BREAKING: Donald Trump requested London mayor Sadiq Khan be excluded from the state banquet because he is a “disaster on immigration”. As mayor, Khan has no powers over immigration, but what Trump meant to say was that Khan is brown and Muslim and he doesn’t like that x

This warmed my heart x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/trump-attends-palace-banquet-to-reminisce

this is outrageous x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/un-commission-claims-israel-is-committing

They're making me beam with pride x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/patriots-celebrate-taking-are-cuntry

They're making me beam with pride x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/patriots-celebrate-taking-are-cuntry

BREAKING: The police have confirmed they won't be charging any of the violent far-right rioters with terrorism because they only do that for grandmas in wheelchairs who hold up signs they don't like ♥️

Fantastic news! A bunch of patriots just crayoned red crosses around my neighbourhood and pissed against a lamp post and now all the foreign nurses who keep the NHS running have fled the UK to get away from these idiots. I think we've got our country back 😭😭😭

this story contains no plot holes whatsoever https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/here-is-exactly-how-tyler-robinson

If I've got this right, we're no longer saying Charlie Kirk's killer is a far-right groyper who was turned in by his sheriff father. We're now saying he was living with his gamer friends and was turned in by his transgender partner. It's hard to keep up, isn't it? x

this story contains no plot holes whatsoever https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/here-is-exactly-how-tyler-robinson

I'm not American so I don't know much about Charlie Kirk, but one thing I have learned over the past two days is that if you post about him, you get an awful lot of death threats from the people who oppose political violence ♥️

I'm confused, Charlie's killer was supposed to be a radical Marxist transgender Islamist, but now they're saying he was a Trump-supporting Mormon conservative boy whose family taught him responsible gun ownership while he was growing up. I can't keep up! x

Huge congratulations to Ben Shapiro, someone who would never question Israel, on taking the reins of Turning Point from Charlie Kirk, someone who was starting to question Israel ♥️

When someone is assassinated and then someone immediately pipes up to say "I didn't assassinate him", that is the least suspicious thing they could possibly do ♥️

I believe him x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/netanyahu-confirms-he-did-not-assassinate

it's only right x www.normalisland.co.uk/p/lets-mourn-for-charlie-kirk-like http://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/lets-mourn-for-charlie-kirk-like

BREAKING: The people who are calling for an "end to political violence" are clarifying that they will not be ending their political violence in Gaza x

Netanyahu tweeting about Charlie Kirk moments before his death could only be less suspicious if Trump announced he had found Iranian passports at the scene 👀

He was definitely killed by Mossad, wasn't he?

it's only right x www.normalisland.co.uk/p/lets-mourn-for-charlie-kirk-like http://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/lets-mourn-for-charlie-kirk-like

Mourning for Charlie Kirk like he mourned for the children of Gaza 😭😭😭

BREAKING: Keir Starmer somehow comes up with the one thing that will make him less popular than he already is x

BREAKING: Israel has launched a drone strike on the secret residence of the graffiti artist known as Banksy. Foreign secretary Yvette Cooper has apologised unequivocally for Banksy's "terrorist artwork" and thanked Israel for the bombing ♥️

BREAKING: David Lammy has explained he cannot declare that Israel is committing genocide because he would be admitting that he has been helping Israel commit genocide x

just ignore the footage, okay? x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/israel-confirms-flotilla-boat-exploded

BREAKING: Israel has explained it had no choice but to kill the Hamas negotiators in Qatar, due to the serious risk they were about to accept the latest ceasefire proposals x

just ignore the footage, okay? x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/israel-confirms-flotilla-boat-exploded

BREAKING: Israel has explained a fire started on one of the Freedom Flotilla boats because someone dropped a cigarette, that someone being an Israeli drone, and that cigarette being a bomb. Don't worry though, it only counts as terrorism when Muslims do it x

BREAKING: Israel's highest court has ruled that Israel is not providing Palestinians with enough food, forcing us to the chilling conclusion that Israel's highest court is now Hamas 👀

BREAKING: Home secretary Shabana Mahmoud demands that police take robust action to protect the public from terrorism, including shooting wheelchair and walking stick users on sight x

BREAKING: Israel has explained that it accidentally bombed a bus carrying women and children and then accidentally opened fire on rescuers when they arrived x

He is the greatest undercover agent of all time x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/heroic-donald-trump-confirms-he-was

this is terrifying x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/hamas-uk-leader-rev-sue-parfitt-has

BREAKING: The White House is now admitting that Trump was at Epstein's rape parties, but only so he could act as an FBI informant and save the children. No, I'm not making this up! These people are impossible to satirise. I quit 😭😭😭

he's a monster x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/jeremy-corbyn-under-fire-after-disgracefully

He is the greatest undercover agent of all time x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/heroic-donald-trump-confirms-he-was

BREAKING: The White House is now admitting that Trump was at Epstein's rape parties, but only so he could act as an FBI informant and save the children. No, I'm not making this up! These people are impossible to satirise. I quit 😭😭😭

BREAKING: Israel has explained that it accidentally bombed a bus carrying women and children and then accidentally opened fire on rescuers when they arrived x

he's a monster x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/jeremy-corbyn-under-fire-after-disgracefully

Can anyone help? We're getting desperate! https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/urgent-smear-needed-to-bring-down

Can anyone help? We're getting desperate! https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/urgent-smear-needed-to-bring-down

BREAKING: In his latest bid to win over the public and show he is a man of the people, Sir Keir Starmer has revealed that at weekends he likes to paint crosses on roundabouts and shout at hotels x

BREAKING: The government has held an emergency meeting to see how it can avoid acknowledging that the 500-member International Association of Genocide Scholars has declared there is a genocide in Gaza 👀

I think I'm gonna be sick x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/huge-confusion-in-uk-as-man-with

I think I'm gonna be sick x https://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/huge-confusion-in-uk-as-man-with

BREAKING: In his latest bid to win over the public and show he is a man of the people, Sir Keir Starmer has revealed that at weekends he likes to paint crosses on roundabouts and shout at hotels x

BREAKING: The government has held an emergency meeting to see how it can avoid acknowledging that the 500-member International Association of Genocide Scholars has declared there is a genocide in Gaza 👀

Poor Melania x www.normalisland.co.uk/p/melania-in-mourning-after-president http://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/melania-in-mourning-after-president

Poor Melania x www.normalisland.co.uk/p/melania-in-mourning-after-president http://www.normalisland.co.uk/p/melania-in-mourning-after-president

Americans are going to be absolutely distraught if their fears about President Trump prove to be correct and he is in fact still alive 😳