I just signed up for the Canadian dental plan. You should also sign up for the Canadian dental plan. Sign up through your My Service Canada Account. This isn’t an April fools thing. Go do it. K bye.

Keep crying for the camera while your policies and those of your predecessors insure that our friends and neighbours die in the streets.

Please vote for me as best fish monger.

Snow at end of March/early April is the “I’m just gonna put a little white” at the end of a 5 hour tattoo session.

There is a relationship that the Québécois have with classic rock that I find incredibly endearing. If a bar band starts playing Pink Floyd everyone here goes fucking bananas and it rules.

I feel like I’m in the point of the gangster movie where they’ve just wrapped up the Rolling Stones montage where everything is super cool but now everythings gonna go real sideways real quick.

If you want the price of a night out to go down, advocate for stricter rules on commercial rent, which you, as the customer, are also paying for. Eliminating tipping will just move the 15–20% tip to the menu to compensate for higher wages and ultimately won’t affect your bottom line.

I have band practice today with people that I missed playing music with for more than 10 years.

I’m pretty sure that we’re the only bar dumb enough to sell pints of Guinness for 5$ today….or any day.

I don’t know about you but I don’t think that the oldest people in the world should be making the decisions for what the world looks like for the next 100 years. Or even the next 6 months, honestly.

I remember being at a bar in Lisbon and someone overheard us speaking English and asked where we were from, we answered Montreal and they were not happy. Like disgusted. We thought it was weird but didn’t think too much about it.

You don’t choose your clientele, no matter how much you signal to who you might want to go there. So this will work to get people talking but ultimately the people who are going to go there will be the people who are in the neighbourhood. Honestly, I hope they do well. It’s tough out there.

People ask me what my job is all the time and it’s honestly just to walk around like I know what I’m doing and throw cigarettes at my staff like some sort of less cool Joe Camel.

I wonder how many people are going to get in trouble with the OQLF because you greet someone with “Bonjour” but they stare back like a goldfish so you figure they must be english so you switch to “Hello” but they get angry because they were in fact french but also dumb. Not a lot but also not none.

Do people still say oogle? Like if I said “look at this fucking oogle”, would people know what I was taking about?

It’s an ice storm aka the perfect opportunity to watch this 3hr adventure time lore video on YouTube.

I don’t think dudes who wear backwards hats with a suit to a court case should be donating that much sperm. Or maybe they’re only ones who should be allowed to. This has me completely torn.

Every year the snow melts, and every year some dog-shit rag of a publication will make one of their “journalists” write about how dirty and disgusting the city is, so they can get clicks from people who haven’t stepped foot in Montreal in ten years and need to feel good about their move to Longueuil

I’m sorry you’re not going to be able to see Pennywise for the 100th time, but new bands from your city playing to a big audience is good and fun, and maybe you’ll see something you like and go watch them somewhere cool instead of a field, during the day where the sound sucks and water is $97

I woke up hungover but I didn’t have any Advil so I took 3 extra strength Tylenol pm’s and then tried to even it out but drinking 4 Diet Cokes and now the hat man is doing my dishes.

I swear to god, every time I go to a show here and hear the bands, see the visuals — fuck, even see the posters for the shows — I’m reminded that we have something so special. Whatever we’re spending to make sure I speak to the SAAQ in French, match it so we can promote actual Quebec culture. Jesus

If this is what they mean by assimilating to Quebec culture, count me out