If you don't call it a war, then there can't be any war crimes now, can there?

I wish men would make up their minds whether so few men are sex predators that it would be unfair and insulting to tar us all with one brush, or if so many men are sex predators that we have to reach out and forgive their crimes if we are ever, ever to achieve an electoral majority in America.

Well, I don't know why I came here tonight Here in Innsmouth, something just isn't right Something's fishy, and i don't understand! And there's webbing forming on my left hand Gods to the left of me, Soggoths to the right Here I am, stuck in the middle...with Cthulhu

Someone sang a song about SEX & CHOCOLATE, in part lamenting that Julie Andrews never included those in "My Favorite Things" Leather-clad dommes who will show us no mercies Sweet oral kisses, both French ones and Hersheys Lady Godiva removing her things These are just some of our favorite things.

The DoJ has the opportunity to do the funniest thing and redact exactly 18 1/2 pages of the files.

That Awkward Moment when the local County Democratic Party takes up a resolution to express what should be done about Gaza. (cue Benny Hill music...)

That Awkward Moment when you start hearing the voice of Ke Huy Quan in your head urging you to pick someone else's nose to change the timeline, gain kung fu powers, and cause Harris to have been elected President. #EverythingEverywhereAllAtOnce

Have you seen the "quiet piggy" In her short white skirt? You will find the "quiet piggy" Digging up the dirt On the President To spread around him. (Moral: Do not insult journalists, for your reputation is crunchy and already smothered in ketchup. Quiet piggies are quietly efficient.)

Old King Cole was a merry ol' soul And a merry ol' soul was he He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl And he called for the release of the Epstein Files!

So...tip jars at supermarket checkout stations are a thing, now? Has the 1% simply made a pact that anyone who interacts with customers will now be paid substandard wages such that the general public is expected to make it up beyond the price we pay for whatever we're buying?

I will never not pause to watch this. This is how you deal with the Hard Right. www.youtube.com/watch?v=JObn...

In the town where I was born Lived a man who sailed the seas And he told me-- "Release the Epstein Files!"

And when the broken hearted people Living in the world agree There will be an answer: Release the Epstein files!

What you want...Baby, I got it What you need...You know I got it All I'm askin' Is for the Epstein Files! (just release the files) (just release the files) (just release the files) (just release the files) E-P-S-T-E-I-N! Show us all what lies within E-P-S-T-E-I-N! Don't make me sing it again

In the clearing stands a boxer And a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders Of every glove that laid him down Or cut him till he cried out In his grimaces and smiles "Please release them, please release them "Please release the Epstein files!"

Come on, people now Smile on your brother Everybody get together Gotta release the Epstein files now.

...and so to bed.

My health insurance provider has announced that my health insurance premiums will more than double in 2026, rising to more than the American median annual income. And Senate Democrats just voted to make that increase BIPARTISAN. I will not be donating to food banks or campaigns anytime soon.

Every race. It’s basically been every race. Governors. Mayors. Long-held Republican dog-catchers. School boards. Water boards. Flipped a dungeon master in a rural Iowa D&D club. State senators. State reps. A janitor in Duluth. State justices. Three Republican Uber drivers. Just everything.

I'm looking forward to editorials all across America tomorrow, proclaiming that the Republicans have failed and that they must move far, far to the left to woo moderate Republican voters if they are to ever become relevant again. Right? RIGHT?

Shout-Out to the heroic demon hunters who will now have to cross the Wine-Dark Sea to Skull Island, trudge through Yucky Swamp, scale the Cliffs of Insanity and climb Mount Doom to get to Castle Sinister...(continued)

Gerson Boom says "Trick or treat!" #BoogaBoogaKiddies!

A big thing in the neighborhood: Empty boxes in front of the door with a sign reading "Please take one." Choose from: (1) Asshole neighbor found a convenient Scrooge way to get people to not knock on the door, or (2) Asshole kid came before you and took the whole boxful.

Shady Vance arranged for Erikkka Kirk to become an available blonde widow. You heard it from me first. Watch for Usha to have a convenient "accident" pretty soon so that Shady can remarry and have acceptably White children.

POINT/COUNTERPOINT: Thesis: Let it snow! Antithesis: Bismillah, NO! We will not let it snow! What do YOU think?

That Awkward Moment when you "like" a post that says "Stop defending billionaires and start taxing them", and then you look again and realize that it says "taxing", and not "tasing" like you thought, and you = "Meh, that's cool too".

Because of me, they now have a warning!

We're in love with a big balloon frog And the big balloon frog loves us It's not as strange as it appears He stops fascists and his name is Gus!

Here, have a district map of California with 52 Dem districts. davesredistricting.org/maps#viewmap...

Heard RFK Jr. described as "the Marvelous Mrs. Measles" and I'm dead now

1: Destroy Federal Government 2: ????? 3: RULE AMERICA!!!

As civilization advances and becomes more wonderful and complex, those men whose skillsets primarily involve fighting, killing people, and breaking things become ever-less valued compared to those of people who think, who build, who create, who organize, who network, form & nurture social structures

SEEN ELSEWHERE: "Taylor's new album is fine, but Travis needs to fuck up in a fairly significant way before her next one."

When I was young, I seethed with rage & loathing for my ideological enemies. I lacked patience & compassion, refusing to countenance the possibility there might be any validity to their awful ideas. I dismissed them as ignorant, cruel, & worthless. Now, many years later, I am no longer young.

Gavin Newsom responds to whatever the heck that Pete Hegseth speech was

Drunk Pete is going to Red-Wedding ALL of them and make admirals and generals out of a bunch of incompetent roided-up gym bros whose main military experience has been racking up high scores in Warfighter 2. You read it here first.

War-Ravaged Portland is now the name of my Decemberists cover band.

DINOSAUR: Why does Harker go to Castle Dracula? ME: Because Dracula invited him. DINOSAUR: But why does he GO? ME: He doesn't know Dracula is a vampire. DINOSAUR: But his name is Dracula!

They are SO incompetent! (How incompetent ARE they?) SO incompetent that they wrote "Anti-ICE". Not "Fuck ICE" or "ICE = Nazis" or even "Kill Whitey"...but "Anti ICE" See also: the 19th century Ken Burns drivel presented to us as "correspondence between Tyler Robinson and his trans antifa lover".

*SQUAWK* Polly wanna cracker! Allo! Allo! You're a birdbrain! *SQUAWK* (Listens to earpiece) What's that? Oh....oops. (clears throat) Arr! Hand over yer treasure, or I'll sliver yer gizzard! Arr!

When it finally happens, it will be natural causes, but they're gonna secretly take his corpse to a big blue state city and make it look like a Liberal trans immigrant BLM activist on fentanyl killed him. You heard it here first.

My Beast Mode has downgraded to Varmint Mode.

GETTING OFF ON TECHNICALITIES: Why fines are unjust. Where the poor see a WARNING in the criminal code, the rich see an ADVERTISEMENT. "Don't do it--a $2000 fine!" vs. "And for just $2000 a go, you can do this!"

What is happening in the churches that is radicalizing young white men against America this way?

Yuh know what I hate about them libtard socialist illegal ivory tower elite homeless pronoun fenatanyl grooming drag queen DEI BLM critical race shrill feminazi cat lady fuckstick idiot gay cuck femboi vegan coastal urban jungle miscegenating hippie freaks? It's that they're always calling us NAMES!

....and it turns out he fits the typical shooter profile almost perfectly. White dude, 22, Trump supporter, Republican family steeped in gun culture, father is both a minister AND law enforcement. All we need now is the disclosure of his history of violence against women.

Which inspires more LOLSOB? 1). Liberals in 2025 saying they're concerned that America might descend into violence; or 2). Conservatives in 2025 shouting "That's it! No more Mr. Nice Guy!"

Men are weird: Half the dudes on my social media feed = "He must have been ex special forces to execute a kill shot from 200 yards and get clean away" and the other half = "I could have done it easy" I know what I know of this from cop shows on TV.

THEM: I am stunned and shaken by the assassination of Charlie Kirk. He had a right to his views and from everything I've seen, he engaged in civil debate with people with whom he disagreed. ME: So you like Nazis, now? Did you also mourn when Osama Bin Laden was killed? THEM: Omg UNFOLLOWED!!!!

Osama Bin Laden is dead.