I will always remember this as the day I learned that the line is "Up all night with Freddie King/ I got to tell you that poker's his thing." For many years now, I thought it was "I got to tell him to focus his thing. I assumed it was a gingerly worded criticism of Freddie's technique at the urinal.

At the New York Times opinion section, Thoughtful, Serious people are still talking as if ICE operations have something to do with "immigration control."

R.I.P. Bob Weir

R.I.P. T.K. Carter, an actor who was very good in some movies and TV shows I very much enjoyed in which nothing good happened to him.

Well worth your time, says man on social media who has a meltdown panic attack whenever something reminds him that Tom Verlaine has moved on to the next stage of his cosmic journey.

Season 2 of THE PITT has landed. It will run 15 weeks, which is approximately half as long as my wife is going to be complaining about Noah Wyle making his entrance riding a motorcycle without a helmet.

The Free Press has a headline up that reads "The Right Response to the Minneapolis ICE Shooting." Which is a little funny, partly because I don't know that this this template is the legacy that Ezra Klein was hoping in his dream of dreams to leave behind.

If the region of my newsletter diet where the hardcore moderates who feel threatened by cancelation are anything to go by, there’s a campaign going on to make “Bari Weiss Derangement Syndrome” a thing.

No notes.

Oh yeah, this is going great.

Here’s everything anyone needs to know about Bari Weiss and The Free Press: the new article headlined “Orwell Saw This Coming” is about Zohran Mamdani.

It’s disappointing that he got through the press conference without saying that the people of Venezuela will greet the American liberators of its oil reserves with flowers and sweets, but I guess he needs to save some nifties for the Truth Social account.

“I thought one of the easier ones [to solve] would be Russia-Ukraine, but it’s not.” It’s always a thrill to see Trump experience a moment of clarity, given that it could be the last one.

Got to love the “Watch me rock!” look on Marco’s face when Trump asks him if he’d like to talk some shit about Cuba.

And, yes, we’re going to Make Venezuela Great Again.

Who’s actually going to be in charge of Venezuela, now that we’re “running” it? “A group.”

Who’s actually going to be in charge of Venezuela, now that we’re “running” it? “A group.”

General Dan Caine is describing the mission and praising those who carried it out. Between the two of them, Trump and Hegseth referred to him by the comic-book nickname “Razin Caine” at least three times. Paradoxically, coming after those guys, his speaking style is refreshingly boring.

Seems like a good time to remind everybody that the generals he had in his first term sucked.

When he says “in conclusion”, loosen your belt and settle in.

Today in History: “The Monroe Doctrine is a big deal, but we’ve superseded it by a lot. By a real lot. They now call it the Don-ro Doctrine, I don’t know. The Monroe Doctrine, we sort of forgot about it. It’s very important, but we forgot about it. We don’t forget about it anymore.”

I have seen the half-rotted carcasses of rats lying under houses that did not look as dead as Marco Rubio’s face.

Today in fine distinctions: “A mental institition isn’t as tough as a prison.”

We have weave!

l’m having a Paul Bremer flashback.

Wolf Blitzer is speculating on whether, after Maduro has been legally processed, he’ll be released on bail. Wolf must spend more time zoning out in front of LAW & ORDER reruns than I do.

I guess I don’t check in with CNN that often, because James Earl Jones died in September 2004, and I just experienced this crazy sensation of hearing a voice calling out to me from beyond the grave telling me which channel I’m watching.

Marco Rubio is going to spend the second half of his life trying to show us all what a tough guy he is because he once tried to impugn the size of a man’s penis and the joke didn’t land.

The media has been full of stuff about Mamdani taking office, and you know how sensitive what’s-his-name is about not being the center of everybody’s attention.

Find someone who’ll worry about you the way Hamish worries about me when he realizes I’m going to watch the “I’m Just Ken” production number from the 2024 Oscars show again.

Now Playing: LAW & ORDER, “Patsy”, from 1999. Special guest exposition dispenser: David Harbour, before he went feral.

Maya Phillips flogging Christopher Nolan’s “Odyssey” movie in the New York Times: “It all seems to point to a film that may make even the non-mythology buffs seek out a Lattimore or Wilson translation and become Greek epic enthusiasts.” Oh, absolutely. That’s totally what’s going to happen.

Now Playing: the STRANGER THINGS finale Here’s an idea: maybe don’t have the heroine of your experience in Netflix bloat portentously say “It’s over!” when there’s still an hour and forty minutes left to go on this ride.

Sitting at home feeing a little melancholy. I suppose I’ve got the end-of-year blahs. (I don’t know if that’s a thing, but maybe it is now.) happily, I went searching for a pick-me-up and found a dying man performing the National Anthem of Phil Nugent.

I am on my way to a grocery store, and my last Lyft driver of 2025 is a dead ringer for Aunt Gladys in WEAPONS. Probably not any kind of omen, but thoughts and prayers would be appreciated.

Vicki Lawrence has a sizable guest role in the latest episode of PALM ROYALE, playing Carol Burnett’s mother, ranting about Krampus and female empowerment in an accent that you could cut up into manageable pieces and use as a gravy sop. It’s a New Year’s Eve miracle!

A 1947 Irving Penn photo of the famous Danish explorer Peter Freuchen and his wife, Dagmar Cohn. I ‘d like to think I’m not the only one who’s seen this picture and thought, “That’s probably not the wildest coat Edward Gorey wore, and I understand the brother could be moody, but who’s the dame?”

R.I.P. Isiah Whitlock, Jr.

Artists from Dante, Milton, and William Blake to Alan Moore and whoever made DARK ANGEL: THE ASCENT have tried to depict what Hell might be like, and none of them has come closer to capturing my idea of eternal damnation than Taylor Sheridan when he wants to show his characters having a good time.

Happy birthday, Alex Chilton

Now Playog: BALLAD OF A SMALL PLAYER. In a two-decade stretch of time that has not lacked for surprises, twists, and turns, nothing is more surprising to me than how much I have come to love watching Colin Farrell.

This one goes out to Stephen Miller

R.I.P. Amos Poe

Someday, hopefully in the far distant future, "Nearly ambassador to the United Nations" is going to look great in the first line of her obituary.

R.I.P. Bob Burns. Was this my favorite actor when I was 10? Let’s just say he was up there.

Hey, TV, if you’re so smart, how come I can’t find BREAKING BONADICE streaming anywhere!?