It would be pretty funny if Northern Starmer loses the by election to Reform and deprives Labour of the anti democratic stitch up they're clearly so desperate for.

People have been saying this?

I hear they're calling him Zack "piss boiler" Polanski these days lmao

Me anytime I'm asked to stop criticising Starmer:

Bill Gates is never coming back from this!!

He's still a decent man!!!

Duck is shite. Sorry duck.

God's Merciful Intervention is such a great name for a metal band.

I thought it was about Rachel Reeves?

I bet all the lobbying money helped to bump up the student loan contributions, eh Lizzi?

The Israel lobby directly funded at least a quarter of all MPs elected in 2024.

I support compulsory dog licences for centrist dads - for animal protection purposes, of course.

Harry Potter? More like Harry Pooper, am I right??

NAFO are mostly basement dwelling losers simping after twentysomething Ukrainian widows who aren't going to shag them, so give it up lads.

He's playing a blinder.

Schrödinger's Centrist: simultaneously advocating for tactical voting "to keep Reform out", but against tactical voting when it doesn't involve voting Labour.

What I'm wearing to the Oscars

Which government introduced PFI contracts, arbitrary KPIs, and further entrenched the marketisation and atomization of the NHS? And I say this as someone who nearly lost my wife and daughter due to poor maternity care and the need for an emergency C section. Take some responsibility perhaps Lizzi?

Mining the Strait of Hormuz to prevent the Epstein Alliance from invading the Alpha Quadrant:

Spurs play today.

There's definitely one massive tit here, and his name is Duncan Hothersall.

David Quantick blocking me on Twitter immediately for asking him what rock he'd been hiding under since the 1990's and politely asking him if he would mind crawling back under it again.

"Hard fiscal decisions" like having your wallet inspected Starmer and Reeves who think the economy operates like a household bank account.

Say his name and he appears: I believe in the new Supreme Leader of Iran.

*Trick Williams intro music* NUKE THAT SHIT NUKE THAT SHIT

Bit harsh. I'm very sociable and generally coherent.

I don't want to hear Americans complaining about British food ever again. Learn to cook FFS.

I'm afraid I also feel the same way about Kamala Harris. I voted for Jill Stein and the Green Party in 2024 and I have no regrets.

Lucy Bowel MP 💩

Labour Friends of Noncing

Very middle class!!

You can't be working class sitting on a chair in a swimming pool changing room like this.

You can't be working class unless you live in a pebbledash semi and your dad is a toolmaker.

I thought I recognised the name on the imprint. Anthony Lavelle is a Liverpool Labour councillor who tried and failed to unseat Ian Byrne. He also has a track record of bullying students at Hope Uni, and expressing discriminatory views about benefit claimants and people with disabilities.

Advertise your accent with a gif

The Great Noticing continues...

I've upset the angry, impotent Starmer supporters 😬

And if you don't like it, you can kiss my masala spiced beef cheeks 😘

Can't work out if this guy is a tedious ignorant Brit, or an even more tedious bootlicker West Brit. Answers on a postcard, please!

Rumour has it that Sir Keir Starmer is "a decent man", which means lying to Parliament about appointing best friends of nonces to his government is absolutely fine.