Reading a case where the defendant committed.... a *large* number of armed bank robberies, and was sentenced to 8,905 months in prison. That's almost 750 years. Dude is asking for compassionate release...

I would die for Frankie

Seeing the video of Pretti kicking an ice truck tells me that he was known by them, and that they didn't like him. So the execution was premeditated.

This is the BEST explanation I have seen so far.

Ok, but only if the ability to understand a joke, and detect sarcasm is also somehow tested for before allowed to participatein BS ELITE+

This picture should end maga. It won't because magats are crushingly stupid.

You can do it!!

More accurately, She was sprayed, and was stepping forward to beat her assailant's narrow white ass.

Never been more proud of a prosecutor, than I am of Laura Conover

Downfall Bovino Edition. You're welcome.

Is anyone really pumped to cheer for this country at the Olympics?

Sometimes when I'm feeling down I remind myself that the breakdown in "Dead Embryonic Cells" is only ever three minutes and twenty six seconds away. And that's a cheerful thought.

Today I learned that the J D in jd Vance stands for Jorken Depeneus.

Wooooow. Seatle really is un-American commie socialist hippies, the flag for the anthem only covers about 10% of the field.

Just a thought... If there are "ways to make a 3rd term happen"... Obama should run again.

They're scared Because 🍊 can mean tweet them out of office, and they want nothing except to remain in office until they die, or get rich enough to retire to another country. Who knew the abject cowardice of our political class would enable the destruction of our republic? Putin. Putin knew.

Ice executed another person yesterday to distract us from the epstein files.

Fuck ICE Release the Epstein Files Drink water Solidarity

Maine... come get you mans, he totally out of pocket.

I dont even watch my local CBS news anymore. I don't fuck with fascists

Only a monster would schedule a latin quiz on a Friday.

The first place to look would be the mirror Jd. Then maybe check the registry?

If reincarnation is a thing, next time I come back I'm gonna be a crane operator.

I love how nothing brings the vibes up more than speculation that he's kicked it.

Soon

No notes

The Indiana qb just said he'd take back shots for his team.

Look, I don't want to be a doom and gloomer, but has anyone considered that if 🍊 invades Greenland, our supply of Danish Butter cookies will end?

Did you ever notice that you never, ever, receive emails from services/websites you probably only wanted for the free trial, until you cancel your subscription... then they can't send you enough spam.

Bear, and I cannot stress this enough,THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think we need more people trying to impress Jody Foster, and literally no more people trying to impress former WWE wrestlers.

Been watching my Uber eats driver sitting at a restaurant for 17 minutes waiting to pick up someone else's food, with my food getting cold.

Accurate

Today I learned that a Kavanaugh stop is not where you make a quick detour at a drive through liquor store on your way home from a long day of drunkenly erasing civil rights.

Hey, it's me.... from 28 years ago.

Does it feel to anyone else like our current experience is being narrated by Werner Herzog rather than Morgan Freeman?

Thinking about trump's reaction to that dude yelling at him in Michigan... And it reminds me that if you throw a rock into a pile of dogs, the one that yelps is the one that got hit.

Its always a good day to .... youtu.be/ADdpLv3RDhA?...

Im currently the only customer in this Pollo Feliz. The dude who took my order is now assiduously sweeping the floor and spraying off spotless tables. I think they think I'm a secret shopper.

Why is the ABC nightly news man reporting about what Joe Rogan has to say about ice? Is this what journalism is now? I hate it here.

Former Arizona Attorney General, and maga Mark Brnovich has passed away. Unconfirmed reports indicate that he died by autoerotic asphyxiation.

Being in early middle age, I think my favorite part is at the end of the day when I sit down, and my whole body starts to ache, and I wonder if I'm getting the flu, or just getting old.

Breaking on MS NOW: Sen. Mark Kelly is suing Pete Hegseth.

The line for the bears bandwagon starts right here‐--------------------

Just a rhino playing with his dik dik

The colbert interview with Terry Gross tonight was the most beautiful 6 minutes of tv I've ever seen.

Just thinking I'd like to air out an ice chest