I also live in DC and can attest that a giant creature straight out of the Alien movies crawled out of the gutter in front of our house and swallowed up my 5 children. Thankfully SuperTrump swooped down and saved them from the belly of the beast!!

I'm naturally inclined to marry rich and lounge on my sofa, no bad back for me, sorry poor people!!

This is what I voted for!! No BAD NEWS EVER!!! Life will be sooooo great!! Now if only I could get my fucking kids to stop talking back to me!

Nothing says 4th of July like having my hot hubby light fireworks to torment our dog!!

Pride's over bitches!!! www.rawstory.com/trump-and-ev...

Kegsbreath bringing the FIRE and making momma moist!! Give it to me, war fighter!! Hit me with your B52 bomber and obliterate me completely!!

Trump also invented the motto "Bottomless Mimosa Brunch" (although I think it meant something different to him), much to the happiness of all us trad wives in da burbs!

Ohhhh the new Hunger Games looks good!! The drag queens are in charge!!

Yeah!! I can ditch the meth pipe and go back to huffing asbestos again!! I was worried I would have to find sensible daycare for once! The kids are gonna be alright!

Happy Pride everyone!! www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-...

Oh that's good, I'm gonna use that on my kids, "I'll make a decision in two weeks whether to give you an allowance!"

Oh I can't wait to use this on my maid and grounds crew and all my servants when they try to ask for a raise or a day off!! "I will destroy your life!!" www.mediaite.com/media/news/t...

BREAKING: Kristi Noem Taken to Hospital With Allergic Reaction after someone handed her a copy of the US Constitution! www.mediaite.com/media/news/j...

Only Republican mothers, like myself, are role models for our children!!

my love language

Welcome to the stage, Michael Taint...yet another disgusting drag queen sexual assaulting unsuspecting fans!! www.yahoo.com/news/christi...

Hey y'all, for a limited time only, I am selling the Trump locket. I proudly wear it around my neck, it's where I store my integrity, honesty, principles, sexual discretion, sincerity, moral clarity, and self-restraint. Order now and it comes with an industrial vat of pancake makeup!

We are an ASS family...take that any way you like!

Can Carney come to my house for Thanksgiving when I need to shut down drunk uncle??

Caitlyn Jenner is looking FAB!!!

I don't allow Candace Cameron movies in my house because they seem to open a portal to my back door that my husband cannot get enough of! Fire in the hole! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!

I applaud this...I screen my podcast audience the same way...no fats, no fems, no asians, and certainly no haters!!

There is nothing better than some good ole Southern BBQ!!

Exactly! It's like I think something happened 10 years ago where Confederate swag was suddenly seen as racist. Come'on y'all, I look hot in my Confederate tankini!!

To be fair, Hurricane Season to me has always been the three weeks at the end of every year I spend trashed at Pat O'Briens in the French Quarter drowning my sorrows in sweet potent nectar to absolve myself of all my previous sins!

Those sick drag queens are after our children again!!! Happy Fucking Pride! www.kltv.com/2025/05/27/p...

Stop being POOR and if you can't, just DIE already!! Thank you Joni for doing God's work!!

The ketamine wore off, time for a quick nap at my fav watering hole on my fav fun bags!! Wake me when you're done!! #DMForTitsAndNudes

Happy Humpday bitches!! Momma put the kids down for a looooong nap and she's jumped on the ketamine train!! Come drink with me!! #DMForKAndNudes

My 4 brat children: Mom, you promised us a well-balance breakfast this morning! Me: Hey kids, there's a lot going on in the world. Here's a sucker, get sucking!

When will Joy Division step up to the plate and add some fun to our lives????

NOOOOOORM!!!! Momma's drowning herself in a bottle of tequila as she loses another idol! Who can watch the kids for me?!?! #DMForDirectionsAndNudes

I gladly snatched up my season tix for the fam to the new Kennedy Center lineup! Finally we can watch wholesome content that does not include Ru Paul castagays or low rent drag queens trying to do lady face! Come thru Mrs. Doubtfire!! www.kennedy-center.org/whats-on/sea...

Once Jesus is out of the basement, he can then control the air space affectively!! Jesus will rule the skies!! Seethe and copy liberal bitches!!

James Comey found the shells my kids put together. I was teaching them to count to 10. They aren't the brightest kids, some say they take after their mother!!

I bedazzled my own sweater!! I think it's giving General Mom vibes! Discuss!

Mike Lee makes me so wet and horny...there I said it!! I'm going to DM him to see if he wants to make some content for my OFs!!! Wish me luck!! The rent is due and momma's gotta work HARD for the $$$!!

I sweat to the oldies trying to achieve the perfect Trumpian body! And I have filed many a complaint to Revlon that they do not have the Trump foundation. #BringOnTheOreosAndCheetos

Great things about having kids: Custom drawings by request. “Show us your dreams for the future!" (He claims this is us snorkeling. I've sent him for electroshock treatment!)

OMG they are NOT suspending due process, they are suspending Habeas Corpus, some Greek illegal alien!! Calm your big hair down!!

I wana negotiate a trade deal between Nutlick and my nether regions!! Come on in Howie, the water's warm!!!

Having as much cardio sex as I can Dr Oz!!! Hard out here for a forty year, er I mean 35 year old!! Come on hot guys, single or otherwise, help momma stay healthy!!!! #DMForNudes

Like Newark, Momma's in a blackout today!! Hello Friday! Who can watch my kids while Momma's in her happy place??? Anyone, anyone?? #DMForNudes

Welcum to the new Holy Communion bitches!! The mass after party is gonna be LIT!!!

The new body of Christ at Mass people!! Get into it, deeeeeep into it!! Lawd have mercy!!

Yeah, Petey has a drinking buddy!! His wife will be happy that Judge Jeanine will keep his eye from wandering! I mean, he would NEVER jump on the judge!! Would he???

Momma gives the milk away for free!! #DMForNudes

And here I thought Pete was a bottom with a name like BUTTigieg! What do I know?? Thank u Pope Trump for setting the record straight, I mean gay!!

God love Nancy Mace, reminding people everywhere that women too like to squat and take a big ole fat dump!! Thank u Nanc!!

We definitely need to start arresting men for pulling out!! Momma is making babies people!! Fill me up!