having some very gentle and bliss filled days looking at small things in my yard. i recommend this to anyone and everyone.

@robinince.bsky.social - i’m on my second go-round with your book. i ended up buying it for my k*ndle (other e-readers are available!) so i could highlight the many things that rang like loud bells in my busy brain. thanks again for putting something great into the world. 👍

i function better in a world that’s quieter, structured, and sensory-safe that includes soft clothes, adaptive tools, and routines that reduce pressure it’s not about being ‘smaller’ it’s about building a life I can actually live in without tensing all the time. #AuDHD #RestAsResistance

Hey @robinince.bsky.social - I have had the struggle-for-words pleasure of ‘bumping into you’ - once literally - at a couple of places, including field at Glastonbury... (don’t tell Brian that I was showing up for you and not him, although his chat on how to get wellies out of the mud…

realising how much of my life was spent in background tension. not obvious pain, just constant low-level holding. belly. breath. posture. autism/adhd don’t just shape how we think, they shape how we stand in the world. we forget what soft feels like. starting to unmask means starting to let go.

i shared something real about burnout and care. the reply that came was a framework, not comfort. i felt like i was being minimised and redirected instead of held. not everything needs rewording or reframing. sometimes soft honesty just wants to be witnessed. #actuallyautistic #burnout #softdays

today’s been about soft survival and listening to what my body needed. • stayed steady with basic care • moved gently through little tasks without pushing • handled sensory and body regulation without spiraling into shame • remembered that messy days are still real days

soft wiggles. toe scrunches. quiet inside. #SensorySeeking #SensorySelfCare #NeurodivergentLife #SoftDays

when i can’t talk, i still have words — they just come differently. through shape. through silence. through textures. not everyone gets that. but i do. and that’s enough. #actuallyautistic #lowverbal #sensorysupport #neurodivergentcommunication #carelogic

i keep looping through this quiet panic of am i actually anything? am i just tired? even if i was just tired, i’d still need this much care. even if i was wrong, i’d still need routine, softness, structure. 1/2

sometimes i get so sensory happy that my toes wiggle and curl and i feel it all the way through me the soft hoodie, the warm light, the safe space. it’s like my body says thank you without needing any words at all.

this space is for soft days, quiet needs, and slow living. i’m #autistic. often low-verbal. #queer. living with complex health stuff. i talk about #burnout, sensory care, #AAC, #unmasking, and what my support actually looks like. if you get it, you get it. no pressure. no fixing. just presence.

this morning is soft. stars on my pjs. warm coffee in the kitchen. warm sun through the window. sometimes care doesn’t look like fixing it looks like pausing. letting the day come gently. #softliving #sensorycare #neurodivergent #slowmorning

it’s been a little while. the days got smaller and quieter i’ve been learning how to keep life soft lots of slow care. light touch. sitting all the way down when things are too much. autistic. often low-verbal. mostly just quiet. this space is still for glimpses, not explanations. welcome back.

Still here! January has been a massive challenge but still plodding on.

I’ve been in a deep rest and recovery phase for a while. Just checking in to see what you’ve all been up to. I’m also on the hunt for new adult ear defenders—my current pair are falling apart and discontinued. Any recommendations? #SensorySupport #ActuallyAutistic #EarDefenders

Entering 2025 knowing burnout is real, but so is rest and recovery. This year, I’m setting boundaries, pacing myself, and choosing my needs over expectations. Here’s to a kinder, more sustainable year. #AutisticBurnout #ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent

Still unsure about seeking a formal autism (and likely ADHD) diagnosis. I want the validation and access to more tools, but having made it this far without one… is it worth it? Thoughts please, from my ND siblings. #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #Neurodivergent #AutismDiagnosis #Unmasking

This space is for open, unmasked conversations about being #ActuallyAutistic, navigating #Neurodivergence, #QueerIdentity & managing complex health challenges. I talk about #SensoryProcessing, #Burnout, #Unmasking, #AAC, and #AlternativeCommunication. If that works for you too, hi, hey, saluton!

Managing complex health conditions means facing ableism over what’s deemed ‘unsightly’. Accessibility isn’t about how I look, it’s about what I need. Whether walking unaided, using a stick, or in a wheelchair, I’ll still need accessible bathrooms. My mobility doesn’t erase my needs. Stop policing.

Today has been nap and simple food and a walk. Today rocks.

A series of early morning thoughts on my use of AAC following a negative experience yesterday:

A note on tools: sometimes I know the tools that work but get too caught up in what’s going on to remember that a useful ‘fix’ is within reach. Then a responsible human in my life nudges me and tah-dah! Appropriate sleep wear, weighted blanket, right noise and a melatonin gummy. Boom. 8 hours!

Today I would like it if people listened to the things I say and ask for without them trying to turn this into a “plan” they feel meets my needs better. If I say I want to walk at a location close to home with a level and long path, then please don’t then take me to a beach to walk on sand!

I don’t intend for everything I skeet to be a downer. I created this space to be honest and unmasked, a place where I can exist as I am, not as I think I’m supposed to be. If that feels heavy at times, it’s because life can be heavy. Authenticity over appearances. #NeurodivergentVoices #AutisticLife

I feel too deeply mired in my burnout to chart a useful direction to healing. I know that this too will pass - that small kindnesses to myself will lead to better places. But also… nap time?

When you’re so burnt out that your brain feels blank in some really significant places. I have to put on music just to remember how emotions are supposed to feel. I am outsourcing my inner world to a playlist. #ActuallyAutistic #SensoryRegulation #Neurodivergent #AutisticBurnout #NDStruggles

Can’t lie - actually can’t, I find it impossible, illogical and frankly a silly idea - this week has been a struggle and I am not handling it well on *many* levels.

What. A. Day. Pass me a weighted blanket and a rain noise app, please. I will not be coming out of my soft sensory hole for some time.

Ah ha - 3:30am today. I have been being crushed by chest infection that’s been building over the last few days. Wrestling the with the usual contradictions of needing some support but being bad at asking, space but also connection and appropriate company.

Morning Thoughts: I suspect this is a familiar and similar story to lots of others. The pandemic and UK lockdowns were a tidal wave that stripped away so much of the noise and structure of daily life. Suddenly, everything was quieter—but also, so much harder to manage.

Okay. Dropped my phone on my face twice. Time to try for more sleep. If you’ve read any of the posts I made tonight, thanks!

It feels like I am “borrowing words” when I find someone else who has expressed something that was also in my head. The need to find ways to work ‘better’ has been a really big theme for lately because I have a growing understanding of the other needs that have not been met long term and need time.

I like words. I like the actual shapes they make on paper. How yours look different to mine and how we can use the same words with deeply different meanings. Words are complicated. I don’t like talking and I wish I had a way to get the words out faster. One of the issues with wanting to share more…

4am thoughts: - I like art - let’s look at art - I need a new fidget but can’t figure out what - I am and am not kinky. Stuff is sensory rather than sexy - although if it makes you feel “good” - which as an adult I learned meant “regulated” - then who cares? “Gear” is another word for “tool”.

It's 4am and my brain is AWAKE, buzzing with thoughts that just won’t quiet down. Sometimes, it feels like my mind is always processing everything, even when the world is asleep. It’s like the silence makes everything feel louder. #Autism #Neurodivergent #BusyBrain #SleeplessNights #AutisticAdult

Living independently is portrayed as an adult “milestone,” and I’ve managed for half my life - although I don’t feel I’ve necessarily managed well. For me it’s become more complex. I’m navigating a world that doesn’t ever make space for neurodivergent needs, and lately, I’ve been feeling the strain.

I am heading to bed with a few of my favourite objects and items of clothing. I am tactile over verbal. Sensory experiences shape how I interact with the world. #SensorySeeking #AutisticAdult

Being a neurodivergent person in a neurotypical world and having to made it to adulthood before realising or being recognised is to have learned to mask well. That includes masking your trauma as well as your divergence. It is okay to need help and support to unpick both and live authentically.

A total aside: I love-hate how not quite centred my logo is and so it’s probably staying for a while.

What else? “Kinky” but not really sexual. Fetish provides interesting lenses to explore sensory and tactile spaces. “Kink” gives me a set of tools that normalises certain behaviours that otherwise “community” finds challenging such as alternative methods of comms. #Autism #Lost #AutisticAdult #Kinky

Call me Bear. Still figuring this out. Adult. Autistic. Gay/Grey/Ace. Wiggly. AAC user (almost exclusively if not masking). Disabled. Frustrated. Tired. Sensory seeking. Tactile. Did I say tired? Here to try and speak to the realities of being me. Not sure anyone is listening. #AutisticAdult