I’m not watching the game, do the Canadiens just have no goalie or what’s happening? #dallasstars

I took a muscle relaxer, and then I got a reminder on my phone that I have to turn in some compliance stuff for my store by midnight Basically all I have to do is transfer some documents, but I’m fighting for my life

This is it for me, I’m officially perishing. My kitten caught his claw inside my nose and I jerked my head away. My nose is now pouring blood from the hole his claw ripped in my tender skin. I didn’t know this is how I’d go out, but please remember me fondly

Not only did I win $1800 at the casino today, I also hit 111,111 miles on my car on 11/11

At the casino, some days you lose, and some days you put in $100, bet $10/spin and walk out paying your mortgage and then some

First Tuesday of November, Mamdani won. Second Tuesday of November, Nico is fired. Tuesdays in November are officially the best

Can we get a livestream of this firing meeting, @dallasmavs.bsky.social?

I screenshotted the espn notification to keep forever I’ve been waiting on that notification since Feb 2nd

I’m just so happy Justice feels like it’s never truly served, so this is just a sweet, sweet feeling

I’m still sitting on the floor 😂

This fully stopped me down. I’m now sitting on the floor in the exact spot I read the news, just reading more I’m so insanely happy No, I’m still not a fan, but it’s one step closer to reconciliation

I literally just screamed so loud when I saw the news

ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING!!!!!! FUCK YOU NICO!!!!!!!

Having responsible adult friends is so nice. In college we would split everything so no one overpaid. Now we’re like, “Well I got the hotel in Vegas, but you bought our flights to LA, but I paid for the Airbnb, but then you paid for my IV when I was hungover…meh let’s call it even”

My besties and I are making plans to spend the weekend before Thanksgiving together and one friend in the text group wasn’t texting back. I started talking shit and turns out my man has Covid. Oops 💀

I forgot my bluesky password for a hot minute lol

THE NAME IS MAMDANI

Holyyyyy fuck what a fucking game

I should probably stop getting Taco Bell late at night on a weekday

No but fr I think I just witnessed a domestic at Taco Bell omg 😭😭😭

I keep talking myself out of going to Taco Bell, someone refute that kthnxbye

I think I’m just going to start posting the same things on Twitter and bluesky. So, sorry if you follow me on both #notsorry

Fuck Nico fr

Oh no, did Blake lose the video to this epi?

Still can’t believe I was on the dumb zone yesterday 😂

If anyone wants Geek Bars, holla at me

When I was 16, my family climbed a Mayan ruin in Mexico. It was 120 degrees and I was so hungover and dehydrated that I thought I may simply disintegrate at the top of that temple When we got to the bottom, my dad, in all seriousness, offered me $1000 to go get him a bottle of water and I said no

I’ve had a migraine for two days and I just hit my head on a shelf in the exact spot I’ve had a migraine 😫

Ohhh I’m so hungover I got some good news yesterday and celebrated a little too hard…it was still worth it though. I’m so happy ☺️

This is making me so nervous

NOOOOOO I was about to dab a dollop of rosin and I dropped it on the carpet 😫

I dunno if the word you want to be called as a pitcher is “courageous”

Aww these lil players look tired

Don’t be cryin’ about your fingers when you’re the one that bunted

That hunny p hit his hand first

Someone tell me why I agreed to play in a softball tournament tomorrow morning 😫

My college friend pulled out his gold Amex and then tried to mansplain finances and real estate to me like I don’t know ball… Baby boy I was in this game while you were still trying to be a SoundCloud rapper

I get a lot of “Hey Alexa” jokes when I introduce myself, but I’ve yet to hear, “hey Alexa, how many bitches can we fit in the Tesla?” The day I get that response will be the day I meet my soulmate

Thought about making a dating app profile, got Taco Bell instead #ganggang

If the Stars win I’m getting Taco Bell

My friend is stopping to have dinner with me on his way back to Dallas from Tulsa tomorrow… I wonder if I can get him to stop at a Whole Foods in Tulsa and bring me some stuff

My presence is a present, kiss my ass

O. M. G. I realized why I’ve been bitching so much recently. I haven’t been yelling at sports on tv

My current accountant is the best accountant I’ve ever dealt with. This man is having issues with his neck and back and keeps having surgery. Today he told me that he understands if I fire him Dawg you aren’t getting fired until you’re dead

Isiah Kiner-Falefa?!

We switched to pre-pack, so for the last several days I’ve been working on a new pricing structure to ensure my customers still get bulk discounts I’ve already done so much of the work in my POS, and I’m now realizing this idea is impossible to scale due to how growers are now pricing their flower

Welcome to my account, where apparently I just bitch now

Actually, what I really need to clarify is why in the hell I live in this place 😂 You have to be a resident of OK to own a medical marijuana business So if I wanna be a baddie biz owner, I gotta sacrifice living around other baddies too 😔

I feel the need to clarify, the only reason I go to Walmart is because it’s literally the only store here There’s two “hometown” grocery stores that are somehow worse All three stores consistently have expired products on shelves and moldy produce

Call me a woke liberal, call me a pussy, call me whatever you wanna call me, but I don’t feel safe being in a store when people are open carrying. It’s a Walmart bro, get the pistol off your hip