NOTHING BUT GOOD TIMES AHEAD: Omigosh, this is going to be GREAT! I hope it's built by the same guys who did the Reflecting Pool, and that all his biggest donors are riding it when the foreseeable results happen.

MY HEALTH, MY HEALTH--it keeps changing around Triglycerides up, and cholesterol's down I'm in great "shape" if you really like round! My health, my health (Your health, your health) My health, my health... It keeps changing around!

HILLBILLY ALGAE:

TODAY'S SERVING OF VOCLBERRIES: Algaefa: (pl. n) Alleged saboteurs at the Reflecting Pool. "Are these Algaefa in the room with us now?"

As you heal, your attractions change too. Toxicity stops looking like excitement and peace stops feeling like boredom.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: How should it be announced that the judge is taking the bench? 1). All rise. The court of blah-blah-blah is now in session, the Honorable Whatsisname presiding. 2). Here come De Judge. Here come De Judge.... 3). The Thor Song, as performed by a barbershop of bailiffs

It must be a hoot trying to play board games with Republicans. "I don't care what your snooty, elitist, politically correct Big Guv'mint "rules" say! I'll be damned if I let just anybody get $200 just for passing Go unless they show me proper ID and tell me what they did to EARN it!"

I believe we can expect a Federal ruling any day now, to the effect that laws against domestic violence are an unconstitutional interference with the Biblical right of the male "head of the household" to discipline his wife for disobedience.

My experience is that everyone younger than Millennials pretty much expects that nothing good is going to happen ever again. Like an older person with a trick knee coming to accept that that's just going to twinge and ache for the rest of their life, now, except about---everything.

Hey, fellow Gen X - are you getting flashbacks to the night the Berlin Wall fell, too, or EDIT: goddamnit, scaffold sheeting

“Republicans calling James Talarico dangerous while nominating Ken Paxton is like warning people about the health risks of blueberries while smoking meth through a leaf blower.” --attributed to John Fugelsang

So the Spurs were ahead by 30 points, and somehow NY just "found" the exact number of points needed to win? 🙄

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: When homophobes have demonstrations against same-sex marriage, is that called a "Prejudice Parade"? Think about it...

Did NO ONE think to do this while he slept? You're slipping up, dudes.

"Housing the homeless in jail costs the taxpayers too much. We'll have to kill them." ---attributed to Russell Vought

June is busting out like Andy Dufresne!

It's the thought that counts.

Very Perky Group Fitness Instructor: Stay hydrated! You are all AI data centers! Drink lots of water! Me: That's not how this works! I am an *I* data center!

Wot would you think if I fucked up on line? Would you throw a tomato at me? Scroll down my feed and I'll sing you a joke And I'll try not to use "covfefe" Oh, I get by with a little help in the end Ooh, I get high somewhere between Eugene and Bend Ahh, gonna try to think before I hit "send"

Trump signs executive order declaring it illegal to pull out of the Trump Freedom Concert ICE to round up musicians across the nation, put them all in a big WWF arena, and shoot at their feet while yelling "Dance! DANCE!" Media praises aggressive approach to "intolerant woke music industry".

Breaking news! Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem announced today that they are pulling out of the Trump Freedom 250 concert.

We...are the single malts We go with anything And if you think we don't Just have a dram, and sing That's why the Crystal Gems enjoy a drop a' Ardbeg, Glen Moray...and Banff ...And SCAPA!

MY GUARDIAN ANGEL DRINKS: I know this because I mix the cocktails for her. She folds a feathered wing around me and says, "You be careful you rashcal, I have ninzha shkills, you know...but I like you..."

If good-looking people with hot bodies are called 'eye candy', then I guess that makes me more like 'eye whiskey'. Complex. Rich. Full-bodied. Strong. An acquired taste, maybe, but warm and prone to re-kindle long-dormant passions, and to be on hand to toast the health of those most dear to you.

“People, close your eyes and dream—the day that the electorate in this nation we call home repudiates this putrid administration, my brother, there will be a joyful noise from the bowels of this great country that will make Hungary’s repudiation of Orban look like an Amish Sabbath.” —Jon Stewart

They're graspy and they're greedy Abusive, crass and seedy They love to screw the needy It's Donald's family! They play disgusting music That makes me sick and you sick His brain's begun to ooze--Ick It's Donald's family

“CIA director John Ratcliffe traveled to Cuba, which has run out of oil and is experiencing massive blackouts. We sent the CIA director because the FBI guy is also experiencing massive blackouts.” —Colin Jost, SNL

DID YOU KNOW?---the more wily male spiders, mantises and other species where the female is bigger and FUCKING EATS THEM during sex are able to survive if they think to bring a fly or cricket or some other tasty gift for her to eat instead while they finish copulating and escape.

Ruin a first date using fourteen words.

All of God's creatures have a place on the fire On kabobs or wrapped in wire Eat them in sweats or formal attire With a side of fries, or tots, or anything you've got, now

Who will be President 16 years from now, because "Leftists" refuse to dirty their fingers by voting for AOC, who will inspire people to say "In retrospect, you know, Trump really wasn't all that bad"?

I am against abortion, with limited exceptions for special circumstances, such as when the woman does not want to have a baby.

DID YOU KNOW???--The Minnesota House of Representatives just passed a bill outlawing the use of AI to nudify photographs of children. The bill passed almost unanimously. In fact, only ONE legislator, a Republican, voted against it. THIS guy. And his name is ROACH. How appropriate.

I did NOT have "Media chooses photo of Black crime suspect looking like your friendly, trustworthy neighbor" on my Bingo card.

"If you take advantage of her, you're going to the special Hell that they reserve for child molesters and people who leave laugh reacts on #MeToo posts." ---attributed to Shepherd Book

"Disturbance At Correspondents Dinner; Trump Evacuated" Yes, I'm sure he did.

(Hoo-haw!....Hoo-haw!...) That's the sound of the men writing for the Baen gaaaaang That's the sound of the men writing for the Baen gang. All day long, they're singing Oooooh, how I want a Hugo. One of these days, I'll take one home

SCARING PEOPLE AT THE GYM: Very Perky Group Fitness Instructor: And SQUAT, two, three, four---Come on! ACTIVATE your glutes!!! And I mentally give thanks that I am unable to fart loudly as the whim strikes me. I don't think I could have resisted the temptation there.

MY SHOPPING LIST: Spoons Cope Sorts Fucks to give Bubblegum

I for one feel safer when I know Kash Patel is drunk and fucking off, instead of tampering with Federal law enforcement. Don't you?

That VAW site was visited by 62 million men....and not even ONE bear. Now do you understand?

Men: Every woman has at least one abuse/harassment story, and every woman who trusts you has told you about it. If you've heard a lot of their truths, you know I'm right. And if you've heard few or none, then you too have something to think over. Men started rape culture. Men can stop it.

We're already about to face shortages because the Republicans fucked up the Straits of Hormuz...and now we're getting a wave of people burning down the places where the existing stuff is stored. PAY THE DAMN WORKERS ALREADY! All you have to do is pay them enough to live.

Aaaaannnnd....Orban is OUT! 55 seats in the Hungarian Parliament to the opposition's 137. That is a MASSIVE landslide for Magyar. May America get the same, in November.

That Awkward Moment when the Libertarians come to sign up for the Resistance, and they = "Yeah, we were fine with all that Nazi stuff, deporting legal residents, anti-trans genocide, and crackdowns on civil liberties, threatening the Pope--but then he fucked up gas prices, and enough is enough!"

"I cast Fireball!" "Miles, you are not allowed to cast Fireball." "Why not?" "Because we are doing your taxes, and there is no Fireball spell when doing taxes." "Well....there should be."

All they had to do was pay their employees enough to live.

You will not learn to prepare to serve in the Resistance to 2027 martial law in America by studying HUNGER GAMES or V. You will learn by studying HOGAN'S HEROES.