"Speaking of pipebombs, you wanna know what I saw at work the other day?" - MY BOYFRIEND JUST NOW???????

really enjoyed woolhaven, funniest moment i had was in the strip club where i summoned narinder and proceeded to softlock with him sticking his ass out at the lamb

Got some squeeze treats for the cat and forgot for a second who she was, the second she realised there was food in there she tried to eat both the tube and my arm lmao

RAHHH i want to get back into manga collecting but i cant afford the sets i want why are some of these $30 a book 😭

elvis is my favorite zdiskuss user

it works!!!

my boyfriends built different, never met a mf whos been able to sleep through me being the worlds noisiest asshole at 1am

Modern tvs are my enemy, i miss my old fucking 2000s box of a tv that had all its ports on the front of it

Feel like chewing my limbs off because of the residual heat from today, instead im just ominously parked under the AC in the dark to cool off

The ever watchful beast

Having an aircon that actually works is a gamechanger holy shit, hit roughly 40°C today and the house is freezing cold

Saw a shooting star a few hours ago while just chatting in the dark with my wife. Theres really nowhere else i would rather be than here and now with them

[Casual Yet Unspoken Daily Life] #9 God help my roommate who hears me giggling in bathroom saying ''hehe booba pond'' Heck yeah booba oasis

"my boyfriends a vegetable fiend" says my wife, the vegetarian

The bastard lives

out of all the things i expected to do today, literally scaring the piss out of a cat was not on the list

Decided some things are Later Problems and that i shall live in the bathtub for the next few hours (it says, having been in here for almost an hour already)

Big fan of the square hole

drinking and playing video games is one of the activities of all time, enjoying it while i can still sober up stupid quick

started playing outer worlds the other day, safe to say ive found a new game to add to my faves

seems like when i got my pc repaired the bloke who did it gave me a wifi compatible board without realising so heyyy no longer stuck on the phone now that i have my setup working in the new place

I really gotta start charging toys before use, nothing worse than one dying in the middle of jacking off

RAHHH theres so many things coming out in the new year that im so excited for and all i can do is eat my hands and kick my legs

Ughhh motorcycle insurance is so expensive why couldnt i have been normal and just stuck with a car

Starting my day off right by arguing with a cat whos trying to make me believe she's never been fed in her life, despite getting breakfast five minutes ago

Got Koko playing RDR2 and so far all hes done is ram people off their horses before kicking them to death, including the cops Im so proud

Having a staring contest with the cat before shifting .0001mm to the left and she takes off to go scream at the pantry door (she wants to be ingredients)

Eating my hands over how excited I am for this

Reasons why my partner and their cat are the same: see a boob? Honk it

Jerking off is such a wild experience when the person youre fantasizing about is just on the other side of the house instead of several kilometers away

Got my partner messing around in my Scarlet save that ive been playing on and off for the past few years. Apparently i use to name my pokemon....

Wish my nose worked so I could huff balls 😔

Cock. And maybe balls

Having a bedroom again is such a strange feeling, like what do you mean I don't have to do 5 min treks in the cold and dark to go piss at butt fuck o'clock in the morning

could really go for being mounted and treated like a fleshlight- who said that

im always so incredibly horny at the most inopportune moments. like. why cant you be like this when koko is around smh

anyways catch me pressing on the bitemarks they left whenever i jerk off 😩

i need to be rawed so bad but between being sick and my partner being out on a day trip with their mother, i am simply just left to finish modding my ds

chat i miss my wife

worst part of being sick is not being able to suck dick properly 😔

I've fallen off as a NBT fan since discovering them in 2017, sadge

Loooove terrorizing my wife Oh youre trying to sleep? Too bad heres some photos of me trying out the new bathtub 💚 They certainly arent complaining

tfw ur dryhumping on the couch with ur bitch and you get cockblocked by their dad popping over to visit unannounced