You ever have a very different day than you woke up expecting?

I just know this guy can hacky sack

(2026, dark alley) Me: hey, man, you got the stuff Dark Figure; I might, but only if you got money Me: (shoves $6 billion credits in a bag at him, the price of a hot dog) Him: (slips me a thumb drive with the real unemployment data)

applying for jobs again

Seriously, you could lose your job to a Soundcloud rapper if musicians can't earn a living wage bsky.app/profile/leem...

basically every 2024 truism is dead. Trump did not build a lasting multiracial coalition or turn young men into committed Republicans. You don’t need to cave on trans rights to win. The pundits have nothing left to tell you.

And at the end of the day, LA went 73% yes lmao

The people have spoken and they violated the TOS.

Best world series of my life, just undeniably incredible. Not beating the allegations of most random-number generatory sport, but still Fireworks going nuts out here in the valley

Ooooooooooooo Smith!!!

the horseless head man

The double play was great. the dead ball, esoteric and correct as if designed in a lab to make you lose your mind

I did NOT approve this.

Bodyweight on the bar for squats by the end of year was my original strength goal, and it's happening like two months early lol

Been there

It is a moral failing to root for the Dodgers if you are not from Los Angeles, almost as severe as the moral failing of being from Los Angeles.

Who has the Ohtani tweet from a billion internet years ago

got one of those haunted cameras that pops out a photo of how you die. pretty fun to mess around with for a while but apparently doesn't work for selfies. just always spits out a photo of me holding the haunted camera

colorado pretends they have a pepper-growing rivalry with new mexico much in the same way that children will try on their parents’ clothes

Telling moment: I was walking back from the rally, but a couple miles from it, carrying nothing but my gigantic American flag. An eight year old on his bike sees me with it and yells "No Kings!!" with absolute conviction. My friends, they have lost the flag.

I do not regret to inform you that like 30 people just walked out of the nursing home by my apartment holding no kings/no fascists signs Just put the toddler down for his nap so I'm going to head out in a couple

Ohtani hat trick!

Whole lot of dodgers hats on skeletons in front yards in this neighborhood

Probably best to chase it indefinitely

I think he eventually gets to some speculative future humanism that is just as bonkers but with better prose than max tegmark

Coffee shop labelling its matcha "Shrek's ashes"

Hop yeah

Everything they do is an attempt to bait a TOS violation

Toddler napping, go on a bike ride!

Ladies and gentlemen, we did it. SB 79 has been signed.

Okay this is a good headline

Chris Cornell's lab of Ornithology

no kings but the no ice but the

I try to mostly follow people on LinkedIn who are unafraid to shitpost on main

Looking four blocks north from MB

Button up your windows and turn on your air filters, LA, this is bad.

Teen Vogue.

Under my administration we captured 3 gray aliens and 2 green

In honor of Eric Adams dropping out, I'm now resharing my all-time favorite bit of Eric Adams content for years, this thing was like my video from The Ring, where I had to get other people to watch it in order for me to stay alive enjoy www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk2W...

Well don't I feel stupid

the joke is the historical inaccuracies

Diagnosis is plantar fasciitis, from not engaging my posterior tibialis when I run. Machine says "over strider collapser", and gave a bunch of drills and I learned how to use a muscle that I didn't know existed. Return to run is going but I still have a bunch of form problems.

Lowering the flags on 9/11 at the Guantanamo Bay McDonald's for Charlie Kirk is the most dril tweet thing that's ever happened

This is correct, one hobby. I bought a Nintendo switch two years ago thinking "when the baby is born, I can play Zelda when he sleeps". I still haven't beat it.

Can confirm, I've got a toddler and we're regularly at the parks in the valley, they were dead for weeks, and they are back