I am SO tired, y'all. A week off chemo and still feel like shit and the poison runs again today. Ugh ugh.

Phoebe

How it’s going 4/2/2026 Thursdays with few exceptions are my chemo + days for 3 out of 4 Thursdays. It's relentless and though the chemo kills cancer cells it also kills my white blood cells who are key to fighting infections. It specifically wipes out my ABS neutrophils that are key immune cells.…

Health update 3/19/26 Received the immunotherapy med today. First infusion of each cycle I will get it. It lasts a out 6 weeks. 80% dose today to watch for adverse reactions. So far none. I was given IV benadryl first because stupid mast cells (yes, I asked) and promptly fell asleep. Slept a half…

2nd car tour I made it out of the house for the 2nd daytime car tour. Lunch outside in Nags Head where Amber fed a corvid. A stop at an oceanside beach with great wave splashes, birds, and I gathered sand for a friend. Third stop at a wee crescent beach at Oregon Inlet. Back home for shared dinner…

We made it. I am a useless lump today. Luckily I don't need to be a useful one.

I had to go back to Hillman today to get an immune boost injection. The side affect is bone pain. Antihistamines are supposed to lessen that. Cancer is a barrel of LOLs. #deathwork #terminalcancer4me

At Hillman Cancer Center drinking a bottle of water while wearing my ice mittens and my ice booties. These are now required with my chemo so I do not get neuropathy. It's kind of amusing and awful because I get cold so easily.

Health update, I wasn’t accepted into the clinical trial There is a threshold that must be met via the light up medicine they injected in order to qualify for the clinical trial. My primary tumor lit up way more than they could've hoped, but the two small nodules did not. Because of the arbitrary…

So if I'm understanding this correctly- High schoolers are walking out of class to protest ICE. Wine moms are running the coffee station at outdoor at anti ICE protests in sub zero temps White liberal men are outside with assault rifles guarding their neighborhoods from ICE

It's been almost a dozen years since I wrote this. It is unfortunately still as pertinent now as it was then. leanintojoy.org/2014/04/14/p...

Update about the clinical trial Here is the most recent update for the clinical trial. They've decided to close phase two. Phase two is the one where everyone gets the drug and it is the one I wanted to be included in, and because they had spoken to me already about it all I had to do was sign the…

Terminalcancer4me update, Jan 30, 2026 I had the meeting with the clinical trial doctor yesterday. The study is in phase two non-randomized and that is far better than phase 3 randomized. If I qualify for the study it will last for 6 months. I will receive a radioisotope once a month during this…

Scan results & the next step Got my scan results back and reviewed them with Dr. Malhotra today. Brain fine, one area of enhancement is believed to be from the radiation treatment. She'll confirm that is the case with the radiation team, though they called me with my results saying the same thing.…

Protect our waterways! Let the EPA know you care and to not implement the rule! act.sierraclub.org/actions/Nati...

And, apparently still cannot be trusted not to take the Zofran because when I was refilling my Med containers there was an extra one and I was like oh hey in my mouth you go. Someday I may learn. Or not. Luckily I only take 1/3 of the dose per 24 hours on those 3 days. #deathwork #terminalcancer4me

Exciting future cancer fighting news. www.ucsf.edu/news/2025/01...

Chemo today, December 29th As I finally learned to not take Zofran on chemo day and for 2 days after I've been dealing with nausea. Ugh. I broke down and asked for a script for Compazine this time. I took some about 20 to 30 minutes ago and we'll see if it works. The two side effects I'm concerned…

Just wow at their talent. 🤯

Day 24 #artAdventCalendar One of my favorite beach scenes, "Holy Waters", 2022. Chalk pastels on Strathmore 80 lb drawing paper. I gifted it to a friend.

Day 22 and 23 oops #artAdventCalendar More death themed Tiny Art Show.

Day 21 #artAdventCalendar The dunes in late afternoon near the the defunct life saving station on the spit of land at Oregon Inlet on Pea Island side. It has the sound on one side and ocean on the other. Oregon Inlet has been called the most dangerous East Coast inlet. North Carolina.

Beautiful

Day 20 #artAdventCalendar The Daughter and I went to a festival of lights just over state lines and the Grinch arrived. This photo is where he raised his hand for a high five and as soon as she raised hers to do it he quickly turned away and acted as if he was saluting out the window. 😂

Day 19 #artAdventCalendar Pretty sure my theme for the 2025 Tiny Art Show was death. Decomposition, acrylics on canvas.

Day 18 #artAdventCalendar I'm late today, I was out of town! This photo is because of the shadow. It caught my attention because it looked like an insect to me. 🙂

Day 17 #artAdventCalendar I will never not chuckle at Octavius, my cartoon octopus. Yes, I am easily amused. Yes, I adore him.

❤️❤️

Day 16 #artAdventCalendar Playing with challks on a winter morning. "Memories of you at Christmas" Unfinished untrimmed medium tooth paper, chalk pastels.

"The wonderful thing about Pemetrexed is that it absolutely kills cancer cells. The awful thing about Pemetrexed is that it absolutely kills healthy cells. Every chemo treatment that I have leaves me a little bit more weak, and it takes a little bit longer to..." leanintojoy.org/2025/12/16/e...

This delightful dog who has my heart is 17 today.

Day 15, please click for full view. #artAdventCalendar I some quick-n-dirty bookmarks that matched the book covers of what I was reading. This one was the first. Mixed media paper with acrylics.

I finally saw the movie "Gremlins". Wow. It was fun, though.

Day 14 #artAdventCalendar As above, so below, marsh on Hatteras Island, NC. Early spring 2022.

I bumped the tree and did not realize that I knocked the star on its side. It looks a little like a flying saucer and I like it.

Wow wow wow