I wish I had a neighbor like me

Fall is here… Zander is switching the fanny pack for a classic tote and I am putting down the Basillico & Fellini and returning to Hot Couture. Predicting a layer-heavy winter to come

TSA “had” to inspect my groin, but did they “have” to stroke my shit one finger up my butt?

I’m rearing my ugly head

It feels so awesome to say good morning to older people outside. They love it and I love it and we love it

Team of 20 discussing rhinestone colors

Instagram reels just told me that if a man gets a woman pregnant but doesn’t make her cum the baby will have bad vibes

Has Melania seen Oh, Mary ?

My favorite part of the dentist is the runway portion

How’s this for a sweet treat

You can tell when a shoe designer does not have a foot fetish

They really can not handle me in Buffalo New York. Anyways omw to Brooklyn gonna do something gay

Should I go to the bear dance party in rural New York State tonight

It’s crazy that beavers build dams

I’m doing the Nolan solo road trip challenge

Really should be on an Italian beach rn. Like what

Looking to sublet my back porch from Tuesday - Sunday <3 hmu if interested!

I hate when people say sweet treat. Might lose friends over this

If we’ve met before I’ve had a sex dream about you

A lot of shitty people exist. But I’m still standing

I’m sooo obsessed with alpha male influencers. They are like little boys seeing who can hold their breath underwater the longest. Awwww

Pucci nightgown in the mail

I twink death comes for us all…

Ikea… The institution that you are

Instagram algorithm rn is young men eating nothing but red meat (balanced diet is gay) and millennial white women who make “controversial” jewelry (yonic)

They don’t make nepo babies like they used to. Blue Ivy is the exception

Always coming up with new and exciting ways to tell people I have a penis

This is my 100th skeet. I would like to say DICK AND BALLS

We have to do something about the white muscles gays I’m being so serious. They need exposure therapy to like. Critical thought

You would not believe how hard I locked in when my yoga instructor started playing solar power LOL

Meet Oscar & Gabriel 👯‍♂️ Advocate Men / June 1998 • Photography by Bay Stevens • 𝒜𝓊𝓉𝑜ᴇʀᴏᴛɪᴄᴀ • 4077A 18th St at Castro • (415) 861-5787 • email [email protected]

I like sewing linen and listening to pasty cline

Posted on Instagram time to throw my phone in the lake!

Went for a walk and smelled all of the flowers and got a sweet sparkling raspberry water and went to the sex shop just to look

No one posts about it being their birthday like a Taurus

I unfortunately love watching cute boys on Instagram reels recording themselves being cute. I love to hate it and I hate to love it

The biggest secret to glamour is that it’s not that hard to achieve. A true diva doesn’t even have to try…

Washing my hair, doing the laundry, late night TV, etc

Hello ma’am nice bazoongas may I take your coat?

There’s a specific type of gay 33 year old man I do NOT like

How it feels driving past the high school and stopping to let the kids cross the street

Are you feeling excited ?

Just thought you all should know that production design now is when clients send you an AI image and tell you to make it

I had a really good skeet but I forgot

What is Coachella

I am not a night person. Or a morning person. I have a very small window

I miss Waffle House Lana

Ramps getting his balls removed right now. Pray for ramp

Putting the winter wardrobe away idgaf

My dad is convinced I make sissy boy porn