It is a cute little routine where I spend like an hour writing some story at night. Skipped a few when I don't feel well but wrote plenty already. Though, this whole chunk was made up on a whim so the writing felt pretty poor for my standard. (My audiences just want gay fat men interaction, I know)

I feel bad for american friend when I said "I wish I could leave sooner" not cause of them, it was many other negative factor I won't get in... and mosty cause I want to get back to the class asap. I'm missing out already so much.

It barely counts that many but I already stopped being able to memorize everyone's reference and way they want to be treated. I have been split into so many that it's hard to keep track and I'm having hard time staying in lane of one but not for another. It's hard being split everywhere.

I keep desiring for an oc that is muscular, like I'm talking one big hunk of muscle. But with the way I treat them and the fate they have to go through... they will end up being the fat one. In fact, the supposed top-heavy fella became the fattest of the bunch. Welp, time for another victim heheh.

My lower back is demolished, my hands and feet all cold, my stomach growls loudly, my lips dry, my arms shivering. What more could it be? Who knows, but a lot of these can be resolved soon. For now though... just vibing.

I keep thinking about being bloated so big that your form is now unrecognizable and all of you left is one big round creaking belly.

I think it's to be expected, but I may have fallen into the gacha furs area and I kind of can't get pass it. I don't exactly play all of them, but I like them lots from games I don't even attend. They are so attractive.. and cool, one way or another. And then there many outside, too.

New year, hm? Now that I'm finally calm down and passed the post-stress period, I can form thoughts and got things to confess. No worry, I will keep it short. (Thread - 5 parts)

Supposedly already new year'd like hours ago, but since I went so far ahead of time that the days clocked backward. Thus it still not new year for my current location. To be real, I feel like I accomplished things I can't even share and it's not what I want. All simply up by fate to what I did.

Ayup, more weird things to share in my mind. Kinda in a weird scenario where you be rocking that armour except it's really heavy that makes you clunkily moving around while being hefty and stuff. Now imagine that but with lots of body fat...

I was christmas-gifted something... with some of my finance combined, I got myself a Switch 2. Never thought I would get it this soon, but what can I do than say thank you and appriciate em a lot.

I had a dream, and it made me happy simply cause I get to be with one of my oc, specificly DrakeDown (crocodilian). I think that just how I feel when I read Housamo, I just want to be with someone I know and like. Then whatever situation, my smile is on it.

Lots of thoughts inside me, but I can never write them down enough without starting to get way too annoying. I'm just too shy to barge in anyone for it. I thought of throwing it in story but the setting is never right, and leading up to it already drives me off such thoughts.

There actually funny quirk of mine. It is that I hold guilt longer than people hold their anger at me. In fact, I just... hoard them... in fact, it could get pretty bad that I might just take them with me even onward.

I think I'm just suffering from being overwhelmed of culture and everything else. When all you want is rest and nothingness, then get solved with even more stuff. How's that feel? Just trying to shut that valve off cause I had enough. It's all dreaded feeling.

The vibe I posess would probably be described by "feel". And it is not vibe for it being too upbeat, not chill for it's still relaxing. It feels either like a hollow echoing shell, or a tense rushing feel, or glorious uprising songs. Requires no lyrics, just melodies tell thousands words.

I do have simps for characters that aren't fat or hyper muscular. Either it comes down to look, some for personality, but also some that looks handsome if drawn by any artists out there. Yet some just doesn't exist and it saddens me. Gotta add to the fray myself.

Thought I could get a new screen protector for my phone. Turns out the screen inside cracked heavily. Whoops, guess a little less than 1 meter height of drop onto an inox faucet was enough to crack it bad. That means every bad things come a good thing, and soon will it be.

So basically, all of the old site and bsky argument/hesitation I heard are that all they care is money and fame. They all sound like they lost dignity of their art just to make some sales and fame to interact w people. I'm tired, no one understands bsky.

Woke up due to chronical stomachache, came out and the cat immidiately came bumped into me. This fella been liking me but my parents really not liking it. Too bad, kitty. I gotta get back to bed now, fella. It's too early in the morning.

"How's that, like the view, small fella?" The red dragon approached you while looming tall, menacingly yet tease you in a cocky manner. This man, DanDorDion, sure got some attitudes. (I couldn't figure out the background so this will do)

All and all, still another year I don't think I cherish much. As most of he time spent on working with irl stuff while I left all my own stuff untouched. Even get pretty overwhelmed this year to the point I can't bear talking to people and needed time off for my poor overstimulated brain.

Now that I have done some thinking, I kinda come up with a Housamo oc... well, at least the rule and the role part of it. Here's my own pitch (that comes from me): -Role: Truth Bender, bend any fact into truth, even if undecided -Rule: Uncertainty, unable to confidently claim anything, always right

Sometimes when I'm in public place, the last thing I notice would be myself. I kind of treat myself as like just watching a video of people hanging out and my presence sometimes not there. And then my physical body is just a camera man thing where I can adjust the angle and conversation to hear.

I was given a $10 scratch ticket as a present, scratched and actually got $15 out of that. Shouldn't have used my nail to scratch it, but worth the extra money I get from all of that.

Yeah, I'm grumpy that it's christmas, what to do about it? Yeah, I'm also grumpy cause I need to get my work done despite I'm on vacation, what more do I do about it? Yeah, I'm grumpy cause I just woke up and still half asleep, what else must I do? I'm just hard to work with, and no one likes it.

Perhap I just never learnt how to go greet people, so I never advance onward within any circle. Sort of forever be in the branch of the circle as I always have been. Yet sometimes, I'm just too scared to be in the middle as it gets hectic for me. Nowhere else is great, guess I just stay still.

It is so demoralizing when you are on vacation but the only thing in your mind is all about work and you longings to finish all your stuff. While I brought majority of my pc setup here, I just can't bring myself to work on it confidently or able to get in the zone. Such a mood killer.

You know, the fact that I keep losing knowledge and out of touch of things in life just because I lose out on people hurts. It's like I only learn things through another people and once they close on me, I'm forever done with it and don't get to know more of them.

Here comes another weird mood, a bloated belly... as usual, but now to imagine them so big that it pushes your back while watching them mountaining your body shape and dominating the view. Could probably rest them onto the table as well, and watch em churns and groans.

Sometimes I don't expect strokes to be perfect on my art, for my stubborness of avoiding stablizer usage. But I do atnminimum expect to throw out shapes a little more consistent quality even if it is just a doodle. For you can tell either I get it terribly wrong, messy or clean and correct.

It's a common sight for me to wake up at 3 am just because I dipped too early last night. Now I don't even want to sleep, but at the same time it's better if I do so.

And so often time, I kind of rely on people coming to me and form a connection... or have me being introduced around. That just how I be, left afloat in the middle of the river of life. Takes me wherever, for I have no destiny than a journey to cherish.

You know, it is ever so slightly disheartening when I did great on my work and I was overheard that the tutor congratulated our work wonderfully. Sadly, I was not able to show up to hear all those words and directly witness everyone's reaction. And what more, tutor specificly congratulated at me.

You know, I never understood the role that conditioner would do in the world of bathing until now. For most of my life spent near the sea or at least considerable distance from the great ocean. Thus the air always moist... Not where I'm at though, stupid desert.

I was writing the story as usual, but I got so carried away that I almost made it nsfw. I might have to trim that off afterward... and maybe kept it somewhere else just for me...

Thinking about strawberry banana smoothie again, that thing bloat me like crazy. Noting that down, probably forcefeeding my fellas with them too.

Back in business with the mood for inflation, except I can't draw any of it right now than probably canonly make my ocs do inflation as a fun gag. Just gotta get em helium tank and now the two creaking like balloons.

I truely am just exist like a spirit floating through the emptiness. For I'm either too scared to approach people or often try to give myself more exposure for others. Ultimately result in distanced feel amongst lots of other artists and people out there. Do approach if you desire, I'm just boring.

I thought I saw my belly sagged when I looked at the mirror, turns out it was the crease (is that what it's called?) along my underbelly that gave suchh illusion. Imagine how happy I would imagine myself seeing a belly that sags so low and wide, lots of jiggling and squish.

Jetlag still persists, even though I slept twice. It's like noon here and I felt like its already midnight with the sleepiness in me.

I have been sent across the world. I slept at 7 and woke up at 7 of the same evening cause that's how timezone works during travel. Yeah, awkward where I just had a night sleep, now I'm sleeping another night already.

Barely got thr work done, it's 3 am soon and we leaving at 9 am. I only just finished half of the workload that needed visual effects. Good god, I haven't even packed my shit. And it's about time to go. What miserable life of me to be worked even beyond my free time, even into vacation time soon.

I forgot just how many times literally any ad0b3 apps can crash per hour. It had got to the point every 2 clicks, Ctrl S, just to be sure cause I had enough of it dragging me back from doing the most basic thing. Time's crunching, pulling up Housamo chapter 15 battle theme on loop to get me going.

Probably won't have much time of myself-time, so thinking of what goal I want in 2026...: -Stop taking promises, cause I know I will stress myself out over it -Just take care of myself WHEN I can, there is not enough me-time for long enough -Stay sane -Oh and prob do a lil Ragnir x Imugi shipping

I'm kind of just so overworked today, probably stressed too, that I can feel my stomah tingling and could be vomit anytime. Good day indeed.

And there be the next two doodles I got in while free time. Probably the last few arts before few weeks of no stuff for vacation.

I tried sneaking one more in but I'm so unhappy with the result, would scrap this so this is all you will have for now. Will come back to this idea of his, but now isn't the time.

Oh... I underestimated the amount of work I have to pack it done before Saturday. And since I have to be the main guy that works on heavy lifting (aka important stuff) for the projectS, that is way too much for me. Oh and prepare luggages too, ughhh I can't have time to think.

Oh my social battery is dead dead. I can't feel like speaking, throat been acheing or something I just couldn't speak properly. Couldn't feel like wanting to form proper sentenses and can't spare any hospitality. I really am desperately need alone time.