Right!?

I'll bet you $10 the worm in RFK Jr's head is circumcised.

My good friend Justin set this up to help me recoup some of what I've lost to the MAGA mob. Please share if you're willing. Thank you. gofund.me/03526643c

I've now spoken to three police officers (two retired) about the assault with a deli weapon in DC and my favorite quote so far is, "Those fascist pussies'd better nut up quick."

I've never been a South Park fan, and I've got to say, I think they really missed the mark on this Trump in bed with Satan thing. Satan is over 2000 years old, and Trump likes them young.

All I want for Trump, Clinton, and anyone else on the Epstein list is the same presumption of innocence that ICE is currently giving anyone else.

I'm trying to help one of my former students. She's turned a corner and has hit a snag. Please help if you can; any little bit would be great. www.gofundme.com/f/help-nicol...

I made some things for middle school science and put them up for free. Please feel free to share. www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/NYS-...

American Jesus is a gun pointed at brown people who don't speak English as their primary language. American Jesus don't have a thing in common with Jesus Jesus.

Breaking News: For the past three months, Pete Hegseth has been accidentally sexting the New York Times editorial board.

It's true.

In this most recent Reacher, they're eating New England clam chowder and biscuits for breakfast. I've never considered this, but man oh man....

Holy shit, this whole fucking thing was just a psyop by Greta Thunberg to get Republicans to buy electric cars, and it worked! That kid's a genius!

I know people love their conspiracy theories, but the sadder, more likely explanation is that neither Trump nor any of his dipshit minions have any idea how to stop this war, and having over-promised on it, Cheeto Jesus would rather burn everything down than admit he's a clueless dipshit. Dipshits.

The MAGA cult are the only people who don't recognize that Trump just showed the entire world that he's a pathetic, downright fragile pussy. And I mean "pussy" fully as the 1980s-style insult. He tried to flex nuts, met actual strength, then threw a whiny conniption. What a pussy.

I'm not ashamed of my country; I'm enraged.

Our President is so fucking stupid that he can't understand that Putin is the aggressor. He's that fucking dumb.

Somebody just do it already.

Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Star Wars is the perfect analogy for the United States. Who are you? "We're the Jedi. We're religious fanatics who take anything we want and manipulate or kill anyone who stands against us." And the Sith...who are they? "They're the bad guys."

Watching white conservatives moan that there were no white people in the halftime show is so funny. *Now* you want diversity and inclusion!?!? Pick a lane, chumps.

So Cheeto Jesus won't rule out deploying U.S. troops to drive every single Palestinian out of Gaza so it can be turned into upscale beachfront real estate. The correct response to an order to go to Gaza for a bit of ethnic cleansing is to frag the officers giving those orders.

I eat what I like and don't apologize for it. Even if their parents complain or call the police or whatever.

I can't stand his face, I can't stand his voice, I can't stand the stupid things that come out of his mouth, and I wish he'd just vanish forever. Yes, yes, him too, but I'm talking about Rob Gronkowski.

Another flight crash, in Philly. Musk/Trump fired the head of the FAA, froze hiring of air traffic controllers, and threatened all of their jobs. Could this sudden major distraction possibly have anything to do with this sudden problem? These assholes have blood on their hands. Real blood.

Repeat after me: Which part of it are you against; the diversity, the equity, or the inclusion?

If a dog's tongue is cleaner than a human's tongue, then my nose is cleaner than if you'd vigorously licked it for most of the past five minutes.

President Trump just proposed cutting the national sales tax to 15% for all American-made goods! Now I know we're all over-taxed and a rate above 15% would be bonkers, so on first blush this looks like it could be a great idea, unless you know that there's no such thing as a national sales tax.

Dear Authors/Everyone Else Doing PR: Literally everyone loves getting subscribed to mailing lists without their knowledge. Everyone. Nobody doesn't rejoice at unsolicited spam in their inbox. Do that a lot and it'll really skyrocket your career *and* make you bunches of friends. Sincerely, Me

Take the time to watch this video if you've ever been guilty or innocent of doing anything illegal.

I'm not sure how much good it will actually do them, but the fact that the NFL (via Colombia) is now allowing hundreds of U.S. deportees to help the Chiefs against the Eagles is just another sign of this ridiculous bias.

Douchebag-in-Chief just doubled the price of coffee and Valentine's Day flowers for his delicate fee-fees. Columbia's president merely insisted that they arrive on a civilian flight and not in handcuffs. What a brittle, ridiculous, pathetic ego we're all going to be paying for. Are eggs cheaper?

It wasn't written about him, but it was written about him.

Wow, today was awful, in so many ways, including several tragedies I'm not at liberty to share that are *even worse* than sharing a moment of joy with a kid showing off her new puppy only to find that it had just died in her arms. Hey tomorrow, don't be such a dick, eh?

I never expected that, at 48, I'd have to draw the line at literal, actual Nazism.

Perhaps the clearest take, from The Hollywood Reporter. Unexpected. But not the strangest thing I’ve seen in the past 2 days.. www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/politic...

We're all women. Hayhayhay, my sistahs, what's goin' on?

Fearless MAGA challenge: Do the exact same salute Musk did, on camera, and post it to your social media. No comments, no explanation, just that salute, exactly as he did it. For extra cred, tag your boss.

They're trying very hard to explain away this literal, actual Nazi salute made by Techno-oberfuhrer Musk. But it is what it is: a literal, actual Nazi salute.

Birthright citizenship is a Constitutional right. The very notion that a president can do away with it via executive order should be offensive to *everyone*, and perhaps especially conservatives.

Now that only two genders can drown in the Gulf of America, are eggs cheaper?

Facebook: Oh, you like reels of octopuses playing and doing cool stuff? Here's a bunch of reels of them being hunted, speared, and eaten! Yeesh. I hope they don't do the same thing after I click on videos of kittens playing.

Absolute assclownery.

The average human is dead. The average living human contains more than one skeleton. Averages can be weird.

The Internet is healing.... On Facebook I told a guy to "fuck alllllllll the way off", and instead of sticking around to argue, he blocked me. Hooray!

How do non-binary serial killers dispatch their victims? they/them [This joke is objectively hilarious and if like literally everyone else I've told it to you don't find it funny then that just means you've got a crap sense of humor thank you good night.]