I started my period and I can’t sleep so now I’m just crampy and grumpy

There’s some things only god can forgive….. and I don’t believe in god so protect ya neck

I swear, two drinks in and I have the confidence of a white man who’s never known adversity

I took my car to get an oil change and I triple checked there was no weed in my center console. I got my car back, opened the center console and there was a bag of weed

I made the mistake of going out in public in Oklahoma today and now I’m just in a bad mood and hate everyone

I can’t sleep so I just inhaled a piece of apple pie from my garage fridge, and I left the spoon in the fridge in case I go back for more

It’s not Christmas until you get a text from a customer asking if we’re open today

I really need my friends to get into Trixie and Katya as much as I am

I’m gonna eat Taco Bell in bed and you can’t stop me

My town is small enough that I try to find the closest license plate to mine, the guy in front of me is close with mine being 685 and his being 751. The closest I’ve seen is 12 away from mine, as you were clearly wondering

Is anyone else ecstatic that Timothee Chalamet is living his best life and rapping with EsDeeKid? Bruh has waited his whole lil existence for this

Can my vision board just be dollar signs?

I’m walking through the casino and you’d be plum shocked at how dry my contacts are

“No, no, it’s not a throuple because they aren’t dating. I just have two boyfriends”

DoorDash doesn’t deliver alcohol in Durant?! 😫

I love seeing Dirk on my tv 🥹

Cutest brothers in town #kittens

Baby teeth A bright future Childlike wonder

An old lady stopped at the top of the escalator in front of me and I pushed her 😭 Like I’m so sorry, but you can’t just dead stop when there’s an escalator full of people behind you

I don’t understand some business owners… Another business owner in town keeps snooping at my store, trying to catch me out of compliance. He also keeps cloaking it as “trying to help”, nah dawg you’re just trying to get me shut down because you can’t compete 😂

My sister sent me this photo from the Lakers game tonight. I barely even noticed LeBron

Imma crowdsource this…. should I get Whataburger or Taco Bell for my midnight snack?

“How come when you’re hungover your teeth feel so..sharp? Like it feels like they’re serrated” - my 44 year old sister Dawg I have never experienced this, nor heard anyone say anything like this, in my entire life

I just had to pull one of my very long hairs out of my kitten’s butt…. 😑

There’s talk of putting an ICE detention center in Durant. Bruh I will actually riot. Leave them the fuck alone

This is about to sound lame as hell…but these artists deadass changed my life

Oh, you think I play too much? I’m not working this hard to not enjoy it

It’s almost a wrap on Friendsgiving 2025

In an eyelash?!

Omg Bichsel ☹️

Two of my besties and I are staying in a tri-level townhouse. We’re each staying on a different floor and there’s much different music coming from each 😂 Floor 1: Jordan playing the Wicked soundtrack Floor 2: me listening to NLE Choppa Floor 3: Brad blaring white noise because he’s still asleep

Psychologically addictive? Sure Physically addictive? No

This video of Trump talking about the shooting is AI right?

Happy anniversary to my bestie and her man! I don’t have a good pic of them from their wedding so I’m posting myself 😂

I’m at the one and only steakhouse in Durant. At lunch they have a chicken caesar salad wrap, but on their dinner menu they just have the salad. I asked if they could make it into a wrap and she said no… I mean, can’t you just bring me the tortilla on the side? Dafuq?

The girls in the group planned SO hard for Friendsgiving….and then the one man who’s flying in missed his flight 😑

I’m not watching the game, do the Canadiens just have no goalie or what’s happening? #dallasstars

I took a muscle relaxer, and then I got a reminder on my phone that I have to turn in some compliance stuff for my store by midnight Basically all I have to do is transfer some documents, but I’m fighting for my life

This is it for me, I’m officially perishing. My kitten caught his claw inside my nose and I jerked my head away. My nose is now pouring blood from the hole his claw ripped in my tender skin. I didn’t know this is how I’d go out, but please remember me fondly

Not only did I win $1800 at the casino today, I also hit 111,111 miles on my car on 11/11

At the casino, some days you lose, and some days you put in $100, bet $10/spin and walk out paying your mortgage and then some

First Tuesday of November, Mamdani won. Second Tuesday of November, Nico is fired. Tuesdays in November are officially the best

Can we get a livestream of this firing meeting, @dallasmavs.bsky.social?

I screenshotted the espn notification to keep forever I’ve been waiting on that notification since Feb 2nd

I’m just so happy Justice feels like it’s never truly served, so this is just a sweet, sweet feeling

I’m still sitting on the floor 😂

This fully stopped me down. I’m now sitting on the floor in the exact spot I read the news, just reading more I’m so insanely happy No, I’m still not a fan, but it’s one step closer to reconciliation

I literally just screamed so loud when I saw the news

ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING!!!!!! FUCK YOU NICO!!!!!!!

Having responsible adult friends is so nice. In college we would split everything so no one overpaid. Now we’re like, “Well I got the hotel in Vegas, but you bought our flights to LA, but I paid for the Airbnb, but then you paid for my IV when I was hungover…meh let’s call it even”