printing out a bunch of business cards that say "gz on the e but you need to buy a bra now" to slide to baby trans girls I see in the wild that are crazy nipped up

yeah I got that WAP (withering atrophied penis)

so when we get to the eternal afterlife what's the age situation gonna be, like do we get to pick? Is it eternal youth? How young? Are there no milfs in heaven? Is it problematic to have a relationship between someone who's 400 and someone who just died at like 80? the vatican blocked my number

mlem

The place I live is so labyrinthian that sometimes I meet lost delivery guys and have to guide them through the halls to their destination

cats are never a normal weight they're either super light or way heavier than they look

I swung at a dude leaving him totally unscathed but the mountain behind him was cleaved in half, everyone thought it was a really impressive show of force but I just fuckin missed

You're not meant to drink the whole bottle Echo.

You're not meant to drink the whole bottle Echo.

they think I'm super powerful but my sword just has an insane modifier versus background elements for some reason

the fuck you mean "grind the dragons for XP?" I've been on this things dick for an hour and haven't levelled up once.

kitten, daddy's creatively bankrupt, the safeword is "safeword"

just heard about this place called Furnace Creek, yeah it's in Death Valley, what do you think the weather is like there, mild? yeah probably mild.

bunnygirls this bunnygirls that where are the bunnywomen

mlem

pleased to announce they've hired me to make serial killer names that sound less cool. So far we're tracking the West Philadelphia Babyman and the East-Coast Dinkler

everyone an ally till they see a trans dude with a forcemasc or noncon or misgendering kink

dumb warhammer doodle

Hey what are your pronouns, I'm gonna talk mad shit about you later but want to make sure I'm being respectful

What are your intentions with my daughter? Me:

kinda dumbass name is Jorjor Well anyway

what if Slenderman was trying to stop you finding his pages because they're all his Highschool Deviantart drawings.

I love living in a society where I can't vote for who I want and instead I have to vote against who I don't want.

As someone with mild autism and adhd, seeing someone who ONLY has mild autism is like watching some higher form of life functioning.

eating sour gummy bears rn and istg one of the flavours of bear tastes like armpit sweat

actually really jealous of people into feet or vore or whatever, I'd love to have a kink that gave me sufficient emotion for me to get really weird about it.

when the artist draws a small-boobed character stretching and actually makes the nipples oval-shaped rather than perfect circles 💦💦

You'll have to put in a lot of work to do that.

she got DID and all her alters are bottoms call that a subsystem

Petplay but you leave the door open, I get out and am immediately hit by a car.

if george orwell was born today he'd be like googoo gaga

its so funny to me that early metal music was seen as super dark and scary to parents when literally every song is about wizards fighting orcs or some shit

bird

"I'll call you Chopper, because it looks like your antlers can chop down trees" Me: "Okay not sure about that but I kinda follow" "Yes, Tony Tony Chopper" Me: "Alright you've lost me again"

I like lifting my girlfriend's head when she's asleep it's like holding a coconut

showing severe symptoms of bein a freaky lil dude

explicitly made sure to have a dedicated "frolicking under the bedcovers" session with my girlfriend so if one of us dies the other than have flashbacks to it.

badass swashbuckling pirate character who gets outted when he gets scurvy and his top surgery scars reopen

my pronouns change based on the phase of the moon, the alignment of the planets, and how many things there are inside me.

why is alien diplomacy in scifi always like "You flared your left nostril for 2.3 seconds the Golbiriens have taken this is a declaration of war" like if i was talking to an alien and it punted me clean in the clit id be like "i believe something was lost in translation here, no offense taken"

man i wish i had a dick for a lot of reasons but a big one is being able to jork my shit without having to put down a towel and go fuckin shower afterward fuck this

when you start hangin out more and your fuckbuddy becomes a fuckfriend :)

Guy who's favourite movie is Boss Baby watching another film: "Getting some Boss Baby vibes from this but I wish it was way more like Boss Baby."

i hate it when invasive species are adorable, like sorry little man you're so cute but you must perish

well attack says helicopter's pronouns are attack/helicopter, I'm not very good at neopronouns but attack deserves the basic amount of dignity I'm sure attack shows to others.

Making a new game it's a fantasy RPG where you actually have an RPG.

writing porn and learning a lot about parts of the penis