REPORT: Ruby Bundler Spotted With Ominous Vultures Circling Overhead

Aww! All This Woman’s Favorite Libraries and Communities Are Toxic

I LIVED IT: The Q3 OKRs That Were Far Away Are Now

This Woman’s Code Is So Good Her Rubber Duck Debugging Session Is Mostly Just Edge Case Stuff

‘I'm Okay With Either Approach, You Pick,’ Says Coworker Engaging in Psychological Warfare

DUDE CORNER: Hey, Do You Know How To Do This Thing, That’s Clearly In The Docs, But I Haven’t Even Bothered to Look For Yet?

Aw! Boss Just Calling to Check in Because They Woke up in the Middle of the Night and Thought Prod Was Down

Woman Eyes Current Job Suspiciously After Realizing That All Her Jobs Were Awful

Fun! This Xbox CEO Would Be a Personality Layoff

Woman Unfamiliar With Tests Passing With No Flakes Throws Computer Out of Habit

Woah! This Woman’s Chars Are So Long They’re Actually Just Strings

This AI Tech Will Destabilize The Entire Economic Order And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Capitalism vs. No It Won’t

Looks Like GCP Couldn’t Handle It

QUIZ: Are You Pulling Off This Deploy or Can Everyone Tell You’re Using Kubernetes for the First Time?

Mindfulness? This Program Is Trying Not to Panic on a Null Value

Brave! UDP Packet Leaving Computer Knows There’s an 80% Chance It Doesn’t Make It To Destination

Woman Rewarded for Time Spent Doing Glue Work With More Time Doing Glue Work

Man in Desperate Need of Rubber Duck Who Can Slap Him

How to Post a PR and Get Through a Code Review Without Apologizing the Whole Time

Man Aims to Get Rust Job in Next Couple of Years “Hasn’t happened for me yet but maybe one day there will be one that isn’t a Crypto scam”

Ashamed Woman Hiding Interest in LLMs Like It’s Hentai

Woman Silences Fictional Imposter Syndrome With Real-Life Embarrassing Failure

Goals! Man’s Hacky Script Not Appropriate for Any Occasion

Lack of Space on Laptop Not Deterring Developer From Taking Free Stickers at A Conference

Pope Leo Declares AWS Chicago Local Zone to Be us-central-1, Excommunicates us-east-1

QUIZ: Will Silencing That Production Outage Page Make You Feel Better or Make Everything 1000% Worse?

Man Entering Quarterly Planning Meeting Loses Capacity to Plan More Than Two Days Ahead

Slow Living? Woman Still Discovering JS Framework That Came Out in 2014

Bootlicker? This Woman Showed Up to Standup With Her Camera On

How to Make Your Programming Socks Fit Like They Fit Women by Transitioning

How to Make Your Programming Socks Fit Like They Fit Women by Transitioning

How to Stop Saying ‘Jesus Fucking Christ’ Out Loud When Meeting Your Company’s Investors

‘Comparison Is the Thief of Joy,’ Says Woman Who Apparently Has Never Compared Herself to a Huge Loser Like Elon Musk

REPORT: Pod Stuck in CrashLoopBackOff, The “Replacing Your Duvet Cover” of k8s

Spring Cleaning! Issues Dutifully Moved From Backlog to Planned for Q4

Time-saving Hack! This Woman Took the Code From Her Abandoned Side Project and Reassembled Some of It Into a Second, Smaller Side Project

5 Mechanical Keyboards That Say, ‘I Canceled Therapy to Pay for This’

5 Mechanical Keyboards That Say, ‘I Canceled Therapy to Pay for This’

Brave! Team Lead Confidently Makes Decision Once It’s Clear There Are No Other Alternatives

Conflicted? Windows Hates Writing to Disk but Loves Reading from Disk

Woman Spends Entirety of 30s Zoning Out Between Builds

SRE Partner Reluctantly Accepts Role of Running The Polycule’s Infrastructure

I LIVED IT: I Showed Friends My Favorite Programming Language and They Pointed Out All the Ways It’s Problematic

Back Channel Work Slack Celebrates 500th Consecutive Day of Being Active Nonstop “At least FDR was giving us Social Security with his Fireside Chats. All I’m getting from our CEOs is a giant ego and him wanting to feel like he actually does something here”

Uh oh! CPU Orders Retaliatory Tariffs On RAM. “We’ve been Importing Big Data For Years. We Should Grow It Here At Home In Our Registers. They’ll Be So Big So Soon To Handle Big Beautiful Data”

Fair Trade? This PM Mentally and Emotionally Tortured This Engineer for Months so She Took His Office Snacks

CPU Requires 48 Hours of Alone Time to Recover From 15-Minute Rust Release Build

Man Coding On Computer in Starbucks With Hopes Someone Will Notice

QUIZ: Is He Mature Enough or Do You Always Have to Run the Auto Formatter On His Code?

Scary! YC Founder Younger Brother Is Someone’s Best Friend’s Annoying Boyfriend