The visual contrast here was appealing. I really love fall.

I mean, it's fine to like cigars. It's even fine to really *really* like cigars... But if every. single. last. solitary. thing you post is cigar-related, it gets really tedious. You have other interests besides cigars, don't you? I'd love to see those too.

Me: "I think the people who designed the Hyundai Santa Fe were secretly pups." Them: "What makes you say that?" Me: "I mean look! 😂"

In some alternative universe out there, the slang abbreviation of "blowjob" is "bloje", and I dunno, sometimes I find myself thinking about them. What's it like over there? How are they doing?

Gays having the decency to not take dick pics while sitting on a toilet challenge (impossible, apparently 🤮)

There needs to be a "No! Nut November!" meme, along the same lines as the Lionel Hutz "No! Money down!" gag from The Simpsons.

Heads up: If you get an unexpected "Delivery Status Notification (Failure)" email, it's a phishing attempt. Don't open it. Don't download any attachments. Don't click any links inside. Just delete it. Read this article to learn more.

Who else is gonna be here? 🍆💦

A member of Congress just stole my shopping cart. How's *your* day going?

When deejaying isn't paying the bills and you decide to just give up and go live on a farm... but a very small part of you holds onto the dream.

Go visit my safe-for-work profile, where I'm posting a slow trickle of camping trip photos that are a month and a half old by now, oops. 😅

Just came across a profile where someone got all huffy about strangers following them. "My profile literally says if you follow me and I don't know you, don't get offended if I block you", they said, "and yet I had to block a bunch of people for following me! The nerve!" ???

I was thinking about the hole I'm fucking tonight, and my pants suddenly got very uncomfortable.

Gay smut profiles that say "no women" in their bios are surprisingly common. And I just... don't get it. Imagine putting your naked pics online for the world to see, and then getting upset because you forgot that roughly half of the world is women. What do you think you're accomplishing?

I'll find an opportunity to share a dick pic or something soon. But in the meantime, more pics from my camping trip! Quote-posting here so it gets more eyes.

Another non-porn post about my camping trip. Check it out!

Sharing here because my non-porn Bluesky has basically no followers, and I'd like it if at least a few people saw my normal-life stuff. 😅

Does anyone have a birthday present for me? 😘

I hope someday the gays will come up with a different thing to say when they post their haircut selfies. 😂

🤯

Are Christians TRYING to be homoerotic?

I hope the person riding a motor scooter around Portland while wearing a trans pride flag as a cape is having a good day.

"Hey stud! Are you big in EVERY way? 😉"

Happy #FCF. Took these at the nude beach the other day. A guy noticed me playing with myself and asked me to fuck him. 😈

I just want someone to cuddle up to me, give me belly rubs, and fondle my balls while they have their face buried in my pit. Is that too much to ask? 🥺

Sorry to interrupt your porn. But the camas I'm giving to a friend has just started blooming, and I'm so jazzed and wanted to share!

Just finished changing my oil, and greased my ball joints and tie rods. Now my hands are gonna look like this for a couple days... I wonder if Albolene would help. 🤔

I have this brain worm that only gay people who use Linux will understand, and I have no one to share it with, and it's driving me up a wall, so I need to just let it out... YaST queen

If I'm following you, and you flood my feed with so many reposts that I find myself wishing I could turn off reposts from you specifically... that's an unfollow.

l33t h4xx0rz

Can I ask people who identify as demisexual, or somewhere on that spectrum, to chime in? What does being demi mean for you? How did you figure out you were demi? Asking for... reasons. 👀

😅

Me: "Why do I always struggle to put my thoughts into words?" My thoughts:

If you meant to do this but it slipped your mind, this is your reminder to do it now!

I keep getting new likes on that Tim Walz thing I posted a while ago. Every time, I'm like, "Oh yeah, Tim Walz, I remember him... He would have been so cool..." And I have to let out an exhausted, bitter sigh.

Sometimes I cosplay as a gardener. I'm really excited to see this batch of camas bloom in a couple months.

Happy #FCF! Here's a throwback to a recently busted nut that felt especially good.

I like to think the people who see thirst trap photos and reply with "hooooot" are just enthusiastically playing out their owl fursona. (Or is it a feathersona? 🤷‍♂️)

In a previous post, I said that I emailed [email protected] and reported the "marcrose" OnlyFans spam bot. I got this somewhat promising result. If we all do this, maybe it'll help? 🤷‍♂️

I highly suggest emailing [email protected] to report any OnlyFans spam bots that follow you. I don't know if it'll help, but if they get a bunch of emails about it, I guess the chance of it helping will increase.

Feel free to follow my non-porn profile, where I'm liable to geek out over the silly little itty-bitty presents I buy for my dear old truck.

Other people when they're sick: "Why do I get so horny when I'm sick, ugh 😩" My dick when I'm sick: "Hello! You have tried to reach me while I'm out of the office on holiday. I will respond when I return. Thank you for your email."

My cock was begging for attention this morning. #FCF

These pumpkins are... thiccc. 😬

I saw a trailer for a Marvel movie coming in the spring that has David Harbour playing a guy with a Russian accent. Even as someone who's 100% uninterested in the superhero movie craze, I would 100% consider seeing it, for uh, reasons.

The flexibility of language is amazing.

The compound emojis that get suggested by Android's emoji keyboard are just wild and unhinged. Like, oh perfect, I was yearning for a hot-and-bothered-turtle emoji.

On the one hand, I feel like Walz is way too wholesome for this. On the other hand, I guess I wouldn't NOT watch. 👀

Speaking of grease, I did a grease monkey thing! Details over on my main. If you need your fluids worked on, a few squirts of penetrating oil, or need your ball joints handled, I guess I'm your guy.

I was thinking about how good Albolene feels and wanted to treat myself. Those very first strokes after you grease up feel just... e x q u i s i t e