On today's episode of "Donny’s Daily Dementia Disasters," the stable genius fumbles into the history books as he botches the oath to the Constitution and gets savagely booed by thousands of NFL fans.

If the people have no groceries...

Most SNAP recipients live in red states. Are you tired of winning yet, MAGA? Or will you wait until you're homeless?

One feeds the needy. The other feeds the greedy.

If Trump declared he was converting to Islam tonight, I guarantee half his base would be wearing red MAGA turbans by the end of the week. Prove me wrong. 🫠

MAGA has become so unhinged that they now perceive working to solve problems for Americans as some kind of horror movie plot! Am I in the twilight zone? This is wild! 🤣

Next week he'll think you need a passport for Taco Bell.

Way to set the tone for the midterms with a series of devastating landslide election sweeps across the country! 🥳🌊🇺🇸

BREAKING: Leaked photo reveals Donald Trump undergoing intense training for a high-stakes “Cognitive Test” face-off against Jasmine Crockett. *Satire*

$40 BILLION in Argentina bail out money: Trump grants it ✅ $5 BILLION in contingency SNAP funding already set aside for emergencies such as govt shutdowns: Trump BLOCKS it ❌ Make America Great Again ❌ Make America Hungry Again ✅ America First ❌ Argentina First ✅ Are we great yet?

First comes marriage. Then comes widowhood. Then comes... It's Complicated.

I bet the Halloween party at the white house comes with a "happy ending."

BREAKING NEWS: South Korea crowned the new Bunker King and served him Mini Beef Patties with (extra) Ketchup.

"We had an MRI, MRI and the machine, you know, the whole thing, and it was perfect." - Donald Trump, 10/27/25

The contrast is striking 👀

Since MAGA has the fact checking skills of a 2nd grader...

"I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic."

MAGA had a lot to say about Kash Patel celebrating "Diwali" - a Hindu festival of lights. 🫠

MAGA now means "Make Argentina Great Again."

You reap what you sow. Farmers should know that better than anyone. 🙈

Now that photos are flooding in from all over the country showing an incredible DIVERSITY of signs in all shapes, sizes and colors - watch Pam Bondi try and frame this as a win because she shut George Soros down 🤣

We don't swear an oath to the president or political partied - we swear an oath to the Constitution. Real American Patriots support and defend the Constitution. 💪 🇺🇸

After he promised to give farmers a bailout, he decided to send it to Argentina instead. AGAIN. Holy spit in their face. 😮

Every accusation is a projection. ✅

Every accusation is a projection. ✅

Forgive me, Lord, for I have memed again...

This is unacceptable! Let's show Robby Roadsteamer our support! Time to go pick out a giraffe costume for the 18th!

Different shell, same energy.

Peace Scam Edition

I asked ChatGPT why people continue to support Trump despite a decade's worth of overwhelming evidence that he is a pathological liar, routinely betrays his closest allies, and rarely acts in his voters' best interests. Here's what it said:

The most NON-TRANSPARENT administration in history.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

It doesn't matter if you wear a red hat. You'll never be one of them.

Just two shutdowns away from tying his own record for most casinos (permanently) shutdown (due to bankruptcy).

“Nice democracy you got here… it'd be a real shame if something were to happen to it...”

She was right about EVERYTHING. 💯 ✅

The new MedBed is so futuristic, it even comes with reverse ageing. Nobody regresses back to a toddler throwing a tantrump better. 😎

When you bet the whole farm on the word of the most prolific pathological liar in presidential history...

"You have to get everybody in a room. You have to be a leader. The president has to lead. He has to get everybody else in a room, and they have to make a deal." - Donald Trump, Oct 7, 2013

Antifascism IS patriotism. Real patriots support and defend the Constitution - not a man who tramples all over it.

More people like Charles "peanut" Tillman please. 🫡

I miss those big, beautiful complete sentences. 🥹

BREAKING: Epstein calendar released by Democrats mentions Elon Musk was tentatively expected to visit Epstein’s private island on Dec. 6th, 2014. Steve Bannon and Peter Thiel implicated as well.

"Nobody's ever been treated so unfairly!"

And now for today's words of wisdom from a really stable genius:

In case you missed it, here's the single biggest highlight from last night’s show:

For today's lesson of "history repeats itself 101..."

All aboard! And bring popcorn! 🍿

Today’s lesson in 5th grade Remedial Reading: "That's it. Just sound it out, Mr. President."