got a new diary today (yet to be decorated). i thought writing down about the days might be good for my memory, since things tend to blur together

the "to love me is to suffer me" line has really stuck with me open.spotify.com/track/02kTd6...

big into leg warmers lately. paired with my brown boots it makes me feel like i have deer hooves

i do have a bunch of illustration ideas ive been rotating in my head, mostly from dreams ive seen recently. but actually sitting down and drawing something has been the hard part. usually feel like doing something else instead, but im getting so rusty!!

i wanna make more ocs (and redesign existing ones), get back into journaling and traditional art and just make more stuff!!!!!!! i was so so lazy last year i feel like i have to just make something even if its bad!! something out of my comfort zone. hmm

happy new year!! my 2026 resolutions are improving my physical wellbeing, learning embroidery and trying to be more honest to myself

joyous christmas to you all !!

traveling!!! going up north to see my best friend

feeling alright today, its ffxiv patch day. yay

cutting doesnt even really upset me anymore. it feels like nothing. like routine. i think that scares me the most. i keep wishing for a better tomorrow but it never comes

ordered a jayce plushie to accompany my viktor one as a christmas present to myself hehe

i reinstalled league. im sorry everyone

worst day in a while. a stupid childish part of me wishes a knight in shining armor would save me from this curse, even just to have someone hold me while the pain passes or to rub my back when i vomit

struggling a little with eating again. old habits die hard i suppose

ive been having thoughts about jayce talis that would set back feminism by at least 50 years

going out today with my mom. not happy about it but going regardless. all my drawings are progressing very slowly, but i really wanna finish one of them next week

these days just dont end

awful awful day

i went to rehab today after being absent for a few weeks. it was fine, i guess. drew myself as a seal a few days ago. ive been doing a whole lot of nothing

wish things were a bit easier

100th post. ive been missing playing piano again spotify.link/iGcoVWDcRXb

i want to draw vent art but its stuck in my head. when i try to sketch it just doesnt look good. upsetting. i also want to draw a "i think were gonna have to kill this guy" picture of viktor and verso(coe33). just for me. because its so niche no one out there is going to make it if i dont

i feel like a low quality jpeg

my art is so uninteresting lately its bothering me. i wish i could do more

i did go to rehab today. read science magazines the whole time again. then for the rest of the day i didnt really do anything. watched another movie. yay me

managed to draw something today. its me

im a twilight fan now

i dont think ill ever get over feeling shy posting about my interests on *my own* account, its so stupid. severe lack of viktorposting here even though he occupies my thoughts most of the day. i get embarassed typing it all out and then give up

saw a dream where a poisonous snake ate my brains and then slithered down my spine to eat the rest of my organs

(coe33 vague spoilers) okay maybe my estimate of "halfway done" was a little off, finished act 1 today and then played a little further after that. i knew he was gonna die because i got spoiled (own fault), but i really liked him so feeling a little sad today. not really trusting this new guy

tried drawing on my tablet i feel so rusty... ive been thinking about an iron maiden themed faust, kind of a monster design. she has too many human shaped forms, i want something different even if i end up never drawing it again

awful day. worst in a while. drew meaningless patterns to get my mind off things. last one i drew with my left hand again. hope tomorrow is better

watched movies today with a friend and had fun. i havent been drawing at all again. i think im about halfway done with coe33

love the ost so far, adding them to my drawing bgm list as i go youtu.be/gF9I1HQbd0Y?...

left hand faust i drew at rehab. very up and down days recently. bought expedition 33 today very excited to play it because ive managed to avoid all spoilers. saw a dream where a big fluffy werewolf hugged me, if any werewolves are reading this please contact me and give me a chance. thank you

had to pull till hard pity, but yay. i saved up gems for a good while

my viktorling&pillow arrived today and im happy but wow.... im subhuman trash

now that im a little less rusty with drawing i cant come up with anything to draw. i only get good ideas when im off my meds

one fear: redrawing old art but the new one ends up worse than the original

more old faust art... makes me feel a little nostalgic. her ears and sleeves got bigger and bigger as time went on lol

this doodle &poem (if you could call it that) i made in 20 minutes is still one of my fav faust drawings ive done. i remember exactly what prompted me to draw it and how i felt. i want to redraw some more of my old art so im sorting through them

that new procreate update made it actually usable. miracles do happen

ive been watching vinny play silent hill f (cant bring myself to pay 80€ for it though id like to play it) and ive loved it so far, the environments and soundtrack/sound design especially are really good

im gonna draw some buuullshiiit today! ueah! !

song ive liked recently open.spotify.com/track/2EBZGi...

viktor.......must draw viktor tomorrow................*explosions *

Yes I wanted to make one of those airy phone wallpapers vibe kind of shot for this bb 💜 Nyahoooooo managed to finish this just in time RAAAAA #arcane #viktor #otherfandoms

today was really hard but i made it through without major incident