Harry Potter? More like Harry Pooper, am I right??

NAFO are mostly basement dwelling losers simping after twentysomething Ukrainian widows who aren't going to shag them, so give it up lads.

He's playing a blinder.

Schrödinger's Centrist: simultaneously advocating for tactical voting "to keep Reform out", but against tactical voting when it doesn't involve voting Labour.

What I'm wearing to the Oscars

Which government introduced PFI contracts, arbitrary KPIs, and further entrenched the marketisation and atomization of the NHS? And I say this as someone who nearly lost my wife and daughter due to poor maternity care and the need for an emergency C section. Take some responsibility perhaps Lizzi?

Mining the Strait of Hormuz to prevent the Epstein Alliance from invading the Alpha Quadrant:

Spurs play today.

There's definitely one massive tit here, and his name is Duncan Hothersall.

David Quantick blocking me on Twitter immediately for asking him what rock he'd been hiding under since the 1990's and politely asking him if he would mind crawling back under it again.

"Hard fiscal decisions" like having your wallet inspected Starmer and Reeves who think the economy operates like a household bank account.

Say his name and he appears: I believe in the new Supreme Leader of Iran.

*Trick Williams intro music* NUKE THAT SHIT NUKE THAT SHIT

Bit harsh. I'm very sociable and generally coherent.

I don't want to hear Americans complaining about British food ever again. Learn to cook FFS.

I'm afraid I also feel the same way about Kamala Harris. I voted for Jill Stein and the Green Party in 2024 and I have no regrets.

Lucy Bowel MP 💩

Labour Friends of Noncing

Very middle class!!

You can't be working class sitting on a chair in a swimming pool changing room like this.

You can't be working class unless you live in a pebbledash semi and your dad is a toolmaker.

I thought I recognised the name on the imprint. Anthony Lavelle is a Liverpool Labour councillor who tried and failed to unseat Ian Byrne. He also has a track record of bullying students at Hope Uni, and expressing discriminatory views about benefit claimants and people with disabilities.

Advertise your accent with a gif

The Great Noticing continues...

I've upset the angry, impotent Starmer supporters 😬

And if you don't like it, you can kiss my masala spiced beef cheeks 😘

Can't work out if this guy is a tedious ignorant Brit, or an even more tedious bootlicker West Brit. Answers on a postcard, please!

Rumour has it that Sir Keir Starmer is "a decent man", which means lying to Parliament about appointing best friends of nonces to his government is absolutely fine.

Boris Johnson was a better PM than Starmer because he at least did some infrastructure spending, even if it was bungs for safe Tory seats. He was also less socially conservative on issues like Trans rights, and less overtly supportive of genocide.

Pooper Bowl

New Labour Party Chief of Staff confirmed:

Post your favourite "Lord of the Rings" character. Wrong answers only.

Spurs play today

"You can refer to me as 'Mr Rules'"

"Your mission, commander - set up a forward base on Epstein Island, we need to destroy the evidence"

no new pictures where are you at mentally

I also have full trust in our fabulous PM Sir Keir Starmer to get the job done. Just look at his face - the steely determination, the Hollywood good looks, his forensic grasp of details. Don't fall for the Media Propaganda! Support Sir Keir!!

Another one of Starmer's "high quality candidates".

Just a bunch of great buddies hanging out having the wildest party 🎉