Fw: Meet single Ladies in your area To: Malcador Sigilite! I have no need of random single Ladies, but I think you should go out more. So you should chat with those promising female humans. Sincerly, E P.S.: No murdering single Ladies! P.P.S.: This is absolutely no phishing attempt. #Warhammer

To: Fulgrim Son! I appreciate your artistic approach to practically all aspects of life – but you can also just set up an out-of-office message if you don't want to receive any emails. That was unnecessary. Sincerely, your Father #Warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy

To: Malcador Sigilite! I want to have an intimate family gathering. Nothing big. Maybe a few hundred thousand attendees. Get me a location and a caterer. Any thoughts on party games? Sincerely, E P.S.: I have fond memories of Ullanor. Let's have it there. #warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy

To: Lotara Sarrin Shipmistress! The Twelfth needs his shots and a few standard medical procedures. As I've heard you are able to handle him; please drop him off at my laboratory facilities. The cone has to stay on at least three days, see that he doesn't get rid of it. Sincerly, Your Emperor

To: Tzeentch Fuck, you, fuck you, fuck you! Sincerly, The Chaos God of Order #Warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy

Re: Administratum.All, Custodes.Group, Highlords.Terra, Expedition_Fleets.All IGNORE PREVIOUS MAIL. THIS IS AN ORDER: Sincerely, The Chaos God of Order #Warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy

Re: Administratum.All, Custodes.Group, Highlords.Terra, Expedition_Fleets.All Sincerly, The Chaos God of Order #Warhammer #HorusHeresy #EmperorMail

To: Lorgar Son! Your First Chaplain has once again pretended to be a prince from Afrik in order to obtain my bank details. Give him something to do that will keep him occupied in a more productive manner. Sincerly, Father P.S.: No, he can't keep the five thousand Thrones. #Warhammer

To: Vulkan Son! Some of my grandsons are trying to make a heroic sacrifice right under my window and it's way too loud. Also, I don't think fighting the replacement of the old coffee makers is a worthy cause. Please collect them. Sincerely, Father #warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy

To: Kelbor Hal Fabricator General! I think someone has hacked your mailaccount. I keep getting mails from your adress with an "scrapcode.exe"-attachment. I was not born yestermillenium, I absolutely did not open it. fss<<<..%5$K=}}||f% G&&!° ²³gG{[]}}}\~~~~~ #Warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy

To: Tzeentch Stop changing my signature to "Chaos God of Order", you scheming fuck! Sincerly The Chaos God of Order #Warhammer #HorusHeresy #Tzeentch #ChaosGodOfOrder #EmperorMail

To: Rogal Son! Your Phalanx is taking up two parking spaces again. I am not responsible for any scratches on its hull. Sincerly, Father #Warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy

To: Magnus Son! I heard Prospero has a surplus of cats. I need you to send me one. Did you know that cats have an extra organ that allows them to taste scents on the air? They are like tiny Astartes. Sincerly, Father #Warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy

To: Alpharius Son! Stop it with the cat facts! I am well informed about felines. I mean it! Sincerly, Your Father #Warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy

To: Malcador Sigilite, Why I am subscribed to cat facts? Sincerly E #Warhammer #EmperorMail #HorusHeresy