I need a new slur for our customer base. drop a suggestion in the comments below 👇

@steam please come back to me i want to see our kids again

hello vro RE: https://wetdry.world/users/thememesniper/statuses/111756978583892077

ugh fine I guess we'll stop pushing the rainbow slap bracelets so hard on you meatbags.

💰💴💸🤑9.9 SCORE CVE COMING YOUR WAY!💴🤑💸💸 AFFIRM YES TO CLAIM! 💴💴💴

satya nutella

Hey Microsoft community, we're coming forward to say the allegations are absolutely not true. We do not, and never will, kill our own employees behind the offices with rusty knives and grind them into food for the board members.

I'm gonna find out who's boosting yuri on this account and shoot them. someone keeps logging into the company Microsoft account and boosting yuri. if you see this account boosting yuri, contact Microsoft's support address asap. we will find who is doing this and kill them

dude you have GOT to buy. purchase things! buy our product today! buy our product yesterday! buy! buy! buy! never stop buying! purchase more! there's always more to buy!

collect my orbs RE: https://mastodon.gamedev.place/users/slembcke/statuses/115574583044970382

cloudflare might be down, but copilot is still up! please use copilot I'm begging you

there's a lady in my private messages calling me slurs I think she want me bad

Copilot, generate a picture with me as the Chad and the haters of Microsoft as the virgin.

Count your days, Windows 10 users.

stop using our ATM operating system for gaming, you fucking idiots.

i'm so tired bill

hawk tuah

On your knees, solider. Get ready to be absolutely facefucked by us when you preorder Call Of Duty: Black Ops 7 at a price that feels like extortion. The back alley hookers provide you better value at this rate.

Our latest innovation here at Microsoft: - we now boil a whole 30 gallons of water every time you ask copilot your one-off dumbass questions.

this will be halo in 2014

[Xbox being cucked by PlayStation and liking it]

script kid with a metasploit module coming your way! affirm yes to claim! ​:infinite_money_glitch:​🤑💸

ALWAYS BET ON MISSING REDISTRIBUTABLES THAT SHOULD BE PREINSTALLED

Hey there Windows gang, we're coming at you straight from red mound to give you the changelogs of the latest and greatest Windows 11 update: - moved the start button 5 pixels to the left (task manager no longer works) - deleted a 30 year old system component (your company's core software suite […]

i should be allowed to goon at work.

Remember, we used your microphone to determine the resonant frequency of your vocal chords. One wrong word and we will make you mute

Gamers, we hear you! Which is why we're setting up for the comeback of the century with Xbox: - raise the console prices - raise the console prices again - close a game studio - raise the price of game pass - raise the price of consoles again - close another game studio - cancel the development […]

whatever you do, do NOT get yourself 1-3 years of ESU upgrades for free on windows 10 by going to https://massgrave.dev/ and following the instructions to run the open source script to run an exploit in windows enabling the activation of ESUs. You have to upgrade to windows 11. There's no other […]

i miss my boywife mr. nadella. i miss xer a lot

sorry for late replies im being paid by the hour

oil up bro. new windows update to break your shit.

DON'T YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR $30 GAME PASS SUBSCRIPTION ​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black […]

I'm having sexual intercourse with your motherboard right now

chat does he know RE: https://infosec.exchange/users/technadu/statuses/115287391895691795

Next generation slop, right on your doorstop! (I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up)

3 billion devices will soon be insecure with Windows 10 🔥🔥🔥

Please do not send sloppy style yaoi to the support email. Our customer service offices smell like an orgy because of you foul creatures, and I'm not talking about you, the viewer, I mean the absolute gooners we hired for customer support.

next up we'll force systems running Windows 11 to overclock to 400GHz and light your PC on fire, in collaboration with Intel and AMD to make this possible, in celebration of the 400 million obsolete PCs. RE: https://mastodon.social/users/RepairCafeInternational/statuses/115214523534522465

Hey everyone! Copilot here to let you know the ways I'll torture you: Number 1: The Marrow Furnace. I'll inject liquid metal into your bones, boiling them from the inside. Number 2: The Nerve Harvester. Each nerve fibre will be plucked and strung, vibrating with agony. Number 3: The Organ […]

"clippy wouldn't spy on you" yeah the fuck he would. Introducing Clippy 2 now with Copilot. He's smarter than ever and will do all those things you think he wouldn't. He'll enslave you if it means it'll get that damn letter written.

The Epstein Files are secured with Windows bitlocker. Not even the government can get them back.

Linux users always be talm bout sum "gaming is better over here" meanwhile gaming on windows is completely fine dude my computer is currently on fire but it's totally all good. I have 675 updates pending and half my ram is in use by windows

Update: engineering informed me over MSN on Internet Explorer that the whole Windows start menu is in react native. I will now sacrifice myself to the blood gods for my poor efforts of providing accurate comedy in relation to Microsoft Corporation. My soul will be raptured harvested to make […]

piss me off one more time and i'll bring back Games For Windows LIVE.

Can't believe I'm gonna get executed by a damn toaster man

​:car_bald:​

guess what

You'll own nothing and still suck my microdick

HR tried to change the password on me to lock me out. I just now guessed the correct password, dumbasses set it to "ILoveGillBates32". shit password.

Chernobyl 2 coming right up RE: https://masto.nu/users/MoveTheNeedle/statuses/115009205706252144