Been laid out with a really horrible flu since Wednesday morning and honestly we do not give enough credit to bog-standard medicinal drugs. Imagine what life would’ve been like before paracetamol and ibuprofen.

I know a disproportionate number of people who’ve been shot in the arse. Probably about par for where I grew up but definitely on the high side for the UK as a whole.

I would keep up with all the awful news in the world but my life is now a constant loop of doing this with my cat every half an hour.

I think it shows the state that the media and political class is in that YouGov even thought this needed to be a question to poll on.

Just gritted the pavement in the village, partly to stop anyone slipping, but mostly to spite the man who, last time it snowed, complained endlessly on the local Facebook group about people of my generation “only caring about themselves and expecting other people to do that kind of thing for them”

We used to be a country

Just looking up the Aberdeen director of football (as you do) and…

Because I'm completely neurotypical, I spent the end of the year making a playlist of the 10 best songs from each year of my life. Some years were tricky because I couldn't find 10 songs, some years there was an absolute goldmine. But most years throw up wonderful combinations like this.

Taking my dad on an urgent trip to the hospital to get prodded up the arse was not on my “things to do in the dead time between Christmas and New Year” but here we are.

Modern life is rubbish (I think me and my cat would both notice if I ran out of cat litter thank you very much).

Disappointing year for getting ‘Happy Christmas’ emails from brands/companies. Just the people I bought a massage gun from and a theatre in Dunfermline this year. Everyone else is dead to me (unless they pull their finger out in the next 12 hours or so.

Darts is the cure to the male loneliness epidemic.

Attempting to have one last day of work before taking two weeks off, wish me luck! I may be a burnt out husk by the end of it. But then I can sleep for two weeks.

Darts is the cure to the male loneliness epidemic.

The internet: You should play with your cat for two or three 10-15 minute sessions per day. My cat, after 1.5 hours of playing: “Come on, where’s your stamina? We’re still playing”.

Everyone getting excited looking at their year end music things from Spotify or whatever, and here’s me sitting here with the same 15 songs it’s been for the last 5 years because that’s my spinning playlist for the gym. At least I’m consistent.

My cat discovered that she really likes being dried with a towel when she’s been caught out in the rain. Which is very sweet, except now she will deliberately go out in the rain and get a tiny bit wet just so I will dry her off. Then do it again. And again. So I am not getting any work done today.

Music is the worst for this now I think. The number of albums I bought just because the cover looked cool. Had a very good hit rate. Basically impossible to do that now. At least there are still bookshops, and places like Cex (in Britain) that sell second hand DVDs where you can still have a browse.

Big Jim Collie was 34 at the time. youtube.com/shorts/KvNNm...

Just done a workout and really need to shower but stupidly turns the football on and it’s already mad. Guess I’ll be stinking until half time then.

Simon Calder once again causing major travel disruption so he can get paid. What a jerk.

I often think that English people aren’t that different from Scottish people, then cricket happens and I realise that you all seem to care about it.

@littlekittybigcity.bsky.social It took me way too long to start playing this, but now I am, someone is very curious.

A message to all freelancers, if you can, please charge a flat rate per project. Saves everyone a lot of admin and unexpected charges. And ok, sometimes you might under quote, but sometimes you do 25 minutes work as I did today and it’s embarrassing how much that translates to as an hourly rate.

Kenny McLean is finally forgiven for playing for Norwich.

This is definitely turning into the most Scotland way to finish second in the group

I’m not quite sure how to deal with that. Scotland don’t score goals like that. In the second minute.

Christmas movie where an American woman visits a European microstate and falls in love with the prince, but war is brewing between them and all the other European microstates who now have American queens in charge. At Christmas.

Hallmark movie where the actors are all actually playing the same characters in each movie they’re in, and so have to rush to spend Christmas with their 20 different families in various small towns in America, none of whom know about each other.

Me watching Greece v Scotland.

There’s a VERY optimistic ice cream van going down my street right now in the dark and absolute driving rain.

Who was the guy in the 90s who was like a celebrity publicist/reputation smoother who was a bit working class and smoked a cigar (not Max Clifford)? I can picture him but I can’t for the life of me remember his name. Wore like sovereign rings and as far as I remember was very London.

Well it looks like I’m using AI the way it was intended, for images of women’s knickers (upscaling drawings of them so they’re high res enough to go on a large format print to encourage women to talk about their periods).

Two drunk men outside Asda: Drunk 1: You’re a bastard. Drunk 2: Did you call me a bastard? Drunk 1: Aye I did. Drunk 2: Am no a bastard! I’ll punch you in the face! Drunk 1: See, you’re a bastard.

Turns out the only sport my cat has any interest in is the Individual Pursuit. Can’t take her eyes off it.

I SAID SO

NOW IS THE TIME TO ROL THE DYKES

A friend made a playlist for each year of their life, which made me start to do the same. So in classic “start as you mean to go on” fashion, the first playlist includes an hour long ambient piece and a vaguely disturbing industrial track. I’m sure 0 year old me would’ve loved it.

Having to design a logo which involves a cross and needs to be geometric, and it’s so hard to come up with something that doesn’t look like a Nazi designed it.

Sad that the athletics season is over, so I can’t annoy whoever I’m watching it whenever Hansle Parchment or Christina Honsel appear by saying “he’s/she’s so hot right now”. Or prodding them and saying “watch him” whenever Zakithi Nene is running.

The good news: I finished the final long preparation run before a half marathon. The bad news: I forgot to put tape over my nipples and let’s just say I’m going to be fully testing the effectiveness of Vanish on the top I was wearing.

Somehow there is nothing funnier than seeing giant discus throwers walking around under normal sized umbrellas, making them look the size of the ones you get in cocktails.

It’s almost that time again.

My dad kept calling the march in London the “Tony Robinson March”, which I think we can all agree would be a much more appropriately British celebration of Britain than some far right football hooligans.

Just had a conversation with a friend and apparently I’m a “bad person” because on any web form where I get asked “how did you find out about this product/service/brand?” I always tick “Other” and write “Your mum”.

Anyway, that’s enough of racists, look at my harvest. Anyone who says growing veg is hard is worrying too much, put it in the ground, control the weeds (if you get a water permeable cover then job done) and leave them. Ok the tomatoes/peppers needed a greenhouse and watering but that wasn’t hard.

You know that thing people say about getting like a dopamine rush every time someone likes one of your posts? Having a reply on something that went viral (the original post, not my reply I hasten to add) that’s getting liked a lot, it’s just an annoyance that I’d rather not have to deal with…

Picked up a parcel from the corner shop today and very much had the look of “what the hell is that name and why do you sound Scottish?” from the lady behind the counter who’s seen me hundreds of times.

The passive aggressiveness of the Stansted departures board telling passengers for the 14.05 to Katowice to “relax” when it’s delayed by 7 and a half hours.

Just another normal work day