For better or worse my taste in men was heavily influenced by David Schwimmer.

You ever hit a stretch in life where it feels like you just can't make the right choices?

They're not even being subtle anymore.

I also deleted The Apps so now what do I do between sets?

Deload weeks are the hardest thing for me. What do you mean I need to be intentionally lazy?

... That's two marathons. What the actual fuck?

This just feels right, you know?

This.

Accidentally took today and tomorrow pills this morning. 😬

STARFOXSTARFOXSTARFOX

1/4 of the way done 😁

Look at my sweet baby 😭

This is the energy I have today

Gym is starting my day off with some Daft Punk 🙏

We did it Joe

Trying for 6 plates on my leg press today. Send tots and pears for my old man knees.

QTP with an anime you're currently watching!

😌

Straight man at the gym just got out of the pool area, put on his street clothes while still dripping wet, and left. They are not okay. 😬

Accidentally set my lifting tracing apps default bar weight to 0lbs instead of 45lbs, and almost snapped my spine trying to deadlift. 😬

Google photos just showed me a bunch of pics I took off margaritas and I think it's trying to tell me something

Gym is taking a break from it's modern rap playlist and going with 90s hip-hop 🙏

I worked at Jonathan Adler for a hot minute when I lived in Brooklyn, so setting their designs all over Michaels is fucking SENDING me

Learning how to do tate presses today 💪

🍑

Getting an outage call right as I'm about to scan in at the gym for deadlift day is probably not a good omen.

Yesterday was Tucker's birthday, so here's one of his first pictures with us and the newest. ♥️

These shorts I bought last year are now so tight they're basically leggings 😬

This Buldak spicy chicken ramen isn't fucking around 🥵🥵🥵

I'm choosing violence this morning 😌

Update! PatternKeeper says I'm only at 7.8% done 😮‍💨

Anyone else having a hell of a time getting going today?

Next!

I've been with my company for 11 years now, and I have the best possible problem - I gain PTO almost faster than I can spend it. I'm about to have a week long staycation again 🙃

My ground turkey for meal prep isn't thawed so I guess I have to go out for lunch 🤷🏻‍♂️

Almost done!

My new team LOVES a busy and chaotic Friday and I'm gonna need that to change real quick

I have my first ever peer review of my code changes today, send good vibes that they approve my work 🙏

Scale at home said I was at 20% body fat Body scan at the gym says 12.5%. I'm gonna cut the difference and say I hit my goal of 15% 😌

🤤

Modifying Claire Saffitz brown butter chocolate chip cookie recipe into a boozy old fashion cocktail cookie.

Ordered in some peanut butter chicken and egg rolls 😌

Fitness friends: Do calories count if your government is about to instigate a nuclear war? 🤔

The really fun thing about big military conflicts and living in Omaha is that we have Offutt Air Force Base here, which is where the president and executive branch goes when shit really hits the fan.

Anyone have an extra of this little fucker? 🥹

☠️

I AM A RESPONSIBLE ADULT

Morning sluts 😘

Ground turkey in taco seasoning, roasted sweet potato, sauteed spinach, and avacado. 🙏

To add to the insult my gym crush isn't even here today.