White people love Benihanas (I’m white people)

“Clearly we’re homies, you invited me to the symphony” - Something I literally just said right now

Straight Edge Fidlar

I feel like a good rap line would be something like, “on Natalie’s dick like Moby,” as a literary reference to not only Herman Melville’s seminal work but also to electronic dance musician Moby being real creepy towards Natalie Portman.

I wanna see a movie where Captain America becomes a teacher in an inner city school and teaches a bunch of kid how to cheat on the SAT

Lowkey kinda crazy how I take my ADHD medication and all of a sudden it doesn’t feel like time is just melting away and I seemingly have control over how I regulate my attention…

I’m seeing a 10:30pm 4DX showing of Mickey 17 by myself and there’s no way these employees don’t think I’m high as fuck.

You know the diner’s good when the waiter laughs at you for ordering your steak rare

Here’s a video I made about a sick move Ura hit in the last basho since we can post videos longer than a minute now.

I desperately need people to buy calendars from 1997…

Was it incredibly hurtful when someone told me point blank they “liked me better” when I’m on my ADHD medication? Yes Do I kinda like myself better when I’m on my ADHD medication? Also yes.

A lot of people don’t know the Black Eyed Peas recorded another version of Let’s Get it Started with VERY different lyrics.

while we’re on the topic of tiktok privacy concerns, reminder that meta turns over private DMs and data to the police that has been used to prosecute a young woman for getting an abortion as a teenager

Woke up from a dream where I was violently attacked by an emu outside an A&W. There’s gotta be a deeper meaning here, right?

David Lynch - forever and always, fix your hearts or die

Wait, people are starting to follow me here, does that mean I have to actually tweet… I mean Bluesky… I mean post

Last night I saw the aftermath of multiple cop cars running over their own spike strips, I literally cannot think of a more obvious metaphor for policing in this country.

I understand a hospital is an inappropriate place to insert myself into a conversation about Weird Al. Please applaud my strength of will.

Twitter has literally just become the biggest idiots in the world arguing amongst themselves and then a porn bot chimes in with some nonsense.

Did the assassin just get milkshake ducked?

So funny watching the local news dance around the CEO assassination. “A case that has captivated the public.” Hmm why might they be captivated? Is it because the public is kinda rooting for the assassin?

Are we allowed to admit all the changes to Twitter after the takeover did like serious culture damage? We all hung on thinking we were smarter than all the bots and boosting of shitty takes. But hella people definitely fell for that shit.

Scooby Doo should get a lot more credit for speaking multiple languages and being a dog who smokes weed

This app is better than the other one in nearly every single way, except there’s far too few Gerry Adams memes

Thank you @pacingmusic.bsky.social for finally following me back

It seems like seeing less annoying people on my feed has somehow led to less of a compulsion to doomscroll, which is nice… but I don’t know what to do with all this free time.

Just rewatched @foldablehuman.bsky.social’s video on Vidme in the context of this whole Bluesky thing. Not sure if much of it applies, but I’m just really struck by how none of us could’ve predicted the bizarro internet hellscape we’ve found ourselves in. youtu.be/r3snVCRo_bI?...

Surprised all the judges scored it the same, but not the worst decision in the world. Had it as a draw if you scored the 2nd 10-9 when Taylor was saved by the bell, Serrano by 1 if you give her a 10-8

Really says a lot that my feed isn’t inundated with a bunch of people pretending they know everything about boxing.

I thought it would be freeing to start an account where, for example, I can talk shit about Alien Ant Farm without hundreds of people coming for my throat, but it seems like somewhere along the line I’ve lost the part of my brain that yearns to shitpost.

Where’s on Twitter I hid my internet niche microinfluencer 2nd life, I vow to be completely open and honest about it here, while still doing everything I can to make sure nobody finds me.

I have followed like 10 people and like 0 posts and for some reason my entire feed is just purely drawn anime fan art. There is something algorithmically going on here that reflects very poorly on me.