It's always a good day to not let anything bother you.

"All of us are subject to being passive to the social ills around us. It's a struggle not to become, by staying silent, an accomplice." Mary Travers, of Peter Paul and Mary

My favorite mythical creature is someone who understands me.

I loved her, but she was kind enough to remain oblivious.

Math is easy; aftermath is hard

I must say one of the biggest benefits from being on social media, is all the money I've saved on birthday cards over the years.

If your summer activities don't include rolling down the windows and listening to the music loud while going on long drives, we can't be friends. Well... we can, but you still suck.

💁🏼‍♀️💅🏼

please excuse me while i slip into something a little more comfortable (a tattoo shop)

Tariff this! *crotch chop*

I’m really, really good at bad decisions.

[watching someone cross the street]: ugh, how pedestrian

*In the back of a police car* Road trip? Road trip!

Be your own beautiful mess. Someone will love you regardless.

Relationships used to last longer when the internet was slower.

Find a person who will never let your curiosity and imagination die and spend your life laughing, dancing and exploring all that scares you with that person.

If you have nothing to say, why not try just saying nothing?

wife: *winking* the kids are out all evening, are you thinking what I’m thinking? me: *already setting up the Risk gameboard* I’m way ahead of you babe

don’t make me turn this country around

SCIENCE: the atoms in your body have existed for billions of years and you are just their latest form ME: so even atoms make mistakes

To really know people, you have to give them their fifteen minutes of fame and see how they use them.

Nature’s masterpiece! Behold the beautiful Mandarin duck (Aix galericulata).

There was an actual tapestry. Inside the original double album cover is an image of the needlepoint I worked on when I wasn't playing or singing. You can see where I stitched the words "thank you" before I gave it to Lou. From "A Natural Woman" Photo by Jim McCrary Courtesy Lou Adler / Ode Records

💕

I don’t have a bucket list; I have a list of things I’d rather die than do.

I’ve never made it big in life, but when I was a guppy, a group of tourists asked to take a photo with me on the beach.

Use my influencer code to unlock eternal darkness.

this mofo 😆

“Life, liberty and the pursuit of tax breaks”

Jeff Bezos’ $50 million wedding while millions struggle to make ends meet ? That pretty much summarizes where we are as a country now.

Never will one man’s death be such a huge relief to the world.

this humidity is ̶m̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶h̶a̶i̶r̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶a̶m̶a̶z̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶ killing me i meant killing me 😬

It is more or less secure if I also don't know any of my passwords or PIN codes

I hate people collectively, but adore so many individually.

I feel like I missed my calling proving to women they’re gay.

Realized that i was contorting myself to fit into a box that was never meant for me so i stepped away from that and it's so much better

I never knew at least half of this country hated human beings so much

The whole system is hanging by a thread, and these world leaders are all running with scissors.

if by people skills you mean avoiding them then hell yeah i have people skills

I'm not easy to love and that's an absolute fact; but I'm so fucking worth it.

a Russian goodbye is just an Irish goodbye but with more Molotov cocktails

I’ve got scars, I’ve got this

Also, there's no such thing as too much coffee.

There's no such thing as a bad time for coffee.

My coffee orders any given day... 1. Undertow 2. Cuban espresso 3. Flat white (with an extra shot) 4. Doppio

Every time I walk out of my office, I smack my own ass. In case you're looking for someone who is great at self motivation.

Baseball would be better if the announcers cussed

Lately I’ve just been allowing my apps to track my activity across other devices. Idgaf anymore