Time to book the tickets for Melbourne in September.

Trump decides that Israel can’t have its own way when it comes to waging genocide.

Think of all the extra money we will have to spend on shopping when the trams and a cable car are built.

Looking forward to a capacity crowd next year as we face another valiant loss.

So glad we can get back to barracking for Andres Hastie

Angus Taylor bravely puts up his hand to lead the Liberal party to their next defeat.

Since we can’t have Andrew Hastie, we’re totally behind Angus Taylor leading the Liberal Party to electoral oblivion. “Well done Angus”.

So glad we can get to talking about the divisions between the Libs and the Nationals and how the leadership of Sussan Ley is doomed if she starts talking about policy.

Also: Why the government needs to release more land for development.

Bunch of guys in Melbourne fail to do a deal on who is going to lead the Liberals to thier next electoral defeat.

Because a Liberal more right wing, more religiously fundamental, more hairy-chested, more big swinging dick energy and Peter Dutton is precisely what the Liberals need right now.

Houses are up again - horror! Also inside: Our weekly, 20 page, full colour, real estate liftout.

Conservatives and Jewish commentators are worried that the Royal Commission will not bring the open-minded and unbiased report that a Jewish Zionist will bring to the enquiry.

We are looking forward to hearing from Phillip Ruddock who was Minister for Immigration when Sajid Akram came to Australia and transfered to a partner visa.

Australia deserves to know how much we can blame Albo.

And we will always be here to cheer you on.

People deserve answers. Like how the like how the LNP Ley the father into the country. Like how the LNP allowed loopholes to allow him to buy guns that were banned under the Howard era gun reforms. Like how the LNP wanted to water down racial vilification laws.

It’s still too early to know how much we can blame the PM.

Haley Reid exclusively tells us how he is looking forward to another disappointing year with the West Coast Eagles.

Disappointing that it is the son of a West Coast Eagles player. Otherwise we would have brought you the exclusive story about the mental toll on him and his family.

Basil calls for an end to negative hearing and tax concessions to solve the housing crisis. Nah, just joking. He blames Roger Cook again. Coming up in tomorrow’s paper: Our 20 page, full colour, property lift out.

We regret to inform you that private schools are not much chop where it counts.

We tried. We really tried. Honest. We don’t know what more we could have done.

Influencers, whose sole talent is getting people to look at pictures got together. We bring you all the pics.

Perth property council want someone else to do something so that they can increase profits.

Basil Zempalis gets stuck into negative gearing and capital gains tax concessions as the root cause of the housing crisis. Nah, just kidding. He only wants to get stuck into Roger Cook and the ALP. And we are hear to help.

It should be said that we did not deliberately picture a Federal Labor member of parliament who we caught at in an odd moment.

After us cheering on the property market for years we all know that it’s Roger’s fault that property prices have gone up.

Sussan Ley, who by all accounts will not be leading the Liberals to the next election, committed them to a policy that will lead to them losing them losing the next election.

The Liberal party commits to another three years in opposition.

Spoiler: there was no plot.

We really tried to find someone in the ALP who was not a crook to write Richo’s obituary. Honest.

You had one job …

Don’t even think of suggesting that we are barracking for the Liberal party.

We congratulate Donald Trump for reducing international diplomacy to a dick measuring competition.

We’re not going to admit too loudly that Albo had a good meeting in the US. But we are going to say that his hubris is getting away from him.

Australian troops may be deployed to defend Gaza from Israel where they may face off against Australia-Israel duel citizens in the IDF.

Still no word on the remaining 3,500 Palestinians held without charge. Israeli security forces have explicitly banned any celebration for the return of Palestinian hostages.

No reports of the 3,500 Palestinians held in Israeli jails without charge.

And have they started beating their wives? We ask Baz in our exclusive interview.

We had an exclusive chat with the bosses’ son to dispel claims that he doesn’t like us. But we ran out of time to talk about claims that he is one of Australia’s biggest nepo’ baby.

Yep. Definitely grandstanding etc as he met with numerous world leaders, including Canada and the UK, also met with the US President on the side lines of the UN assembly, addressed the UN assembly, and secured a dedicated meeting with the US President.

Albo avoids having to meet with rapist, felon and suspected pedophile, Donald Trump.

Albo gets upset over 50,000 dead including Australian aid worker Zomi Frankom.

Revealed at a press conference with the Minister of Defense and that Premier. Multi-billion, multi-year investment in WA that is obviously a bad thing.

Coming up next week. The 14 part series on all the things that West Coast need to do to improve in 2026.

We congratulate the Government school sector for catching up with the Private and Catholic schools after all these years.

Wouldn’t it be great if we had someone like Basil to lead the Opposition.

In spite of West Coast having 1 win and 17 losses for the season, 0-5 for their last 5 matches, verses Dockers having 12 wins and 6 losses for the season 4 wins and one loss in thier last five, the WCE are paying $12.50 v Docker $1.03 we think there might might be an upset in the offing. Seriously.

There were tears around the office as the Football Department realised they they couldn’t tip West Coast without losing every remaining shred of credibility.