I hope this all makes someone so angry that he has a (second) stroke

Went out for a pasta dinner. Came home and had a Carvel Flying Saucer. And now at 11:30pm my blood glucose is 45 and dropping and I feel like crap and I can't go to bed until I get it to start rising again and wheeeeee type 2 diabetes is funnnnnnnnn

"I'm uploading my new SORA-generated video, 'Pocahontas Skipping Rope.' "For purely historical reasons, Pocahontas is topless because the Powhatan people traditionally dres..."

I need to set up an estate account in order to deposit a small check we just received from my father's old union (he died in 2021). The bank requires a NEW original death certificate dated WITHIN THE LAST 6 MONTHS. They need me to get a new raised-seal copy. His condition has not changed.

This from a guy whose résumé was in Comic Sans

Ah yes, Bruce Blakeman, the guy who brought ICE to Nassau County and has his cops partnering with them, running for governor. Yeah no.

But she's on the marquee!

Heading to the Red Bucket Follies! It's in the same theater (the New Amsterdam) that My Niece The Broadway Actress™ appears in "Disney's Aladdin". She's not in the Follies, but I'm really looking forward to this -- and supporting Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. And we'll stop to see the Tree!

Oh shit, I lost my 2025 bingo card.

Has anyone just tried giving him a bunch of multicolored plastic keys on a ring? It might work as well as a gold medal, and be a lot cheaper. And safer. He couldn't swallow them.

I just want to tell all of you Florida & California Disney people here, who get to visit the parks every day with a season pass, that I am immensely jealous of each of you.

When every moon is a supermoon, no moon is a supermoon. (Fun fact: "supermoons" are visually indistinguishable from regular moons. Your eyes cannot discern the ≈6% difference unless the two are side-by-side, and possibly not even then)

When every moon is super, no moon is super.

The Pixel 10 Pro (for my wife for Xmas) came today. I took the trade-in mailer out of the box, threw the box away so she wouldn't find it, then packaged the trade-in (an old Pixel 2) and sealed it up. Three hours later I realized I never took the Pixel 10 out of the box that was in the trash can.

Well, sure. You see now, if it was a DUCK, then THAT'S a lawsuit.

"I hope on Christmas Eve he is visited by three spiri---" No, actually just the last one. And leave him there.

This is amazing. It's still going on (click the link and hit "Live") Wife thought it was a dead DJ, but not for two hours...

Sure, those are the bestest clothes I've ever seen! Everybody, have you ever seen such magnificent clothes? The ones he's definitely wearing?

PSA for anyone considering the Pixel 10 during Google's sale: although the 10%-off referral codes don't stack with Black Friday, the promo code "VERITASIUM" does — and it's good for another $150 off! I just got the Pixel 10 Pro for my wife for $599, minus an $80 trade-in for an old Pixel 2!

Trump promises to release the results of his MRI just as soon as Mark, Helly, Dylan and Irving finish refining the data.

Every single person in this photo looks like they'd blow the whistle on the Von Trapps

Oh boy, the all-Christmas-music station is playing Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" because someone thought it was a Christmas song ...

Instead of joining Triple-A, I saved money by getting Triple-A Advantage. Sure, when I got locked out or called for a tow they denied my claim. But I get a free tree-ornament air freshener every year.

Picked up the Criterion "Eyes Wide Shut" 4K at B&N yesterday at the half-price sale. Got home, my wife saw it, and she immediately grabbed it and announced she's giving it to me for Christmas. Goddammit.

I'm starting to believe in conversion therapy: TCM is showing "The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T", and Hans Conreid's "Do-Me-Do Duds" number will ABSOLUTELY turn you gay.

Fun fact: for the big acts in front of Macy's, the cameras are across 5th Ave from the bleachers, facing Macy's. And the performers face the cameras. So all of those lucky people in the bleachers? They only get to see the performers' asses. (I got to be one of those people some years ago)

Doing it again (and by "it", I mean carbo loading)

Shai-Hulud!

I see D.T. is having a normal one today

How did I not know this existed?!?

Has any movie trailer used a slowed-down minor-key version of "Toyland" yet? Cause even the REGULAR version of that song is creepy as fuck.

WANT

I'm seriously failing the Getting Out Of The Car Without Grunting Challenge

ME: I'm not interested in "Wicked: For Good." The first one was more than enough. EVERYBODY:

Just look at that happy couple. Just look at them.

I stopped at the Jericho Cider Mill yesterday, and I have a DEFCON LEVEL ONE ANNOUNCEMENT: THE CIDER IS CURRENTLY AT ITS DARK THANKSGIVING-LEVEL PEAK! Everybody, GET THE CIDER NOW! You'll thank me tomorrow!

"Somehow, Col. Lockjaw returned"

Congratulations, Tom Baker, on your MBE!

So, quick update, please: Has Cuomo moved to Florida yet? If not, does he know when? nypost.com/2025/07/19/u...

Simple: The next movie should take place in the Kelvin timeline. And in that timeline, Bond is inexplicably Idris Elba.

It COULD HAVE BEEN something much more. Some inspiring words and music, a vision of the ship as the next great thing, something legendary. Disney knows how to do this. But this isn't it. This is a a disappointing waste.

For all of Iger's focus on "StOrY," this Disney Destiny christening is just a meaningless succession of IP.

Frankenstein (2025): ****½ GREAT take on the story. Compelling, emotional, and the acting was spot-on. Some scenes featured real Lynch- (or Cronenberg-) level gore, but believable in-story. And no, it doesn't hew to the original book, but has its own story to tell.

And on top of all THAT (waves arms around), they're releasing another expensive overly-melodramatic all-CGI blue kitty movie that nobody asked for or wants.

I'm not disappointed by the Senate Democrats. Because I never EXPECTED them to have a spine.

You know what I hate? I hate having to stab myself with Tymlos every night. (This skeet is mostly for one person) (Me. I'm the person) (Also, I hate Schumer. But also Tymlos)

If you see this, post an album cover with a motor vehicle on it

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Anna & Elsa are now wine moms

I'll remain gaseous, thanks.