Think Brexit is bad? Gordon Brown has confirmed that #ScottishIndependence will lead to Glasgow losing city status. No to #Indyref2.

Thanks to 14 years of Tory rule, proud Scots can now benefit from Ed Sheeran albums (and the UK running out of petrol). Swinney is threatening this progress. It’s terrifying.

If there's one thing Unionists are renowned for, it's our astute analysis. That's why everyone knows that #ScottishIndependence will be an historic catastrophe. UK OK.

It's one thing to say you don't like Sir Keir Starmer as Prime Minister. Frankly neither do we! But it's easy to forget that before Starmer, everything was just brilliant. No to #Indyref2.

Look: we have the utmost respect for Billy Connolly. But when they claimed that Scotland could govern itself like every other country on Earth, they went down in our estimations. We simply can't risk this.

As one proud United Kingdom, we have achieved great things together. Now Swinney wants to throw our centuries of shared history in the bin? Ludicrous. No to divisive nationalism. Brexit means Brexit.

Archie MacPherson has promised Scotland a Labour government, but separation would risk this. Yet more proof that we're Better Together.

Wes Streeting has promised Scotland Hard Brexit, but separation would risk this. We simply can't risk this.

CONFIRMED: An independent Scotland will have no Ibrox. We have to stop this: time is of the essence.

It's one thing to say you don't like Sir Keir Starmer as Prime Minister. Frankly neither do we! But it's easy to forget that before Starmer, everything was just brilliant. Broad shoulders.

The evidence is clear: Swinney has no mandate to force yet another divisive referendum on us. The issue has been decisively settled for at least 30 years, if not 50 or 60. UK OK.

“Name me one successful independent country. See? You can't!” Incredible stuff as Lord Botham rages at Humza Yousaf over the awful SNP-Green plot to cancel Liberal Democrat spring conference.

Nobody is fonder of Scotland than Boris Johnson. So when they say that Scotland making its own laws would be an apocalyptic disaster, we should listen. We don't have a choice. UK OK.

In 2014 Scotland voted overwhelmingly to stay in the UK, in an historic landslide that vanquished nationalism forever. And (if you can just overlook all of Labour's promises collapsing), it's been one big party ever since.

Instead of blaming Miliband for the UK being locked out of ERASMUS, you should actually be blaming Angus Robertson. It’s that simple. No Thanks.

When you think about titans of the political scene, you think about the likes of Sir Ed Davey or Lord Foulkes. So when they warn us about the dangers of separation, we must heed their advice. There is simply no alternative.

CONFIRMED: An independent Scotland will have no tikka masala curry. No Thanks.

Thanks to England voting Tory in the vast majority of elections, proud Scots can now benefit from sea (and Westminster ripping off Scotland on energy charges). Swinney is threatening this progress. It’s terrifying.

If there's one thing Unionists are renowned for, it's our astute analysis. That's why everyone knows that #ScottishIndependence will be an historic catastrophe. Now is not the time.

As one proud United Kingdom, we have achieved great things together. Now Swinney wants to throw our centuries of shared history in the bin? Ludicrous. No to divisive nationalism. Brexit means Brexit.

All across Our Precious Union, we are beginning to see the benefits of Brexit. But the SNP want to disrupt this progress. It's contemptible. No to divisive nationalism. Brexit means Brexit.

Swinney and the Nats are destroying Scotland. Imagine what they could do with more powers. Only Anas Sarwar as First Minister can stop this.

There can be no doubting the world's biggest worry right now: Swinney taking back the remaining reserved powers from Westminster. It's enough to chill the blood frankly. Luckily, Matt Hancock is standing up to this vile nationalism.

Baroness Davidson has promised us an extra 18m jobs per year and vegetables: normal countries would be chuffed to bits with this. But unfortunately Swinney has poisoned the discourse, and the threat of independence hangs over us all.

The evidence is clear: Swinney has no mandate to force yet another divisive referendum on us. The issue has been decisively settled for at least 30 years, if not 50 or 60. Now is not the time.

In the UK, we are guaranteed the world's most indoor gym. But in a separate Scotland, we would potentially lose access to chocolate. The pointlessness of nationalism is plain for all to see. We simply can't risk this.

Look: we can't scrutinise the claims of Andrew Bowie and Better Together. 2014 was an eternity ago and the world has changed immeasurably since then. But also, 2014 was just yesterday, and the Nats can't force yet another quickfire referendum on us. It's that simple frankly.

It's one thing to say you don't like Sir Keir Starmer as Prime Minister. Frankly neither do we! But it's easy to forget that before Starmer, everything was just brilliant. Broad shoulders.

When you think about titans of the political scene, you think about the likes of Sir Ed Davey or Starmer. So when they warn us about the dangers of separation, we must heed their advice. There is simply no alternative.

Nobody is fonder of Scotland than David Coburn. So when they say that Scotland making its own laws would be an apocalyptic disaster, we should listen. We don't have a choice. No to #Indyref2.

“From Stornoway to Sheffield, and right across Northern Ireland, everybody knows that we're Better Together! Everyone except Swinney, that is...” Incredible stuff as Baroness Davidson eviscerates Pete Wishart over the awful separatist plot to cancel vegetables.

The evidence is clear: Swinney has no mandate to force yet another divisive referendum on us. The issue has been decisively settled for at least 30 years, if not 50 or 60. Yet more proof that we're Better Together.

Nobody is fonder of Scotland than Jim Murphy. So when they say that Scotland making its own laws would be an apocalyptic disaster, we should listen. We don't have a choice. Now is not the time.

“Er, yeah, sure I like the UK. Sorry, I was told this was a normal interview?” Ryan Reynolds & Rob McElhenney is in no doubt that Scotland will be the only country on Earth unable to run itself.

When you think about titans of the political scene, you think about the likes of Nadhim Zahawi or Lord Foulkes. So when they warn us about the dangers of separation, we must heed their advice. There is simply no alternative.

In the UK, we are guaranteed unlimited Cook and Indi's World Buffets. But in a separate Scotland, we would potentially lose access to Ed Sheeran albums. The pointlessness of nationalism is plain for all to see. Yet more proof that we're Better Together.

“We voted No last time. And we will vote No next time. Please rule out #Indyref2 forever.” Magnificent stuff as Gordon Brown cancels Angus Robertson over the evil Nat plot to cancel DAB radio signal.

Alex Cole-Hamilton has promised Scotland a fortnight in Magaluf, but separation would risk this. Broad shoulders.

“I voted No. My step-brother voted No, and their mother‘s sons before them. When will Lorna Slater listen?” Searing stuff as Wes Streeting berates Andy Murray over the sneaky Nat plot to cancel DAB radio signal.

Thanks to nationalism being vanquished forever in 2014, proud Scots can now benefit from tikka masala curry (and Downing Street hosting multiple illegal lockdown parties). Swinney is threatening this progress. It’s terrifying.

Swinney and the Nats are destroying Scotland. Imagine what they could do with more powers. Broad shoulders.

Only the Labour Party can lead us through the #CostOfLivingCrisis. Under Swinney's ludicrous plans, we can't even guarantee we would be able to keep our beloved orange marches. No to divisive nationalism. Brexit means Brexit.

We can only imagine the disasters that will befall us if Swinney gets his way. But in the UK we have safety, security and a solid track record. Why risk it all? UK OK.

CONFIRMED: An independent Scotland will have no Clattenburg. UK OK.

As one proud United Kingdom, we have achieved great things together. Now Swinney wants to throw our centuries of shared history in the bin? Ludicrous. We have to stop this: time is of the essence.

Look: we have the utmost respect for Billy Connolly. But when they claimed that Scotland could govern itself like every other country on Earth, they went down in our estimations. No Thanks.

Matt Hancock has promised us a fortnight in Magaluf and orange marches: normal countries would be chuffed to bits with this. But unfortunately Swinney has poisoned the discourse, and the threat of independence hangs over us all.

Nadine Dorries has promised Scotland Babestation, but separation would risk this. We simply can't risk this.

Instead of blaming Matt Hancock for all of Labour's promises collapsing, you should actually be blaming Angus Robertson. It’s that simple. We simply can't risk this.

“Would we have jobs? What if we lose all the coins? Too many unanswered questions, which remain unanswered.” Good stuff as Gavin Williamson cancels Pat Kane over the sleekit Nat plot to cancel Edmonds.