🎵 We're off to see the wizard 🎵 www.wickedmovie.com

Last night, while we were looking at the few baby pictures we have from before her adoption, Emma surprised me with a question, "Who had me?" I replied, "A lady in China. I don't know her name." She continued, "Why didn't she want me?"

I finally got the new Windows 11 Start menu, though I had to use ViveTool to force it. I'm in the Release Preview ring. I was just tired of waiting for it. I like the extra width for apps and the mobile device toggle the most.

Fun date night at Painting with a Twist creating art together. www.instagram.com/p/DRQvEkQEfL...

I'm at that age when my kids are too cool to talk to me, my wife is too angry to talk to me, and my parents are too gone to talk to me.

The decision to stop producing pennies doesn't make a lot of cents.

"You don't need more discipline. You need better systems." - Seth Capehart, MD

"If we want better men, we need to be better men." - Scott Galloway @profgalloway.com

In honor of restarting my @planetfitness membership, this morning I'm queuing up my workout playlist from 2014. #loseit www.instagram.com/p/DQmFkhAESl...

Fern, Charlotte, and Wilbur are off to school... #SomePig #CharlottesWeb www.instagram.com/p/DQePSa1kf5...

I thought I watched the new Tron movie, but it turns out I went in the wrong door accidentally and just had a retinal exam.

It's Tronnin' time!

If it feels like it's you versus the world, chances are it's really just you versus yourself. - Mark Manson (@markmanson.bsky.social)

I recently heard someone say that elbow skin is the closest to scrotum skin. Dude, how long are your arms?

Sending your entire family the price of gas at Costco is the ultimate dad text.

In Fantastic Four: First Steps, there's a quick shot of a footprint with a 4 logo in it. While certainly a cool visual, it means that the team has a backwards 4 printed on the bottom of their boots for the specific purpose of leaving themed footprints. www.instagram.com/reel/DPlj4Y3...

I've never understood songs that fade out at the end. Is the band walking away from you? Or are you walking away from them?

Having a great time walking to raise money for the #americanheartassociation www.instagram.com/p/DPG7DNekdE...

Great moments in meteorology: 1993, while working as a weatherman at KTLA, a young Calvin Broadus Jr. coins the term "drizzle."

Does anybody know what time the Rapt--

Celebrating the good old days at Scripps Networks Interactive with some great friends. www.instagram.com/p/DOw7VF8EVO...

Twenty years ago today, we said, "I do." #happyanniversay www.instagram.com/p/DOuKP3BEeh...

That feeling when you decide to research dementia, and all the links are purple.

Little dog, let me walk you. Let me walk you, little dog. Let me walk you, that's all I want to do.

Breaking: Nintendo issues cease and desist order against Sabrina Carpenter

Two old ladies were walking in the park, when a flasher jumped out in front of them. One had a stroke. The other just kept her hands to herself.

A warm toilet seat feels nice, unless you think too hard about how it got that way.

"Don't mistake others' quests for your own." - Mark Manson (@markmanson.bsky.social)

Thinking of opening a donut shop next to Planet Fitness called "C'mon, You Earned It."

The greatest impact you can have on the world is to be ready to turn left.

If Bing could pick a background image that doesn't look at a glance like my screen is cracked, that'd be great. www.instagram.com/p/DNTzA2HRB-...

You might think my favorite camel-celebrity hybrid would be Lorenzo Llamas, but it's actually Alpaca-cino.

Exploring the new Copilot mode in Edge and it's a game changer! Loving the seamless navigation and intuitive design. Anyone else tried it yet? www.microsoft.com/en-us/edge/a...

If Happy Gilmore 2 doesn't include a scene where Adam Sandler fist fights Drew Carey, I'm cancelling my Netflix subscription.

Chuck Mangione, pro wrestling icon, dead at 84. #AIweeklyrecap

Donald? Yes, Jeffrey. Is the water warm enough? Yes, Jeffrey. Shall we begin? Yes, Jeffrey.

I once got tripped by a centipede and fell over one hundred feet.

Sarah's first baseball game! www.instagram.com/p/DMBm7w3x98...

Raisins are the tortilla chips of the fruit world.

Just finished Apple in China by @patrickmcgee.bsky.social. If you care about global technology, politics, or economics, you need to read this book. appleinchina.com

Haim is like if an AI music LM was trained exclusively on Pinterest boards.

How do you know for sure that every squirrel you've ever seen isn't just the same squirrel?

Fellas, who among us hasn't fired a few missiles after declaring a ceasefire?

If your best friend Harry has a brother Larry, and it's Larry's wedding, then why are YOU going to be the best man?

I tot I taw a Cybewtwuck.

Well, that was the fastest two weeks ever.

Honest question: given how good AI has become at text to speech, how are audiobooks as a separate business still a thing?

"Challenge people with more power than you. Defend people with less power than you." - George Clooney

In retrospect, I suppose it was kind of insensitive for me to describe our new Scrub Mommy sponge as just like the old Scrub Mommy sponge, except it does Pilates.

@regalmovies.bsky.social wants me to buy tickets NOW for the Jurassic Park movie that's opening in July. Ease up fellas, it's not a live show.