OMG THERE WAS A BAT ON MY FRONT PORCH 😭

If I was a critter runnin’ wild and free all I’d want is to chase a sweet honeybee My version of All I Want is You to my cats

Cutest little void

I was trying to video my cat with a twig stuck to his butt and he decided to be absolutely adorable

That was a badass hole in one

And suddenly, I’m not so grateful that my new neighbor mows my lawn for free

“Mastery of his blades” This bitch is killing me, Quinn Hughes falls constantly bruh

I really need to lock in, but I don’t wanna lock in Sometimes being your own boss is so hard because wdym I’m the only one that will tell me what to do 😩

I’m 36, bitchessss Shoutout to my bestie for making me pose for pics 😂

It’s my birthday and I did get woken up in that special way… by cracking open a Cherry Float Coke and doing a dab in bed ☺️

Bro 😩

WE HAD THAT LIGHT SWITCH INSTALLED FOR YOU SO YOU COULD TURN THE LIGHTS ON AND OFF…NOT SO YOU COULD THROW LIGHT SWITCH RAVES!!

My cat dug up my elephant ear bulb 😩😩😭😭😭

My lil Wichita Wheat Shocks might actually pull through 🥺

Oh dear lord, my Walmart shopper is named Gunnar. He better get my order right 😩

I’m accidentally drunker than I meant to be Wait I feel like I’ve posted this before

I asked my dad if that was a throw pillow in his lap or his belly, thinking surely it can’t be his belly It was his belly 😂 It literally looked like he had a throw pillow stuffed under his shirt

I’m on a walk and my shoes are giving me blisters and I’m over half a mile from my house… do I tough it out or do I take my shoes off and walk in my socks? Neither feels like a great option

“It’s not a brag, it’s the truth!”

Nah, forgiveness is actually optional

Some of my kitten’s favorite things are belly rubs and his hammock I can’t get over how cute this little void is 😭

It’s important I let my nuts hang

It’s crazy to see some of these guys. My sister went to KU in 2000 and I remember Drew Gooden, Eric Chenowith, and Nick Collins so well And then Markieff 😭

My 8 month old kitten weighs 10.5 pounds 😩

That was an expensive ass Pokémon commercial

Lil Quinn 🥺

Dear Canada, please punch the Tkachuk brothers directly in the face

Lol the Pokémon intermission report

Just a bunch of grown dudes high fiving over being on tv lol

Look at me being awake early!

One of my kittens ate half the donut I was saving for tomorrow 😭😭

“Can I lick your rim?” I hear from beside me…

I redownloaded a dating app when I was ovulating and now that I’m in my luteal phase I don’t even want a man speaking to me

I guess my music style is artists people have never heard of #spotify

What I’ve been calling my kittens lately- Critters Crumpets Nuggets Butternut Squashes

Look at how freaking adorable Luka is 🥺

My sister saw Luka and Dirk in the flesh last night at Luka’s event and I’ve never been more jealous in my life

I voted in a local election yesterday and only 445 people voted 😂

ROCK CHALK

I’ve stopped at three different places, and no one has said a word about the fact that I’m wearing a zebra onesie

I’m so stressed about my business today and then the governor comes out and calls for the ban on medical marijuana I’m really trying not to freak out but FUCK. I’ve sunk my entire savings and life into this business and industry. And now some fuck ass Republican is trying to rip it away from me

Sometimes business mistakes are just so easy to spot. Why make each menu item a paragraph? I’m not reading that shit just to get a burger

Why am I having the Sunday scaries when I don’t even have a real job like that 😩

I want to open tiktok so bad, but I know it will mess up my attention span for the rest of the day I just keep scrolling past it and looking at it 😩

I asked one of my neighbors to let me know if they did a grocery store run because I needed some thing. They just posted on the neighborhood group that they just got back from the store and the roads are slick Cool, cool, cool. Real cool

I really need this ice to thaw out. I’m going stir crazy

OMG IM SO BORED

Is there a DZ game stream tonight or am I crazy?

Look how pretty my lil babies are! They’re in that teenage awkward phase 😂 #kittens

It’s me boys first snow! #kittens *don’t judge my sniffs it’s very very cold*