People with prank voicemails in the year 2026? Go to hell.

“Jude Bellingham let the intrusive thoughts win” No my gayl, that was a man who stood there, heard some bullshit (I am assuming, it’s Argentina it’s a good assumption) & made a choice. And good for him.

I love reading shit from antiquity! I disagree with Aristotle on the nature of friendship. yes he was much smarter than I am, but look who's dead. and who isn't.

Okay yes we all love the Sisters but also like.. when you are with your friends do you not also talk about things that you like? I’m very concerned for those of you who this seems to mystify.

Someone said to me “Gabee I love how you always laugh at your own jokes” What else am I supposed to do? I am a funny bitch?

Unfortunately, you just can’t be upset that Jude Bellingham is having a good time!!

I think it was Lupita Nyong’o, but in the end The Odyssey has won me over Matt Damon and all. I’ll be seated.

There is a man on reels talking about Salt - A World History and just how good it is when he started reading it as a joke but Salt IS a world history & it’s fascinating! And yeah, that’s what happens when you read! Read more! Literacy!

Zelda eating a donut: “imagine if bread was donuts”

I always forget there are other people on the internet and then get mad about it.

I am reading Dungeon Crawler Carl and I’ve got to be very honest, I think the people who are hyping up this book just haven’t read enough. It’s good and fun but it’s like.. exactly that Good and Fun.

So sorry, but does anyone else remember this version of Thumbelina?

If one more of these boys says "I hold up my hands" as a way to try and apologize I'm flying to Mallorca and sitting them all down for a class on what the word "accountability" means. #LoveIslandUK

There are so many people saying so many things about why it’s okay for this to have happened, but it’s actually not okay. Loving something doesn’t mean accepting it as it is, it means holding what you love to a higher standard.

#FIFA fans are forgetting is that when an influx of people come into something, we can see past the bullshit. “Oh you don’t understand the rules” no, I do understand the rules, I also know what bias and cheating looks like! You made your peace with it I have to make peace with NOTHING.

I honestly don’t know what I’m more pissed off about #FIFA or #LoveIslandUK

OR Kavan acting like Jasmine didn’t tell him exactly what happened. He wants to be mad about it? Fine. But you cannot equate banter with making out with a girl at Casa SORRY. He is trying to turn it into something it is NOT to feel validated because he knows he crossed a line! #LoveIslandUK

Every single boy in there has crossed a line and they know it. Simba is too on the nose a better example is Samraj speaking OVER Priya to apologize, he does not want to hear what she has to say. He wants to say the pretty words and move on. It’s pathetic. #LoveIslandUK

The post where someone said "This series Love Island is basically why Adolescence was made in the UK" because these boys are thinking they are deserving of respect for what? Being there? No. If you don't give respect you do not get respect just because you're a boy! #LoveIslandUK

It's movie night and what Aiden is doing to Kavan is actually sinister. Like that is so toxic. #LoveIslandUK

I truly thought the “we hate Argentina” thing was like a funny, haha, just a joke. No. We hate Argentina. The rapture will happen and not a soul from Argentina will be returned to heaven.

Feeling visceral disappointment and now I have to go pay my taxes.

Me watching this Colombia game:

As someone who watches a LOT of reality Television? I've never seen anything as blatantly rigged as that Argentina vs Egypt game, #FIFA is worse than all of bravo put together.

Aaaaaaaand they took it away, but what they can't take away is just how WELL Egypt is playing!

Oh wow, you're just gonna give Argentina a penalty like that? Embarrassing for you that it didn't work out!

Okay so we’re all cheering for Colombia today 🇨🇴

Okay I’ll say it: These are some of the worst boys we’ve ever had in the villa. #loveisland

Helen of Troy, Lupita Nyongo sparkles in Christian Cowan for the London premiere of #theodysseymovie.

Didn’t expect to fall in love with Norway during the World Cup! Jumping on the bandwagon is honestly so fun and I really recommend it!

So far the biggest lie in the Love Island villa is that Jasmine wasn't "expecting that" from Kav, he's 21! What else could you possibly expect from him? Girl, please be for real. #LoveIslandUK

We went to see Frozen The Musical™️ and it was a perfectly fine piece of local theater, but I just hate Frozen.

Brb getting a Haaland Jersey!

There is a bit in The Sheep Detectives (2026) where a chicken crosses the road that is SUCH an effective gag.

The Sheep Detectives (2026) is a masterpiece of cinema.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo was an absolutely fine book, but the book I accidentally got first called The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle was so much better.

Accidentally did weaponized incompetence and didn’t wash a pan well enough, now I’m “not allowed to do the dishes”

Wow, didn’t realize that every single male actor alive was in the movie Black Hawk Down (2001)

Opal doing a bit in a news caster voice “What is your name young farter?”

Seb “don’t jump on the couch.” Opal “mom says it’s HER couch because you got it for her for Christmas” Seb “Then don’t jump on MOMMY’s couch” I am lol’ing

If I could roll my R’s the vocal stims from the Telemundo #WorldCup announcers would be endless

I said take a shot of Amarillo every time Colombia scores a goal and then we got a goal! #WorldCup #ColombiaVSGhana

The last +7 minutes of overtime could be the most stressful 30 minutes of over time of your life. #WorldCup #ArgentinaVSCapeVerde

I love that I accidentally married into a family who’s got a nationally built in theme!

"Tonguing however many girls with tiny little feet" Lola uttering words that have surely never been spoken as a sentence ever before! I love #LoveIslandUK

You all better be normal about this.

Joel McHale is hosting The Kelly Clarkson Show & it feels like a parody canned bit.

The next time you see a gal on her phone at the hotel pool have some compassion, she might have left her book at home 😢

One of my favorite things about The Bear is that they’ll just start a new bit, & then, just like in life, you just have to go with the new bit until a new one starts.

Richie: “is it 50-50 50-50?” Syd: “that’s 200” Richie: “correct” Gawd I fucking love The Bear