Me and Biebs are birthday buddies!

Thank you Tyler 🙏

Can today be done with me please? I watched West Ham get relegated, then headed straight out for a colonoscopy. Now I just woke from the procedure to find Cease and Vladdy left the game injured. No more, please!

Please don’t let that be Bowen’s last goal for West Ham 😢

Get in, I guess. ⚒️

At least we’re going down in style. What a fucking goal!

I missed Vladdy’s homer because, like an idiot, I’m watching West Ham’s premier league status slip away.

O-KA-MO-TO 👏👏 👏👏👏

I honestly don’t think a point would have been enough in the end but we absolutely deserved one. I’m raging.

How did he not score?!

Keep running on Addy you fools!

Kaz has 3HR and 5RBI since I had quesadillas for dinner last night.

I need a Big Mav jersey.

What an absolute 3 hour ordeal and nothing to show from it except a shorter lifespan. Who’d be a footy fan?

Great. Penalties.

Just when you think this game couldn’t get any crazier.

I cannot with this fucking game.

West Ham coming back to life on Easter Sunday is about as on the nose as it gets. I, on the other hand, may not survive this game.

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?! Get the fuck in there! #Irons

Love that my slim chance of some sporting joy this weekend lies in the hands of West Ham.

Jesús is a Blue Jay!

Came home to find a massive Turkey Vulture in my front yard. Not sure it counts as a timeline cleanser but I was pretty excited to see it!

By George, he just gets better with age.

Oh man. This sucks so much. Please be OK Cody.

SWEEEEEEEP!!!! #BlueJays50

The new guys on the team must be thinking ‘WTF?! Is it always like this?’. It would certainly seem that way fellas.

Vladdy knew Ern-Dog would come through.

Captain Kirk boldly goes yard!

I probably shouldn’t enjoy this as much as I do.

WBC CHAMP WITH THE WALK OFF!

I’m not sure I have the emotional fortitude for a whole season of Jeff Hoffman save attempts.

Oooopsie triple for Gimé!

Beautiful anthems 💙

Big cheer for the local boy. We’re so nice! ❤️

Crying before the season has even started 😭

Happy Blue Jays Opening Day guys!

Batting practice in the first inning for the Blue Jays.

Massive point. Big Mav with another big performance. #COYI

Me doing my best Roy Kent impression.

I switched back and Vladdy just missed a dinger.

Grudgingly switching to Canada-USA game. Who decided to start this game while the other one was still on?

Oh that ‘fuck it’ Fables send.

Flying Vladdy!

Get in! Penalty masterclass from the West Ham lads 😍

Oh joy! Penalties 🤮

I wish the players could be like this all the time. Fuck the traditionalists who want players to ‘’play the game the right way. THIS is the right way to play the game. So much fun, so much joy!

Machado that was ridiculous!

The Dominicans have a home run jacket!

Jazz Chisholm Jr is playing for team GB?