These are the best canned pears I've ever had, as far as I can remember.

Once again, I am forced to ask, why do I bother telling you in detail what you need to know when you're not going to bother reading my email?

The leg brace is surprisingly comfortable. The cushioning is ample, and the velcro is adjustable-- not just for tightness but location, so I can customize it around my protrusions. The only problem is getting used to it and trying not to hyperextend my knee again.

Need to think of some sarcastic answers for when people ask me why I'm at work with a leg brace. "Tried jumping my motorcycle over 18 flaming school buses." "Tried jumping my motorcycle over seven screaming dizbusters." "Can't talk about it per court order, but you shoulda seen the other guy."

We're in that awkward part of the year when it's too early to wake up but too late to go back to sleep.

Velcro makes things like ankle braces more useful, but the velcro straps tend to get caught on each other, making the process more difficult. We need retractable straps

Odd that Saints of the Underground are suddenly trending 18 years later. #sotu www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9al...

I wonder if corvids look at other birds and have their own word for monkey for them.

Because the band Asia has a tradition of titling most of their albums with words that begin and end with A, I'm surprised they've never released an album called A Cappella.

I think my phone is just fudging with me at this point. First time I picked it up this morning, browser was on the Wikipedia page I was reading last night. Then it spontaneously refreshed to a page I was reading last week-- not just back one screen but back a dozen. Why?

Remember Eddie Haskell from Leave It To Beaver? An insufferable knowitall & sycophant who always had to have an answer and would insert himself into any conversation just to show how smart & helpful he was. If he did not know the answer, he would just make some spit up. AI is Eddie Haskell.

Terrific. Put that button on this effing screen. @webdevs.firefox.com @firefoxperformance.bsky.social @firefoxbeta.bsky.social @mozilla.org @mozilla.ai @mozillanewproducts.bsky.social

One of my great regrets is that I never got to see Type O Negative in concert, while wearing my green Hawaiian shirt.

I'd love to get back into wearing aloha shirts, especially now that the winter is warming up, but every time I do, Goodwife sends me to Trader Joe's and people assume I work there.

I'm agonna rip the audio from my Jimmy Buffett: Live In Hawaii DVD and the audio from my Type O Negative: Live At Wacken DVD and put them together on a CD for my car.

Harpies are basically air mermaids.

Somebody named Jack Hughes has been trending for the last coupla days. I wonder if he pronounces it "J'accuse!"

I am even more convinced now that A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms is a prequel to The 10th Kingdom.

Dreamed that Frank Sinatra admired and emulated Brian Ferry's style. Dreamed Brian Ferry's actual name was Brian Ferenczik but he changed it because he loved the romantic mystique of commuter boats.

I wonder what cassowary tastes like-- but humans will never know because the birds are invulnerable.

Twisted my knee last weekend. Sitting tightens it & walking loosens it but hurts more after. Advil not helping. Icing not helping. Hot tub feel good until I get out. May need professional help, maybe Theodoric Of York, barber surgeon, for a leeching.

Bikini Biathlon

The term "fudge" is sometimes used as a tv-broadcastable substitute for the work "fuck." You knock over a hubcap full of lugnuts? "Oh, fudge!" But it also has the meaning of something being malleable. "I fudged with the meter on the limerick" also means "fucked with."

This is exactly like a conversation Goodwife and I would have.

Far be it for me to criticize any Olympic athlete for choice of sport. I'll just say I do not understand curling, which has been on for the last week. It does not help that one of the American curlers looks like Kristen Wiig and another looks like Amy Pohler. This is just an SNL skit by default.

Did they somehow overlook that when they removed his titles, his posts, his duties, his residences and his income?

Love the image.

Trigger warning: Ayn Rand

My knee hurts. Rather than ice it, I'll just wear shorts today.

Dreamed something about a jazz musician applying to colleges to major in marimba.

What are they gonna do, fire him?

Oh no! It's going publicize my wenus!

My new job title is Man O'Action.

These antacids are really tasty. They make me wnt to try Necco Wafers.

I was at a picnic with some friends where some champagne got spilled on my lap. I got a yeast infection. Bought some Monistat to treat it. Still have a quarter of the tube left. When I remember who my doctor was, diagnosing the infection, I realize that Monistat is now over 15 years old.

I'm at that awkward age where it is possible to trim my fingernails too long and too short at the same time.

There should be a porno set in a job environment called Hard At Work.

Okay, hear me out... pickleball biathlon.

I don't like finding mold on my food, but if I have to I prefer that it's green, so I can tell, and not white so I wonder if it is flour.

To be fair, this entire nation is a haunted graveyard.

We're barely past St VD and the grocery stores already have the special Easter foods, like the build your own gingerbread Golgatha, with skull-shaped hill and three crosses. Family fun!

You just know the curling champions are going to get Swiffer endorsements.

Okay, hear me out... curling biathlon.

Housemates have been watching Olympic curling. Why don't curlers wear skintight bodysuits like skiers and skaters?

I can pack between 6 and 12 hours of music on a CD for my car. If I don't have room for one more album, I put on individual songs I love so the space is not wasted. On my current mix CD, individual songs take up fully half of the CD.

Experimenting with baking again. Wanted something sweet after dinner, so I decided to make brownies. The box said to add an egg but that seemed weird. I made it without the egg, but I think I'll fry one up over easy and put it on top of my brownie.

There was one sausage left after dinner. Rather than force myself, I decided to save it for breakfast tomorrow. I'll slice it up and put it in my oatmeal. (Peaches and cream.)

Do all petting zoos have fried chicken sandwiches or just the one?

Just wait until the steroid allegations.