⠀i’m almost never serious , and i’m always too serious . too deep , too shallow . too sensitive , too coldhearted . i’m like a collection of paradoxes .

⠀yes , yes , yes , i do like you . i am afraid to write the stronger word .

⠀i’m becoming more a vessel of memories than a person .

⠀i wake up like a stray dog belonging to no one . cold , cold , and the rain . friendships outgrown or ruined .

⠀replace me with someone easier .

⠀wish i could turn you back into a stranger .

⠀ask me to stay , and i will . i will drop everything else if you ask me to stay .

⠀you’re my favorite friend , i’m sorry that i want you like a lover .

⠀they tell me , shaking their heads : ‘ you should be kinder . you’re somehow furious . ’ i used to be kind . it didn’t last long .

⠀why can’t you see me .ᐣ why can’t i stop needing you to see me .ᐣ

⠀i belonged to no one . not the right daughter . not the right sister . not the right friend . not the right lover .

⠀one day i am gonna grow wings .

⠀crawl inside this body— find me where i’m most ruined , love me there .

⠀i have a feeling you got everything you wanted , and you’re not wasting time stuck here like me .

⠀nothing i do is ever good enough .

⠀whatever our souls are made of , his and mine are the same .

⠀come on , don’t leave me , it can’t be that easy , babe .

⠀the songs on the radio are okay , but my taste in music is your face .

⠀you’re an angel , i’m a dog .

⠀don’t forget about me .

⠀you are not the villain . you once held my hand .

⠀how could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine .ᐣ

⠀you’re just thinking it’s a small thing that happened . the world ended when it happened to me .

⠀i’m afraid that you won’t need me anymore .

⠀nobody’s son , nobody’s daughter .

⠀scared of my own image . scared of my own immaturity . scared of my own ceiling . scared i’ll die of uncertainty .

⠀but i always knew that in the end , no one was coming to save me .

⠀this is the story of how i died .

⠀i need a father . i need a mother . i need some older , wiser being to cry to . i talk to god , but the sky is empty .

⠀please don’t be in love with someone else .

⠀your rage , your anger—— it is sacred .

⠀between your name and a prayer , is there a difference .ᐣ does it matter .ᐣ the stars in the sky can never compare .

⠀god , i have my father’s eyes .

⠀i feel like i’m the worst , so i always act like i’m the best .

⠀i am the face of love’s rage .

⠀i was the good kid and it got me nothing .

⠀you can lean on my arm as you break my heart , just don’t leave me wondering where you are .

⠀and thinking i was broken when i was actually fifteen .

⠀i am prone to being forgotten , i have learned that i am relatively easy to leave .

⠀i’m a puppet on your string .

⠀this is not where i belong , you’re gonna miss me when i’m gone .

⠀i don’t want another lesson learned , could you please be gentle with me .ᐣ

⠀i screamed so loud but no one heard a thing .

⠀anger was better than tears , better than grief , better than guilt .

⠀i kneel into a dream where i am good & loved . i am good . i am loved .

⠀ah , who will save me from existing .ᐣ it’s neither death nor life that i want .

⠀i am nothing in my soul if not obsessive .

⠀i love you , but you’re making me sad .

⠀forgive me father , for i have sinned . and as i kneel here now ; hands red with blood , i know deep down , that i’ll do it again .

⠀you want so badly to be pure again , you call yourself a doll , a lamb , an innocent little thing . but the color pink doesn’t wash away sin , and rosaries don’t make you any less scared of god .