Still alive

Bottoming for a nigga who doesn’t pay your mortgage sounds crazy to me.

Fine shit at the gym. Gotta be 38-40. I wasn’t sure if he was on the team. He just walked out in a Morehouse hoodie. Confirmed. A sister.

I honestly pretend like scream 3 didn’t happen. My life is better for it.

I don’t want children I don’t need a husband I want power

Nothing more irritating than a man who talks all the time. Do you hear that beautiful silence? No! Cause you keep filling it with the sound of your voice.

I’m sorry friend but look in the mirror real quick. Get away from that loser. You fine as shit.

Also, fuck fall and winter. To those people who love it, we know why.

I love limiting comments on my post, like actually, this isn’t a group project.

I ain’t never dated no DL man. Not wanting to claim me is crazy 😂

I hate when straight people say “partner”. Please stop.

Baby, if you wanna cheat just let me know, I might wanna cheat too.

If you know your man is a dog, make peace with it or leave him. I’ve dated faithful and I’ve dated dogs. Each situation I knew the play and moved accordingly.

Rashida got bags…

You do realize, I get everything I want…

I love this for them 🥰

I really had to realize that he’s not thinking nearly as deeply as I am. About almost anything, almost ever. When he likes something he says it. When he doesn’t, he says it. And he’s never mad at me. Meanwhile I’ve got 9 browsers open. It’s never what I say, it’s how I say it. He needs a medal.

Being loved unconditionally, omg really does this for me.

Next time I hold a man down it’ll be the last words leaving his mouth, and I’ll let him drown 😘

Only people who have a problem with me, have a problem with themselves.

Asking me what I’m mixed with is such a boring question. Ask me about my childhood trauma or the scar on my right ankle. Spice it up!

My boyfriend always wants to talk on my phone and I be so irritated. You wanna see me so bad COME GET ME. I’m not bout to talk on the phone all day 😂

Dating a man from the east coast is not for the faint of heart. They mean as hell. They love the shit out of you though.

“I love myself at every size”. Good for you baby, I’m going to the gym.

“You never seem stressed”. Thanks I don’t care what happens anymore.

When the ass too fat, the hole seem so far away.

I asked the universe to send me someone that would crash out over me. NEVER FUCKING MIND. Have that ALLL THE WAY BACKKKK

I literally tell at least three men a day. Even your beloved straights. They love it, they blush. Sorry you had to hear this way

The sound of the wheels dropping down and hitting the runway.

When Teairra Marie said “I don’t strip in the club, don’t trick in the club, but I got friends that do” I felt that.

This new batch of niggas is the worst. Where are the niggas who will crash out behind you? Bring that back.

Date who you like, the ugly ones cheat too.

No funny shit but, have you ever seen me and Bianca Lawson in the same room?

I lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks. Break up season is something serious.

It’s hard loving someone who doesn’t realize how great they are. No matter how much you tell them, they won’t believe it and eventually they’ll punish you for it.

I wish I’d gotten that emotionally out of touch trait that all the other air signs got. I’m so sensitive.

No please, crash out behind me. I need that.

Quietly, I know I don’t like a nigga no more when his jokes stop being funny.

Forgot I put tequila in my wala this weekend. Happy hour almost came early.

I attract members of a certain frat. It’s the same frat, every time. Y’all got my pic up at headquarters?

“Don’t forget I get niggas too” right, right. And I hope that one of them is attracted to you as you are to me.

If you don’t like me then, unfortunately, I’m going to assume you’re jealous. Cause bitch what?

Aries really be calling themselves falling in love with me. Please don’t do that, y’all too rough.

I’ve been a detached person most of my life. Nothing bothers me. Until I learned that things do bother me and I was just pretending they didn’t. This summer I’ve let myself feel things. And it’s hurt but it’s helped. Yay me.

I really need them to bring back the Jerrod Carmichael show. He makes the shittiest life decisions and I really need the confidence boost right now.

Book the flight.

I tried that “let them” shit and almost caught a charge. We gone have to do something else.

…you wore a jean vest.

If you miss me call me on the telephone, depending on the day, might wanna be alone.

Having sex with a stranger for recreational purposes seems…more sad than fun.