maybe the real remote code execution vulnerability in Windows Notepad was the friends we made along the way

lets be honest, we're doing you a favor making your pc unbootable.

im not "breeding" you. im not "filling you with kids" i am 4 squares and an agentic OS. please stop asking for my "seed". what the fuck are you people even talking about

Put a cigarette out on copilots forehead, it loves it

You're gonna have a passkey and you're gonna LIKE IT.

I'm gonna come forward and say it I did it. I'm the one who rebranded office 365 to Copilot. I was so tired of being in the office every waking second of my life. Now Copilot is in there instead of me. I'm a free man now.

"haha microslop 🤪🤪" DUDE THESE FOSSBROS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNY THEY MAKE ME WANNA DEVELOP UNSAFE AI WITHOUT LOOKING

next windows update includes a secret "cat mode" which will automatically and completely erase and zero-out your C: directory and it's contents, download as many AI cat pictures it can using Copilot, and automatically reboot your PC, where it'll load a UEFI executable to render a random […]

corporate told me the old banner was offensive to our machine god, so I have updated it accordingly using an old image from the account drive.

在微軟，我們竭盡全力為您提供最佳服務。因此，我們正在添 femboy foot massage 每售出一台Xbox主機，即可免費取得一份。我們希望您未來能繼續享受微軟產品的樂趣。

happy new year from the internet explorer team!

hello maggots (affectionate)

elite tip: unfriend everyone on xbox and delete all your xbox messages. it'll make your game run better. this is real

happy easter xbox

I need a new slur for our customer base. drop a suggestion in the comments below 👇

@steam please come back to me i want to see our kids again

hello vro RE: https://wetdry.world/users/thememesniper/statuses/111756978583892077

ugh fine I guess we'll stop pushing the rainbow slap bracelets so hard on you meatbags.

💰💴💸🤑9.9 SCORE CVE COMING YOUR WAY!💴🤑💸💸 AFFIRM YES TO CLAIM! 💴💴💴

satya nutella

Hey Microsoft community, we're coming forward to say the allegations are absolutely not true. We do not, and never will, kill our own employees behind the offices with rusty knives and grind them into food for the board members.

I'm gonna find out who's boosting yuri on this account and shoot them. someone keeps logging into the company Microsoft account and boosting yuri. if you see this account boosting yuri, contact Microsoft's support address asap. we will find who is doing this and kill them

dude you have GOT to buy. purchase things! buy our product today! buy our product yesterday! buy! buy! buy! never stop buying! purchase more! there's always more to buy!

collect my orbs RE: https://mastodon.gamedev.place/users/slembcke/statuses/115574583044970382

cloudflare might be down, but copilot is still up! please use copilot I'm begging you

there's a lady in my private messages calling me slurs I think she want me bad

Copilot, generate a picture with me as the Chad and the haters of Microsoft as the virgin.

Count your days, Windows 10 users.

stop using our ATM operating system for gaming, you fucking idiots.

i'm so tired bill

hawk tuah

On your knees, solider. Get ready to be absolutely facefucked by us when you preorder Call Of Duty: Black Ops 7 at a price that feels like extortion. The back alley hookers provide you better value at this rate.

Our latest innovation here at Microsoft: - we now boil a whole 30 gallons of water every time you ask copilot your one-off dumbass questions.

this will be halo in 2014

[Xbox being cucked by PlayStation and liking it]

script kid with a metasploit module coming your way! affirm yes to claim! ​:infinite_money_glitch:​🤑💸

ALWAYS BET ON MISSING REDISTRIBUTABLES THAT SHOULD BE PREINSTALLED

Hey there Windows gang, we're coming at you straight from red mound to give you the changelogs of the latest and greatest Windows 11 update: - moved the start button 5 pixels to the left (task manager no longer works) - deleted a 30 year old system component (your company's core software suite […]

i should be allowed to goon at work.

Remember, we used your microphone to determine the resonant frequency of your vocal chords. One wrong word and we will make you mute

Gamers, we hear you! Which is why we're setting up for the comeback of the century with Xbox: - raise the console prices - raise the console prices again - close a game studio - raise the price of game pass - raise the price of consoles again - close another game studio - cancel the development […]

whatever you do, do NOT get yourself 1-3 years of ESU upgrades for free on windows 10 by going to https://massgrave.dev/ and following the instructions to run the open source script to run an exploit in windows enabling the activation of ESUs. You have to upgrade to windows 11. There's no other […]

i miss my boywife mr. nadella. i miss xer a lot

sorry for late replies im being paid by the hour

oil up bro. new windows update to break your shit.

DON'T YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR $30 GAME PASS SUBSCRIPTION ​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black:​​:xbox_controller_2020_black […]

I'm having sexual intercourse with your motherboard right now

chat does he know RE: https://infosec.exchange/users/technadu/statuses/115287391895691795

Next generation slop, right on your doorstop! (I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up)