I mean, how do you not order all of these? (as a native Texan, even an extra tortilla is useful)

People say the president tells it like it is But when Milli-Vanilli backs out of his event, authenticity might not be his strong suit

Another Weird Week Pool Around & Pond Out Edition

Another Weird Week Retreat-y of Versailles Edition Father’s Day Weekend Shows June 19-20 - Detroit June 21 - Cleveland

President says he doesn’t want to be Herbert Hoover But based on current economic trajectory along with his rap sheet… I think Pervert Hoover is a better fit

As a nod to this way worse version of the Obama deal - gotten by a making things way worse for Americans - we should call this the JC POS

Happy Father’s Day - This weekend in Detroit - Father’s Day in Cleveland More June/July Dates: * 6/25 - Orlando * 6/28 - Chester, NY * 7/22 - Omaha * 7/23 - Des Moines * 7/25 - Buffalo * 7/30 - Louisville * 7/31-8/1 - Batavia, IL

Juneteenth during Pride & Hurricane Season might be more than this admin can handle.

Another Weird Week Knicks vs. Bone Spurs Edition Summer live standup dates * 6/12-14 - Rutherford, NJ * 6/19-20 - Detroit, MI * 6/21 - Cleveland * 6/25 - Orlando, FL * 6/28 - Chester, NY * 7/22 - Omaha, NE * 7/23 - Des Moines, IA * 7/25 - Buffalo, NY * 7/30 - Louisville, KY * 8/31-8/1 - Batavia, IL

OG life lesson. Everyone will remember you making a final shot. But the fact that you also made the final block, and steadily kept your team in the game when all seemed lost, will probably go unnoticed … even though those were the most important parts

Welp Bone Spurs < Actual Spurs

What if we replaced hurricane preparedness with UFC fights & ballrooms

Regardless of your take on Graham Platner’s allegations and/or accuser It might also be worth consideration If the accusations were way worse & he was a Republican judge …Susan Collins would 100% vote him onto the Supreme Court

Another Weird Week Pride & Protest-ICE Edition June Standup Dates * 6/10 - Syracuse, NY * 6/11 - Albany, NY * 6/12-13 - Rutherford, NJ * 6/19-20 - Detroit, MI * 6/21 - Cleveland * 6/25 - Orlando, FL * 6/28 - Chester, NY

They keep saying the president barely sleeps. They forget to include “…in his bed”

Life as a Progressive Redneck Vote Talarico - Flip Texas

Another Weird Week Ceasefire Sees Fire Edition May/June Dates * May 29 - NYC * May 31- Hartford, CT * June 10 - Syracuse, NY * June 11 - Albany, NY * Jun 12-13 - Rutherford, NJ * Jun 19-20 - Detroit, MI * Jun 21 - Cleveland * Jun 25 - Orlando, FL * Jun 28 - Chester, NY

Texas Politics is always weird. This is just the next chapter. See me live in May/June: * May 29 - NYC * May 31 - Hartford, CT * June 10 - Syracuse, NY * June 11 - Albany, NY * Jun 12-13 - Rutherford, NJ * Jun 19-20 - Detroit, MI * Jun 21 - Cleveland * Jun 25 - Orlando, FL * Jun 28 - Chester, NY

Remembering both the fallen & the powerful men who sent them Happy Memorial Day

Another Weird Week Volcanic Corruption Edition See me Live: * 5/24 - West Nyack * 5/29 - NYC * 5/31 - Hartford, CT * 6/10 - Syracuse, NY * 6/11 - Albany, NY * 6/12-13 - Rutherford, NJ * 6/19-20 - Detroit, MI * 6/21 - Cleveland * 6/25 - Orlando, FL * 6/28 - Chester, NY More at Jason-Salmon.com

Another Weird Week He saiid. Xi said. Edition

Another Weird Week Spirit is Willing but the Prez is Weak Edition

Texas has amazing food & weird politics • San Antonio - Thurs May 7 • Houston - Fri/Sat May 8-9 • Tyler - Fri/Sat May 15-16 Come out. Giggle

Eating at a Skyline Chili in Kentucky while writing an obituary to Spirit Airlines, is probably the most blue collar I’ve ever felt without sweating

Another Weird Week Dangerous Seashells Edition

Dumb men start dumb wars for dumb reasons

Let’s be honest. The president being this adjacent to gunfire is pretty much the most relatable he’s gonna ever get to the average American

2023 me: Happy Congeniality Day y’all 2026 me: I’m pretty sure she will soon be confirmed as our new Secretary of Labor

Another Weird Week Kash Kabinet Edition

If he thinks the world is a casino, that would explain why he seems so hell bent to bankrupt it

Explaining that whole president Jesus incident

Another Weird Week What Would Jesus Blockade Edition

To be fair, this is by far the closest to an actual healthcare plan he has ever put forward

Another Weird Week Truce & Consequences Edition

Fun times

Another Weird Week April Foolish Edition

Feels like someone told the president that if you say it on April Fools Day it can’t be held against you

Another Weird Week Airport War Edition

Another Weird Week March(into)Madness Edition

I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that the president thought the Strait of Hormuz was just a homophobic WWE character

Self-Awareness & Women’s History

Another Weird Week The more regimes change The more they stay the same Edition

If you’re in Indiana this weekend, come test my theory about my standup.

The real reason we’re at war

Trying to figure out what happened to Kristi Noem

Another Weird Week Heated Riflery Edition

Curious how much this war is actually Epstein related ...but I am still sending thoughts & prayers to Baron for his recent bone spur diagnosis

Another Weird Week State of the Coverup Edition

Another Weird Week Censorship Edition

If only his awkward answer on Fox News about releasing the Epstein files, got the same amount of bad press as AOC’s in Munich about sending troops to Taiwan…