Me when I need to evolve my Haunter into a Gengar:

Might have to start an OnlyFans to afford these Pokemon LEGO sets 😬

Put a bird on it.

Cleared the Dragon Quest 7 demo and jumped right into the FF7 Remake demo 😬

I just need Tauros and Krookodile from Mega Rising 🥲

Reading goal for the year: finish the remaining Stormlight Chronicles books.

To the guy who turned in my Pixel watch that fell out of my bag at the gym last night: I hope you get all the head you want this coming year 🙏

I worked at Jonathan Adler as their entire IT department for like three months.

I love her 🥰

Just hit 500lbs on the leg press 🙏

Starting off Christmas with a flat tire. On the plus side, I still remembered how to swap on the donut last night 💪

Should we be concerned that Ariana has been in two serial killer sketches on SNL?

... We had to buy this leather daddy nutcracker.

Look at our adorable baby tree 🥲

Not these gym bros bonding over workout shirts

OH MY GOD. AFI is coming to Omaha. 😮😮😮😍

I regretted coming to the gym on this work trip at first, but there's some good motivation here. 👀👀 (And don't worry, I'm posting this between exercises away from equipment 😌)

This hotel bar just poured a pint glass half full of vodka. Oh boy. 🙃🙃

Alright book sluts, I'm almost done with "Words of Radiance". I need a breather from The Stormlight Archive series. Which one next?

Denver friends! I'm going to be in your city this week, and I'm totally free tomorrow night. What's good to do on a Monday? I'm staying near the tech center.

People, if you're resting between sets get the fuck off socials. Some of us are actually trying to get through our workouts.

🤷🏻‍♂️

Surprise work trip to Denver next week 🤷🏻‍♂️

Everyone, I did it. I beat Pokemon Go.

If we hit the goal I'll post pole. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Hi friends! I've created a gofundme to help Dan get back on his feet after his hospital stay. It would mean the world to me if could contribute something or even share this. gofund.me/f211842df

My first gym trip without you It's the same but different. I miss that little "wait, I need to pee first" delay. I missed sneaking into a shower with you, and hated having to wash myself. I almost left the locker door open, but heard your voice huffing in my head. I closed it.

☠️

This movie screen is fucked. Lol.

🥹🥹 Not only did I come home to a clean apartment, but the boyfriend surprised me with flowers and a card.

This'll be my first flight with a crying baby 😌 I hope their parents aren't too stressed.

You know, I thought people were joking about Lyft drivers putting on the pop girlies for us 🚬s, but this driver looked at me and chose violence today.

Do you think Donald got down to the balls, or was it just the tip?

It's been an experience here in San Fran, but I'm ready to go back to not waking 15k steps up hills every day.

Following up on this: their bagel sandwich was just as good.

Me: Why am I tired today? Fitbit:

This Ignite conference is a MESS y'all.

Just had my first proper bodega breakfast sandwich since moving from NYC 🥲

Hi San Francisco! I'm in you! If any moots on here wanna meet up, let me know. I think I've intentionally left my nights free.

Also I'm proud that I've flown private more than commercial 🤷🏻‍♂️

I feel like, at 40, I should have a much better understanding of how to get through an airport.

I've got another head cold, and I can't tell if people are being serious about this Trump blowing Clinton thing.

I love progressing shrugs, but I always get a tension headache after 🥲

Accepted my new job offer with a ✨substantial✨ raise, got my Analogue3D shipping notice, AND Robyn put out her new single today? Winning 🙏🙏

Who's up for some Mario Kart 64 at my place?!

We did a thing 🍂🍂🍂

No.

Start the new role December 1st!