BREAKING: PWHL Las Vegas has announced that they are using their EFO on the Ottawa Charge's name. Going forward, PWHL Las Vegas will be the Las Vegas Charge, while Ottawa will need to hope for a new name in the entry draft.

BREAKING: PWHL San José has hired Toronto Sceptres coach Troy Ryan to be their new head coach and general manager. Wait, what? That can't be right? Why would they do that though? Disregard this post.

BREAKING: The PWHL has issued a correction to its expansion process. During the Waxing Gibbous phase, players with birthdays before July 1 will only be allowed to sign with teams that have fewer letters than the player's full government names. This clarification should reduce much of the confusion.

BREAKING: PWHL sources have stated that expansion is on hold following the discovery that the planned expansion has adopted quantum mechanics. Several cities have threatened to sue the PWHL if they don't get a team, because reading the expansion document would change the expansion city results.

BREAKING: A PWHL source has leaked that 3 games will be played tonight - VAN@MTL 7pm EDT, MIN@NY 7pm EDT, and finally TOR@OTT at 9:30pm EDT, with the 9:30pm game being played as a Takeover Tour game in Calgary.

BREAKING: Multiple sources have confused a Chicago PWHL takeover tour game with an official announcement of a team in Chicago. Countless fans are threatening to riot upon hearing the wildly unfounded reports.

BREAKING: According to league sources, your favorite SDHL player has just signed with your least favorite PWHL team.

BREAKING: Immediately following a huge comeback win featuring two goals with the goalie pulled, Boston Fleet coach Kris Sparre announced his intention to start Tuesday's game against Toronto with both goalies on the bench.

BREAKING: Just so you have on background- no attribution to me or the league.. here are some updates- PWHL latest proposal includes: -a salary cap increased in line with the existing CBA -an average salary in line with the existing CBA -puppies available at walk-ins for all games

BREAKING: Following serious injuries to several high profile Olympians, the PWHL has filed a lawsuit with the Court of Arbitration for Sport to abolish the Olympic winter games. The IOC and the IIHF have responded with a countersuit demanding that the PWHL immediately apologize for their "guff."

BREAKING: After at least 3 games in a row wearing a normal tie, fans and league employees alike are concerned that David Korzeniowski's lack of bowties is a cry for help. David, if you need help, blink 4 times in a row.

BREAKING: In an attempt to restore competitive balance to the league, the PWHL will be requiring @pwhlfleet.bsky.social goalie Aerin Frankel to wear her leg pads on her arms, and her blocker/glove on her feet, for Friday's game against the Frost.

BREAKING: According to a PWHL media source, the @pwhlfleet.bsky.social will announce an outdoor Frigate Series game to be hosted on the deck of the USS Constitution. Players will have to adapt to a new set of challenges, with masts and halyards creating an exciting experience for players and fans.

BREAKING: A Montréal Victoire source is reporting that forward Laura Stacey is demanding an immediate trade, citing too many difficulties with their roommate and living situation. Sports superfan Marcus did not respond to a request for comment.

BREAKING: PWHL announces intention to "shadow drop" the 2025-2026 season schedule an hour before the first game of the season begins.

BREAKING: PWHL to announce partnership Friday with Sprague Cannery. The Ontario-based Sprague Cannery will be creating a custom PWHL baked bean flavor with a collectible can, while PWHL will be adding Sprague's logo to the back of every jersey, and featuring baked bean stands at every game.

BREAKING: PWHL goalie rankings have been released. Upon investigation, it appears that the writer's methodology was to add up the jersey numbers of the top two goalies for each team and use that to rank the teams.

BREAKING: PWHL has announced a second expansion draft for Seattle and Vancouver. The draft will be two rounds, and teams will be able to initially protect a single player, followed by a second player after losing one. Teams will not be allowed to protect their 2025 first or second round draft picks.

BREAKING: According to a PWHL source, a secret CBA provision requires that free agents sign any offer sheet that PWHL Vancouver puts in front of them. This will allow PWHL Vancouver to acquire a huge amount of talent without going over the salary cap.

BREAKING: According to PWHL Insider Ian Kennedy, "An older player, own rights 2 years, looking past the future, where the draft pick until contract is difficult."

BREAKING: A PWHL source has revealed that Vancouver and Seattle will each be getting 4 first round draft picks in the upcoming 2025 new player draft to ensure that no other teams have any chance whatsoever to have a first round draft pick from any year on their roster in 2025-2026.

BREAKING: In a surprise move, @pwhl--vancouver.bsky.social has made a trade with @pwhl--seattle.bsky.social. Vancouver receives defender Jessica Adolfsson from Seattle for future considerations. Adolfsson delivered 1 hit in 45 seconds of ice time in one game for Ottawa in 2024-2025.

BREAKING @pwhl--seattle.bsky.social have made the first exclusive free agent period addition of the 2025 expansion by signing Ottawa defender Jessica Adolfsson to a 2 year contract. Adolfsson appeared in 1 game for Ottawa and logged 1 hit in 45 seconds of ice time.

BREAKING: According to Ian Kennedy, in addition to Boston planning to draft Ottawa's assistant coach Haley Irwin, Montreal intends to draft Courtney Kessel to play with her sister-in-law Amanda Kessel

BREAKING: A PWHL source has confirmed that the lack of specific information on the expansion draft is the result of "[having] no plan whatsoever, we're literally just winging this. This is actually really complicated, who knew?"

BREAKING: A PWHL source has leaked the player protection lists ahead of tomorrow's official announcement. Is anyone really surprised with these picks?

BREAKING: Contrary to rumors surrounding Cara Gardner being appointed to the position, a PWHL source has confirmed that the Moderator Team of the Unofficial PWHL Discord Server (discord.gg/pwhl) will GM PWHL Vancouver by committee. PWHL is hoping to drive fan engagement with this controversial move.

BREAKING: Just look at this cake! From www.instagram.com/p/DJ4uJmCybU...

BREAKING: Expansion draft protection lists released. A PWHL source says, "We spent weeks determining the best way to make existing fans miserable by making it impossible to protect all of their favorite players. We want new hockey fans to learn early the cruel realities of professional sports."

BREAKING: Toronto Sceptres and New York Sirens to remove the plural "s" from their team name for the 2025-2026 season to align with 21st century hockey team naming conventions. "Plural names are dated and we want the legitimacy of singular nouns." The Sceptre and Siren look forward to the change.

BREAKING: Minnesota Frost to change primary color to light blue for 2025-2026 season to better fit the PWHL's green/red/blue branding. A PWHL source states, "We want fans to have trouble telling our teams apart" #PWHL #PWHLSeattle

BREAKING: A league source is reporting that PWHL Vancouver will be signing John Tortorella as the head coach, with Peter Laviolette and Rick Tocchet having other roles in the organization. "We expect him to bring great energy to the locker room and foster a positive environment" #PWHL #PWHLVancouver

BREAKING: Wednesday's "Special Event" at Climate Pledge Arena confirmed to be "spring cleaning" event, open to the public, where arena fans can get firsthand experience cleaning an arena. #PWHL #Seattle #PWHLSeattle

BREAKING: A League-adjacent source who wishes to remain anonymous is reporting that an unspecified team coach is "a huge dick" and has "ruined [her] team."

BREAKING: An insider source at PWHL has hinted that they are considering Vancouver for an expansion team in the next year or two. No official word yet, but rumors are swirling that PWHL may finally make an announcement in early May.

BREAKING: According to an insider source, the current rumors of a Vancouver expansion team are false, and the PWHL remains committed to adding two more PWHL teams to the New York City metropolitan area for the 2025-2026 season.

BREAKING: According to Ian Kennedy, 20 separate universities have declared for the PWHL draft. The PWHL has remained conspicuously silent as to whether or not a university would be permitted to be drafted, although one unnamed GM stated that a university would have terrific on-ice presence.

BREAKING: Following a report from extremely reputable source VIRAL BB, Ottawa goaltender Emerance Maschmeyer is "devastated" upon learning that her spouse, Geneviève Lacasse, has been secretly married to fellow Team Canada goaltender Ann-Renée Desbiens. We see no need to fact check this ourselves.

BREAKING: After spending time in Prague with Ottawa teammate Tereza Vanišová, Charge and Team USA goalie Gwyneth Philips has announced her intention to forgo the remainder of her PWHL contract and remain in Czechia. Sources claim a "particularly delicious Svíčková" was a key factor in her decision.

BREAKING: Congrats Cammie!!!!!!!!

BREAKING: A PWHL source has confirmed that there is currently no breaking news to report. A second league source who did not want to be named confirmed, "We have no breaking news on expansion, or any other topic, at this time."

BREAKING: According to a PWHL insider source, PWHL has hired Maryna Viazovska to determine playoff clinching scenarios for each team for the remainder of the season. The Fields Medal winning Ukrainian mathematician stated that she "looks forward to the challenge that has eluded so many."

BREAKING: League sources report that a press conference announcing anticipated new expansion teams will be held later today. The press conference will be held in the parking lot of Curbz Landscaping in East York.

EXPANSION CORRECTION: Due to a miscommunication, we erroneously reported that there would be two New York expansion teams. There will be one NYC expansion team, and the other will be based in Manhattan, Kansas, and play in Kansas City. PWHL has filed for trademark on "Manhattan Skyscrapers".

Merchandise Update: Feeling that their merchandise is "too available" to fans right now, the PWHL online shop will be relocating to Tonga and only shipping to Micronesia going forward. They will also be cutting production in half for all new items, except for collaborations selling for over $300USD

BREAKING: Following last night's win over Boston, a PWHL source has reported that Emma Maltais is facing a suspension for the remainder of the season after testing positive for HGH. League officials became suspicious after Maltais claimed to be 5'2" but was later measured at 5'3".

EXPANSION CONFIRMED: A PWHL GM who wishes to remain anonymous has confirmed that the league will be adding two more teams in New York.