiencing the worst cold symptoms with an ear infection. Yea I'm just coughing and sniffling everywhere!!" Me:

I don't watch reality TV much or write fanfic but I had the wildest overwhelming compulsion to write an AU where dan and phil meet on Married at First Sight. Probably cause this new aus season suuuucksss

my superbowl 🥰😍🤩😘❤️❤️‍🔥🩷💛

I'm so sorry that I got drunk last night and talked about devon smh someone needs to lock down my phandom accounts when I drink lmao do I have to get my ukulele out T_T

Ok sorry im leaving now

How did I get here I was just trying to make a sully dan and phil joke and now it's ruined my childhood

Me finding out at 10pm on a Saturday, drunk as hell, that devon is defined as either pork or 'a mix of meats in a sausage shape'

Wait a minute is Devon an Australian thing or did children in other countries have to suffer through the Devon phase? Like if I saw a Devon and tomato sauce sandwich today I would throw up fr

Man, I love Devon and Pepperoni.

That sims segment was a fever dream, did we actually get a window cause that whole thing felt uncanon somehow lmao

Omg I'm also turning 28 this year, can't believe phil and I are the same age xxx Happy Birthday Daddio

I have all the patience in the world for a learner driver, but someone walking in front of me slowly causes a rage in me. Especially parents that walk hand in hand with their baby who can barely walk in super busy places. I'm tall af I need to stride, I will step over you I got places to be

There's these new ads on the radio about driver safety and one of their comparisons of learner drivers is that "you wouldn't be made getting stuck behind a toddler learning to walk" Sorry but that's way more infuriating than a learner drive lmao I would overtake a toddler aggressively

Dan really just went and fucking lied by saying they've never done minecraft 🙄🙄🙄🙄 if he was a true phan he would know smh eyeroll

I have a sty in my eye please let it die

I have no idea how I've not received a Phil Lester Cease and Desist, honestly...

It's the rat falling from the ceiling of a wedding tiktok for me. Dan literally asks Phil if they could have a hundred rats drop safely from the ceiling, why would you ask your bestie about your wedding plans hmmm??? Seems like something you'd ask YOUR SPOUSE. GOT YOYU FREAKK, IM TELLING TUMBLR 🔎🔎🔎

"hello dan and phil games laddiieeess" Me, an enby:

dan and phil are my favourite lesbians

It's so interesting posting memes to tumblr and bluesky cause most of the stuff that blows up on tumblr does nothing here and vice versa. Guess I shouldn't be surprised, tumblr be wild.

I just organised one of those PowerPoint parties and now I wish I didn't

plums are just oversized cherries

fuck donald trump 🖕👎

Sure, they're shitting all over it but the biggest fuck you would be to give it no air time.

Trans rights are human right forever and always no matter what some orange oompa loompa says

Get the trump inauguration off my Australian television fuck saakkkeeee ewww