I just think those straight girls you’re friends with shouldn’t be in your Grindr photos.

I’ve come to the snap decision I need to marry a hot pastry chef who’s good with HIS hands and works for billionaires. Do you know anyone like that? I thought I’d start with my close circles before putting out a public call.

Nobody actually knows who Jeremy Renner is.

Tops who don’t eat ass need to get with the picture!

Do you ever take your case off your phone and let it be naked for a bit?

Anybody have any contacts in #enby mafia? I have a body whose gender needs non-conforming, if you get my drift. 👀

Am I the first to notice that the body keeps the score?

Should I start posting nudes? Is this the sort of person I wanna be?

The flesh putrefies, the machine rusts, the divine corrupts. And so rot reigns supreme. The rot consumes us all.

I may not be the himbo meat head I wish I was, but like, I need to remind myself that I am literally hotter and more muscular than I’ve ever been in my entire life and that’s not nothing. Like, guys message ME on Grindr wanting to hookup, and that’s not nothing. #Muscle #Gay #Bodybuilding #Growth

Selfie cause I forgot this app existed

Feeling absolutely powerful as I send in my letter of resignation for my stupid job that I hate!

Accepting praise in the form of cash gifts and physical worship for my hashtag #transformation this holiday season. #Muscle #Bodybuilding #Gay

I went to a party last night dressed like this and realised quickly I was way over dressed. Also, I need a haircut. #gay #muscle #Barba

Can we all just get around how hot it is to send videos of yourself to your friends?? It’s 2025, people. Accept that you’re hot!

What do we think? Any thoughts? At all? #Gay #Muscle

I am just so fucking gay when it comes down to it.

Question for the crowd: Do you think it’s ontologically possible for a twink to be pure of heart?

Eating big to get big!! The goal is MUSCLE, people! Muscle!! #Muscle

Nothing more humiliating than being shadow banned on #Tumblr

Sometimes you get talking to a boy and he really makes you feel some kind of way.

The universal experience of #Grindr is when you’re at your most horny is when people least want to play. #gay

When I bought weed gummies I kinda assumed they wouldn’t smell quite so strongly of weed.

Not to brag, but my dealer gives off “dealer” energy.

Looking at this and realising just how fucking puny I am! I want to be a big beefy #muscle boy. Still so far to go!

Hot take: I really fucking hate my job.

Big sweaty #pecs truly are my weakness, and one day soon shall be my biggest strength.

My name is BeefBoy. Today I feel like a salmon swimming effortlessly in the stream. Sometimes I am a submarine. Sometimes I am an imp. But always I am playing. I ask the world “what can I do to keep things the way they are right now?” And the answer is a salmon swimming effortlessly in the stream.

Collective Noun for Asparagus: A Speerage

Is this what the people of Bluesky want? Is this how I get followers? #Gay #Abs #muscle #GhostlyPale

Did we ever discover for whom this bell was tolling? Feels like it’s getting louder.

#Disney would never have the bravery to name a character Lord Farquaad, let alone the bravery to have him be voice by John Lithgow. #Shrek

I’m a romantic in their hot slut era. #HotSlutEra #Gay

Crop tops are a dangerous new discovery for me. #gay #muscle #selfie

Just bought my first crop top! I am getting sluttier and sluttier!

Tbh kinda disappointed we never really got the Fitness Bro Influencer to OnlyFans model pipeline up and running. #Economics

This empty shelf of #LaoGanMa at my local supermarket MOCKS me every time I go in. It’s cruel.

Give her the flowers she deserves!!! #Music #2000’s #ThisSongCooks

Addicted to #Balatro, and the best part is that I’m bad at it. 🥰

@bsky.app - I think I should be able to post polls. It would be good to get feedback from my six followers about whether I should get a little treat or not.

Learning to accept how pale I am :(

As someone who works in motor insurance I do have to quickly say that it’s bullshit and all cars should be sent to the scrap heap. Two additional selfies cause yesterday was chest day!

Kissing boys and going to the gym are true sources of joy for me atm. Am yet to kiss a boy at the gym though. This MUST change!

I’m performing a ritual all gay people know called “hiding from work in the toilets watching porn on my phone.” Ah, men.

I’m rewatching the UK version of Utopia at the moment and it absolutely fucks. It’s so good.

I think I might stan #KristenStewart?? When did this happen??!

So sometimes I publish essays and longer rambles on my Substack. At the moment it’s a lot about #AI #Ethics and some #Queer memoir in there. And to be clear, by Queer Memoir I do mean stories or my awful Grindr dates. I’d love to hear what you think :)

Making friends with a porn star was not on my bingo card and yet here I am in the year of our lord 2024 enjoying the fruits of that friendship.

I sometimes wonder if life was easier if it would be less satisfying.