Realized I didn't have any merch from my latest favorite band @durrymusic.bsky.social. So I fixed that tonight by getting myself a little birthday gift! Go get some and support indie music! store.durrymusic.com?country=US

Playing Wolfenstein to feel something.

They control The House, The Senate, The White House, and The Court. But they have the audacity to blame the Democrats. Just amazing.

Y'all remember when Bob Dole did a Viagra commercial? The 90s were crazy

Ronald Reagan was left-handed and you know he hated that.

I'm bored

I'm curious, when was the last time you logged into Facebook?

I want the internet to return to its roots. I want the old Angelfire and Geocities internet. Everything is too polished and needs more glitter gifs.

I wish George Carlin was alive to see today.

Remember the time the future HHS secretary said he has worms in his brain? Those were simpler times.

Donald Trump says he is going to deploy the National Guard to Chicago. This is what weak men do to pretend they’re strong. Stay safe, stand with your community, and most importantly, know your rights:

Did David Bowie ever play Captain Kirk?

I see they interviewed my coworker.

In the future civil war, will muttonchops make a comeback?

If you're near Austin, please go to this so I can vicariously through your experience! This ticks many of my comedy boxes.

One of my greatest fears is that the bottle of Malört that haunts my house will break.

Thanks to my obsessive fandom of @durrymusic.bsky.social I am now a member of the 1%. Thanks Austin and Taryn for this honor.

It's me. I'm the one person that LOVES the candy circus peanuts. Y'all can all hate all you want. Just means more for me.

So are we supposed to keep hanging onto these Covid vaccine cards?

It has been 165 days of this four year cycle.

In honor of the brutal heat wave, yesterday you said you would call Sears. youtu.be/4rqZZgVxnCk?...

They still playing hockey in June?! Ain't all the ice melt yet?

Hey can anyone in LA confirm you have a sentient vending machine outside your apartment block that makes funny jokes?

Not a day goes by where I don't look in trees for the leprechaun. I WANNA KNOW WHERE THE GOLD AT

Who else see the leprechaun say yeah

"Yes, I understand Mr. President. Now tell me, is the DEI hire in the room with us right now?"

What if animals could talk to us but choose not to because we're all assholes?

Elonlongadingdong is such a fucking weirdo.

Whenever a low pressure front rolls in, my head hurts real bad. I'm too pretty to have pains.

So we all doing this thing here now?