That face when the client sends you something and the filename is strung together with underscores

Two taco bell bean and cheese burritos for lunch is the only thing holding this country together.

Vicariously enjoying my son's third birthday and thinking wistfully about the takes we could have enjoyed it It's a Small World first opened in the twitter era.

Sandra Wong, the great granddaughter of Wong Kim Ark, is preparing to march at the #NoKings Rally in San Francisco. Today is the 128th Anniversary of the SCOTUS decision affirming birthright citizenship.

Current mood: listening to Zara Larsson - Lush Life unironically

Throwing away some bread and slamming the lid on the trash can: Bye focaccia!

To the extent waking up and blasting yourself with twitter/bluesky is a replacement for the morning coffee and newspaper, it's no wonder we are all insane.

Current mood: butter scraped over too much bread

I once had a partner at a law firm ask me to cold call an attorney in another state to ask about filing procedure in that state. The attorney was basically like "AYFKM" and I still have residual embarrassment from that interaction. Worst boss I ever had. Anyway:

I turned my three year old's car seat to be front facing and he asked me to turn it back. Gotta admit that one hurts.

A funny thing about bluesky is that the obvious solution for all the alt text scolds (AI) is also loathed by the same scolds

My 3 year old is twirling around saying "spin to win" and I'm concerned about what they're teaching him at preschool because this is a spellcaster household.

My three year old while pooping: Someone making some beans [waves hands around his nose like he's at a wine tasting].....and it smells yummy.

LA the kind of place you can be walking to work and see someone practicing falconry at the BLOC.

My 3 year old, out of nowhere and completely without context: We have to stay hydrated.

Official US policy is if you don't have nukes we are free to bomb you and if you try to get nukes we will bomb you.

At a new years party where the men are in competition to see whose jeans are more raw, more selvedge, higher cuffed.

Losing my shit at my 2 year old calling a rock he found at the playground his "handy dandy"

Drunk driving discourse is the discourse I didn't know I needed

Typical conversation with my 2.5 year old: Him: I want to wear socks Me: Here, I already got you socks Him: Why?

My 2.5 year old's forays into grammar currently include asking "Can you pass me three ones"

My only addition to the Twitter foreign dummy account thing is I really doubt Twitter under Musk has anything like the correct withholding tax procedures in place and an audit would be extremely fruitful.

James Garfield with the hardest bars "I deprecate war but if I'm brought war the bringer will find me at home." Jfc

Back on my bullshit listening to bands called, like, vhs ghost and mage tears

Still chuckling on Sunday after my 2.5 year old capped off a Saturday where he was face-on-the-shower-door attached to me all day by looking me right in the eyes and asking "how was your day daddy"

I usually let my dog go to town on a yogurt container when it's empty, but I recently bought one from Costco that is honest to god 5 pounds, so now whenever he sees it come out of the fridge he turns into captain ahab.

Shout-out to the lady in front of me at target buying one (1) potato and a bottle of astroglide.

"Man goes scorched earth on ICE agents kidnapping people in his hometown." Source: old.reddit.com/r/PublicFrea...

My opponent is starting Marcus Mariota and I'm not favored this week. Hell is empty and the devils are here.

Don't engage. Just block. They want to push their rage bait on here. Don't give them the satisfaction. bsky.app/profile/did:...

Day 412 of going on LinkedIn to look for my dream job (curating the "La French Touch" Spotify playlist)

Black Rabbit on Netflix - what if Uncut Gems except Jude Law does hate crimes against American accents

Person behind me in line at Costco checking out with nothing but 6 door dash gift cards, as god intended.

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

Every night I ask my 2.5 year old what he's gonna dream about and every night he says "Pink and purple cows" and I think it's very sad that I'll never know why he does that

Gentrification is whimsical signage.

Me: Hey bud can we cut your fingernails? 2.5 yr old: No, tomorrow Me: Ok......wait, do you know what tomorrow means? 2.5 yr old: .... No........

Raising a 2.5 year old means becoming deeply immersed in Thomas the Tank Engine lore and having conversations with your partner about whether Thomas really is "the cheeky one."

Infants really can produce the most vile string of burbles, roils, and squelches, and then you check the diaper and there is like a teaspoon of poo.

Few pleasures like hearing your toddler laughing and crashing around the house while playing hide and seek with grandma

My 2 year old has graduated from responding "I don't know" to all "why" questions to "Because I'm happy/mad/sad" and I gotta days that's more intellectually honest than the rationalizations offered by most adults.

On bsky dot com at 2 am while my 2 month old breast feeds and it's just British people talking about incomprehensible political issues. Not good.

I wrote an op-ed on the world-class STEM research ecosystem in the United States, and how this ecosystem is now under attack on multiple fronts by the current administration: newsletter.ofthebrave.org/p/im-an-awar...

I asked my 2 year old where he was getting all his boogers and he said "Costco." Like father like son.

Quintessential LA experience is waiting to drop your dog off at daycare alongside a guy with a pervert mustache, Erewhon T-shirt, and jorts.

Respect to the guy waiting for the JPL shuttle while playing Terraforming Mars on his ipad.

My two year old gave my one month old a cold, and now my wife is saying it's important for the baby to get lots of rest...ok I'm on board but that is impossible to distinguish from his normal schedule.

My two year old is jealous of the one month old getting carried around in a baby bjorn, and demands his own baby bjorn experience. Now I'm doing my hot girl walk with a weighted vest that weighs 35 pounds and says "whats that"

My two year old, crying in the bathtub because I put a sponge on my head: "It not a hat"

Neoliberalism is a low carb tortilla