Data centers are coming for your town too….

I’ll give him one thing. Threatening to kill members of Congress sure took the bit about him calling a female reporter “piggy” off the front page.

Look at that picture. Look at it again. Defend it. I dare you. Imagine a man raising his finger like that to your daughter. Your wife. Your sister. Your mother. You’d break it off in his ass. Strong men don’t act like this. You know who acts like this? Cunts.

Never in my life have I heard the term “underage man”.

Online wags started calling Megyn Kelly “Megyn R. Kelly” and this is why I keep logging on…

“….. If it comes down to the children, or owning the libs….well…sorry kiddos. In the MAGAverse, morality becomes a Kissingerian concept. So you’re all Cambodians now…”

“He was the most popular black entertainer in America, largely due to his appeal to white audiences. And yet, there were still places in his own country where he could not get a meal….”

MAGA bros watching the results come in last night….

If they can come here, they can go anywhere…

77 million Americans are actively celebrating the fact that millions of their neighbors, including children, are about to go hungry.

Saw the Springsteen movie tonight. It was good. My only issue? Jeremy Allen White can learn how to cook for The Bear but he can’t learn how to play a D chord?

Trump about to put a tariff on the Toronto Blue Jays

“ICE and immigration enforcement has $170 billion dollars to spend over the next 4 years. To put that into some sort of perspective, Israel’s military budget over the same period is $54 billion. When adjusted for inflation, the ICE budget rivals the annual cost of the entire Vietnam War….”

“The East Wing of the White House is currently being bulldozed to make room for Trump’s 90,000 square foot Mar-a-Lago-esque ballroom, which when complete will surely look like a gold-plated opium den….”

“….. The soul is both a terrible thing to waste, and difficult to re-create in Python or Java. The soul is what put “napoleon in rags” inside “Like a Rolling Stone”. If you’re trying to re-create Dylan using 0s and 1s, you’re gonna need a bigger data center…”

In this type of environment, individuals are powerless. They can easily be propagandized into dust. But when many rise as one, and by “many” I mean volumes that require helicopters to estimate, evil trembles. Evil fears a mass movement even more than it fears ridicule.

The president was asked if he had given any thought to suspending habeas corpus and he responded “suspending who?” This could mean 2 things. 1. He didn’t hear the question 2. He doesn’t know what habeas corpus is Which is more likely?

Remember when Jerry MaGuire said that working for his client Rod Tidwell was an “up at dawn pride swallowing siege”? That’s the perfect description of being a Phillies fan.

“…. aren’t the ones perpetually bitching about the half-time show the same crew who swore they’d never watch the NFL again after Colin Kaepernick took a knee? How did you dudes get back in here anyway?”

“…..most of ‘em have to look at Trump and Hegseth and see little boys playing soldier. Most of them have to be uniquely embarrassed that they were summoned and lectured by two guys who shit themselves when a trans person walks into the room…”

“Here was the so-called leader of the free world making about as much sense as a guy 24 Miller Lites deep at 2am. It was like watching a Ted Talk from Dr Strangelove….”

I’ve had 2am conversations with guys 24 Miller Lites deep that made more sense than Trump at the UN today

At this point I’m actively rooting for the rapture.

“I don’t have the stomach to re-hash the whole Jimmy Kimmel affair, except to say that giving the bully your lunch money does not stop the bully. It amazes me that corporate types do not grasp what was learned in the schoolyard….”

Trying to reason with these people is like trying to administer eye drops to a dog.

That sound you hear is nobody taking about the Epstein files anymore.

“If you were influenced by Charlie Kirk, you could also be influenced by my drunken racist misogynist uncle. We are not exactly talking the best and the brightest here. But I never wished for anybody to shoot my drunken racist misogynist uncle in the neck….”

Who did this???

Wait. So Trump is Donnie Brasco now? I can’t keep up

My favorite RFK Jr bits are when he’s confronted with some crazy shit he said, categorically denies that he said it, and then is confronted with the actual tape of him saying it.

What exactly is the cult going to do when he goes? Will they immediately transfer their love and adoration to JD Vance….replacing Trump’s orange face paint with Vance’s Billy Joe Armstrong’s Green Day eye-liner? Or will the MAGA movement collapse and piss all over itself like Stalin having a stroke?

Somebody just referred to Trump’s somewhat flabby ICE stormtroopers as “Gravy Seals” and now I can’t quit that.

“I don’t pretend to have any answers. Looking at America’s hard-on for guns would surely be a good place to start, but that seems as far away as a colony on Mars….”

For the love of Blanket Jackson now the MAGAs are mad because Cracker Barrel changed their logo. These people are more fragile than my Mom’s Waterford crystal.

“To be fair, I also think my columns (I use this word because I am the son of a newspaperman. I hate the word “blogs” because it sounds dilettante-y….and “essays” is way too Walden Pond for me) are pretty good. Sometimes nearly AS good as a pint of Guinness….”

Homophobic MAGA bros suddenly gay for Putin is wild, yo. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I’ve been singing the wrong words to Toto’s “Africa” for 43 years

So if that guy throws 33 more sandwiches at ICE he could have as many felonies as Trump.

“I often write of my Father in these pages. He’s gone 15 years now. He was a journalist. He was honest and fair and kept his personal opinions to himself. He quickly caught on that, while Nixon was a petty gangster, Reagan was the real boogeyman….”

A president who doesn’t know what a tariff is is like a math professor not knowing the multiplication tables. I cannot fathom that this is actually happening in broad daylight. We are the dumbest nation in the history of the planet.

“He cannot decide which argument to make. There is no list. There is a list but it only has democrats on it. The list was written BY democrats. The list is buried in Area 51. Which is why when Republican lawmakers are forced to defend him, they end up sounding like they embrace pedophiles.”

I have absolutely no idea how anybody affords anything.

The MAGA dude running for the Senate misspelled the name of his own state in his first campaign ad and I feel like this explains just about everything I can possibly think of.

I’d rather live in a world where the death of Tom Lehrer means more than the death of Hulk Hogan, but that’s not this place. RIP to an authentic American genius.