inside of me there is one wolf and that wolf wants to drink 6L of beer in one night

ok i’ll say it, normalize shitting in public restrooms gdi

not me getting catcalled at the airport wtf

recently i started effortlessly hearing saliva noises in vocal takes for the first time... such an unbelievable blessing and horrifying curse wow

today i made an eggless mochi ube pancake and it was not until the batter was on the griddle that i realized i’ve never made pancakes before… panic like no other. anyway that ugly ass horribly flipped pancake was delicious.

crazy how downhill Lost went after the hobbit died

i am eating cheese curds wrapped in prosciutto with chopsticks and no one can say fucking shit to me

i smoked Not Very Much weed this 420 sorry mom

me: espresso really doesn’t affect me me, 8 shots of espresso later: holy shit

actually bizarre how often i am talking to someone like “i joined too many bands, i am so deeply stretched thin right now” and the person will be like “yeah so i really need a bassist….”

i got Big Dog Energy

sometimes i get really stoned and it freaks me out how we stand so upright w just our lil feets to support us like wtf

only 6 things on my to do list bonch im winning

got a desk and now my apartment has become my laboratory

if u breathe your stinky ass breath in my face then i should be allowed to spit right back in yours

brain dont work no more

ran out of tv to watch so started mixing my album

i need to hear kendrick’s granny’s response to that one line

terrifying that there are folks walking round w not a shred of intuition wtf

it is so disorienting 2 come home from a gig w nothin but a mic

people should try thinking about me only exactly as often as i think about them

i like making people uncomfy w jokes that only i find funny which somehow happens to be why i am good at stage banter but also bad at groupchats

crash out cash out

Bass is the best instrument because you don't have to have any talent to be ok at it and if you keep playing it you can get pretty good at it while still having no talent

if u invite me to a social event i will cry

why are men so exhausting… has anyone asked them to Stop That

dont ask me about upright bass, that is beyond the scope of this course

acoustic guitar is cool, electric guitar is not, electric bass is best but acoustic bass is worst

new severance ep just made me more awake than caffeine ever has

ok where are all my friends on here tho

relatable

aint that a kick in the pants amirite

i told my boss i have a new crushtomer and he said “christ, what is this one, a married serial killer?” absolutely got my ass

im not talking to myself i’m practicing stage banter

fuck marry kill spit sweat vom

fickle is the love of the hustler

fetid fucking moppet

actually i think i was put on this earth to chat shit and drink beer w friends

ugh im actually gonna have to start following people i know on here now huh

hate it when someone posts a iykyk and idk

i heard a dude at the deli today ask someone if he’s seen season 2 of “squad game”

why does something insane happen to me every day i swear

i dont flirt i charm

generally dislike when a man acknowledges me at all, but when he calls me “big dawg” i feel seen af 🥰

sick and deliriously walking around my house all day whispering “who the fuck i feel like i feel like joker” to myself

JOHNNY IN THE DUNGEON

the year is 2024 and i just saw “who gives a fuck about an oxford comma” as someone’s tinder bio

literally WHY did the chicken cross the road

once in a while i swear i can taste the bug juice in my mezcal negroni

it is actually shocking how few of my friends understand how fucking stupid i am