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The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, "I've got responsibilities."
about 18 hours ago
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1000 beers served at a Twins game = 1 Killibrew
1 day ago
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. — Quentin Crisp
2 days ago
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FORTUNE'S FUN FACTS TO KNOW AND TELL: A giant panda bear is really a member of the racoon family.
3 days ago
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"What if" is a trademark of Hewlett Packard, so stop using it in your sentences without permission, or risk being sued.
4 days ago
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"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God but to create him." — Arthur C. Clarke
6 days ago
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The 11 is for people with the pride of a 10 and the pocketbook of an 8. — R.B. Greenberg [referring to PDPs?]
7 days ago
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We are each entitled to our own opinion, but no one is entitled to his own facts. — Patrick Moynihan
7 days ago
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"I say we take off; nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure." — Corporal Hicks, in "Aliens"
8 days ago
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This is now. Later is later.
9 days ago
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To err is human, to moo bovine.
11 days ago
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When someone says "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done," give him a lollipop.
11 days ago
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Debug is human, de-fix divine.
11 days ago
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The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it. — Anthony Burgess
12 days ago
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The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it. — E. Hubbard
12 days ago
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UNIX is many things to many people, but it's never been everything to anybody.
12 days ago
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This file will self-destruct in five minutes.
12 days ago
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One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.
12 days ago
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The major difference between bonds and bond traders is that the bonds will eventually mature.
13 days ago
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"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature... Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." — Helen Keller
13 days ago
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Lisp Users: Due to the holiday next Monday, there will be no garbage collection.
14 days ago
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The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack." — H.L. Mencken
14 days ago
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Nothing ever becomes real until it is experienced. — John Keats
14 days ago
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The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it's further away.
15 days ago
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All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
15 days ago
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1 Word = 1 Millipicture
18 days ago
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If it's worth doing, it's worth doing for money.
18 days ago
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Drilling for oil is boring.
19 days ago
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Pohl's law: Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere, will not hate it.
20 days ago
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"If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem." — C. Durance, Computer Science 234
20 days ago
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I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. — Bill Hoest
21 days ago
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HEAD CRASH!! FILES LOST!! Details at 11.
22 days ago
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"I may kid around about drugs, but really, I take them seriously." — Doctor Graper
22 days ago
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Genius is ten percent inspiration and fifty percent capital gains.
23 days ago
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Mathematicians practice absolute freedom. — Henry Adams
24 days ago
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Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith. — Paul Tillich, German theologian and historian
24 days ago
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A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper. — Dyer
24 days ago
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Natural laws have no pity.
24 days ago
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If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
26 days ago
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FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed -- it is hardy, occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer. — A.J. Perlis
26 days ago
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"So why don't you make like a tree, and get outta here." — Biff in "Back to the Future"
26 days ago
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Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing.
26 days ago
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Life is a healthy respect for mother nature laced with greed.
28 days ago
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Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor. — Edgar R. Fiedler
29 days ago
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In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles.
29 days ago
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A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
29 days ago
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How long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a lightbulb? It depends on how many bad ones he brought with him.
30 days ago
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Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat.
about 1 month ago
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Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division.
about 1 month ago
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Scientists will study your brain to learn more about your distant cousin, Man.
about 1 month ago
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