Now every time someone uses some big ass word to seem smart I visualize it in blue like that thing TikTok does with search terms

All day

Everyone’s talking about Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson. And I’m like: I get a huJAKE in my head when you’re on the MIKE (TYSON). (microphone)

Me looking down at my tissue after blowing my nose like there’s gonna be a surprise in there

I’m gonna call them squeets if that’s chill with y’all. Like and resqueet

me talkin shit before my intramural basketball game just to go 1-15 with 8 turnovers

I feel like everyone is too scared to do comedy on Bluesky because no one’s being funny on this bitch

I passed out in the gym and no one noticed but when I say a word wrong suddenly it’s all about me

Doing everything in my power to not infect Bluesky with my generally negative mindset